What is "cheating" ?

[eris]

What constitutes "cheating" in a relationship ?

Is no-touching the only rule ?



Ill refrain for now I just want to see what you all have to say about this.

 

[Badjedidude]

awesome thread, Will post when not (edit: mostly) drunk.

 

[Sean]

I'm gonna go with the

'a person is a cheater if there is physical touching only, including lapdances'

option.

 

[Knight]

I wish I could choose more then one option....

 

[shells]

I'd like to think that cheating is anything that you wouldn't do in front of your significant other. That being said, it depends on the individual couple. My boyfriend and I have already talked about what we both agree is grounds for cheating.

 

[eris]

I wish I could choose more then one option....

Yeah, I really didnt have control over that.

What I mean is, this including everything "more" than this, is cheating.

 

[Knight]

I wish I could choose more then one option....

Yeah, I really didnt have control over that.

What I mean is, this including everything "more" than this, is cheating.

Oohhh gotcha.

 

[Badjedidude]

I voted for the "intercourse" option, but really, in a relationship I wouldn't like my girlfriend/spouse touching other guys and stuff...

I think shells is right. It's going to be different for every relationship. Just make sure both parties involved in the relationship know where the line is.

 

[Sterling]

I don't think it would be cheating if you had feelings for someone, as long as you didn't act out on those feelings. Now, physical touching...such as groping or intimate things such as kissing I would consider cheating, along with sex, as well as cyber sex.

 

[Knight]

I don't think it would be cheating if you had feelings for someone, as long as you didn't act out on those feelings. Now, physical touching...such as groping or intimate things such as kissing I would consider cheating, along with sex, as well as cyber sex.

This is exactly what I wanted to say but was too lazy to type out.

 

[Zak]

...

 

[SophiaGrace]

I'd like to think that cheating is anything that you wouldn't do in front of your significant other. That being said, it depends on the individual couple. My boyfriend and I have already talked about what we both agree is grounds for cheating.

Good one shells

---

I think gettting yourself into a situation where you could develop romantic feelings for someone else might be considered emotionally cheating..

 

[A Desolate Soul]

i wish i could choose more than one option, but i chose the one with physical touching cause i figured that would include sex, kissing, groping, and other things like that. i would also include cybersex as cheating.

 

[PurpleDays]

I didn't know which one to click, so I am going to discuss instead.

I think cheating is anything you wouldn't want to see your spouse doing - so that's where to draw the line for yourself.

I think there's a massive difference between a slight lapse of fidelity and a quick kiss, pull away and OH GOD, WHAT AM I DOING?! to actually going back to someone's house, taking your clothes off... etc. I think that no matter how drunk you are, there always has to be some level of conscious thought if it goes into anything physical. And yes, there is drink-spiking etc etc, but that clearly isn't cheating, as there is no area of fault.

I think cyber sex doesn't count, really... but a cyber-relationship creates intimacy and feelings - I think I'd be more upset if that happened, like a long-term thing.


And my goodness, porn is NOT cheating. Reading that made my eyebrows raise so high they nearly exploded.

With kisses, I'm a wee bit unsure. Cos sometimes kisses can mean a lot a lot a lot. (see kissing thread for details ).

Cheating is bad -_-

 

[cheaptrickfan]

I'd like to think that cheating is anything that you wouldn't do in front of your significant other. That being said, it depends on the individual couple. My boyfriend and I have already talked about what we both agree is grounds for cheating.

Good one shells

---

I think gettting yourself into a situation where you could develop romantic feelings for someone else might be considered emotionally cheating..

---

Yes, to what both Soph and Shells have said. To a large degree, it depends on what the individuals involved think constitutes cheating.

Speaking for myself, from that list, I'd say physical intercourse, definitely cheating; touching, absolutely yes (think about it guys, would you want your gf/wife rubbing some other guy's dick?); romantic feelings, definitely cheating; cybersex/phone sex, definitely cheating.

Porn, no.

The last choice, I disagree with. If there is sex, there is cheating. Perhaps there are couples for whom it isn't so. *shrugs*


In Nina's Emotional Affairs thread, I voiced my opinion on this.

Almost anyone could have a night of drunken stupidity leading to a sexual infidelity which he or she regrets instantly, but an emotional affair is the sign of a larger problem. I think that it suggests that the most basic emotional connection between you and your spouse is gone and really, at that point, why bother continuing? If you have a strong emotional attachment to someone other than your spouse, then just get the damned divorce already.

When the other spouse discovers that her or his significant other has strong feelings for someone else, trust me, that hurts like hell. It can feel as though the whole foundation of the relationship is shattered.

I would honestly consider a non-sexual emotional attachment my SO had with someone else as more of a betrayal than one stupid drunken moment that led to actual physical contact.

Don't get me wrong, I think that both cases can be considered cheating. If I found out that he got drunk and stupid at a strip club and ****** a stripper, I'd be upset, pissed and wondering about the strength of his commitment to me, but it might be salvageable. However, anytime there is real romantic affection for someone other than one's spouse, I think that the relationship is pretty much done.

 

[PurpleDays]

Damn, you certainly have a way with words cheaptrickfan.

I concur.

 

[lomojojo]

I agree with most cheating on your SO means anything that you would have to lie and hide from them whether it is sex, talk, touch or even thought. Pornography could qualify as cheating, again if you are watching it behind their backs. Having sex with someone else while your SO is aware of it and consents to it does not constitute cheating. That's why I chose the last option.

 

[Minus]

"a person is only a cheated if they have intercourse with another person"

Cheating such as an emotional affair does not require intercourse.

"a person is a cheater if there is physical touching only, including lapdances"

Depends on the kind and intent of the touching but it is possible.

"a person is cheating if they have romantic or intimate feelings for another person"

It is going back to the concept of an emotional affair again.

"a person is cheating if they have cybersex"

Yes

"a person is cheating if they view pornography"

No

"even if a person has sex with another person they still may not be cheating"

I have seen countless cheaters go through their rationalizations as to why what they are doing doesn't really count as cheating and it has all been bull. Or maybe you were referring to having your SO's permission to go have sex with someone else.

I can't pick any of the options as all inclusive.

 

[cheaptrickfan]

Damn, you certainly have a way with words cheaptrickfan.

Thanks.

 

[Nyu001]

I just got cracked up by this memory of a Show in Spanish I watched last year. A man was having sex with another woman and his wife caught him. He told her that he was not having sex with that other woman, he was just helping her to get pregnant because she wanted to have a baby. So he was using his bat as a tool for help her.

What are the thoughts here about "Cheating mentally"? Would you count it? Is it silly to you? Does everybody does that one and keep it hidden?