S
shadetree
Guest
NOTE: The comments in the list arent directed at anybody on this forum or anybody in particular, just getting some feelings and thoughts out.
Ever sit down and try to figure out what triggers your feelings of loneliness?
One thing over the years thats helped me deal with my own loneliness is trying to understand it. Just thought maybe this might help somebody, because if we can figure out what these things are, if we can avoid them maybe it would help us not have to deal with quite so many of the lonely feelings.
I think a lot of people think this is supposed to be some big secret or something, and if you feel that way its fine, you dont have to write your list here but it might help you if you write it for yourself to better understand the root cause of what youre dealing with.
Thats the hope anyway.....
My list:
~Cruel, mean and people who are constantly angry.
*Especially people who are cruel to animals and children.
~Self centered people.
~People who think theyre better than others or look down on them.
~Rude people that have no consideration for others.
~Being ignored
~Feeling invisible.
*This ones kind of the same as being ignored but its like they give you a little acknowledgement but not enough to make you truly feel like youre there or you or your opinion matters in the slightest. Alot of times its a mix of the other things in this list.
~Passive Agressive Snide Snobby People
*Bitches in other words, self explanatory. This one makes me lonely because these people have a big huge wall between you and them their attitude, so not much chance of making a connection there...
~Back stabbers
*Nothing worse than somebody who smiles to your face and then turns around and talks crap or does stuff behind your back. Never understood this.
~Vain people
* I think this one is really a hurtful one for me. Ive always felt unattractive physically and there is NOTHING in the world i can realistically do about that, unless i win the lottery and get a billion dollars of plastic surgery It just makes me feel even more helpless when dealing with these asshats who think because they won the genetic lottery theyre something special. When the truth is most of them have even less to say than the average person because they didnt have to learn other skills and things to survive but depend on their looks to coast through life. Its okay though because as they get older their looks fade and theyre left with nothing. So thats small conselation. Im not a hateful person but in all serious if this is you fresia YOU, stop doing this honeysuckle, not only are you probably making people miserable around you, youre cheating yourself of becoming who you truly could be because youre so focused on being a barbie or ken doll. Give it a rest its tired and old...we know sex sells, go sell that honeysuckle somewhere else...
~Actors and Liars
*I dont mean the ones on tv those are awesome. I mean those people that pretend to be things theyre not, people who try too hard etc. Really annoying and makes me sad. Id a hundred times be around somebody who had a lot of abrasive habits that was truly being themselves than somebody who "seemed" to be something but then you find out later it was all an act. Its really confusing.
~Descrimination
*Racism, people that hate somebody because of their sexual preference etc, just silly backwards thinking. People are all people no matter what we do, you dont have to agree with it but you can still be respectful of the person. I guess what bothers me most about this is just the overall lack of respect and ignorance of this kind of thinking.
~When people have a lot of friends, are successful etc
*Im not jealous of these people. But it would be nice to live that life and the thought that always occurs to me is ill never have that. Whether thats true or not it seems all too true at the time and then that kicks off the loneliness due i guess to the feelings of helplessness to change my life.
~Having nobody call/write/come around
*This one i think ive kindve gotten used to over the years because ive been this way for so long. Lately i do have a few people write on the net but then a few weeks later theyre gone and i never hear from them again.
~The Internet
*It makes me lonely because of how transient it is and nothing seems permanent here. I get attached to people i meet and think of them as friends then poof gone. I dont do this as much as i used to but it still happens sometime. I think over time ive grown numb to it when it happens because it doesnt bother me as much anymore. Maybe that means im losing part of myself or i smartened up? Im not really sure. Still sucks.
~Mental Illness
*Just including everything in this, anxiety, depression, and whatever else is wrong with me. I think the bad thing about this is the longer you have a mental illness untreated the more it has a sort of snowball effect and you pick up other bad things. Like i started out with just anxiety but over time that caused me to spend all this time alone which lead to depression, then the isolation, which in turn causes more long term issues physical mental and otherwise. Being trapped in this mental state makes me lonely and takes control away from my life. That makes me lonely too that it feels like nobody truly understands whats going on with me because its such a rare disorder and i genuinely believe they dont know how to treat / approach it.
~Out of Touch
*This is another one from the isolation. As you spend a lot of time alone you lose track of whats going on in the real world outside your own bubble reality and that makes it even harder to connect to people and talk to them because you arent truly a part of their world anymore. More helpless feelings. That adds to the loneliness too.
~Misunderstandings
*This one really bothers me. I hate when i do or say something and it comes across totally wrong. Generally everything i do in life i mean it in a good positive manner but i tend to really screw that up because i cant express myself as i need to.
~Unable to pick up on social cues
*This one kind of falls under the mental illness category since its due to my APD, but i have a lot of trouble picking up when people infer things if they dont come right out and say them, which makes me end up looking like i dont care to most people or im totally clueless. When in actuality i pay more attention to everything than the average person it just is like these things are invisible to me. Ive thought for a while i may have aspergers syndrome but ive never been officially diagnosed.
~Being Different / out of place
*This one is hard to explain but i just always feel out of my element and sort of off in how i deal with the world and come across to people. I truly like being different but it doesnt win you any awards. Most people talk about how they wanna be different theyre original etc, but their idea of being different is to be just like everybody else. When youre truly different people shun you, hate you, dont give you a chance etc. This one is just tiring mostly after dealing with it so long.
Ever sit down and try to figure out what triggers your feelings of loneliness?
One thing over the years thats helped me deal with my own loneliness is trying to understand it. Just thought maybe this might help somebody, because if we can figure out what these things are, if we can avoid them maybe it would help us not have to deal with quite so many of the lonely feelings.
I think a lot of people think this is supposed to be some big secret or something, and if you feel that way its fine, you dont have to write your list here but it might help you if you write it for yourself to better understand the root cause of what youre dealing with.
Thats the hope anyway.....
My list:
~Cruel, mean and people who are constantly angry.
*Especially people who are cruel to animals and children.
~Self centered people.
~People who think theyre better than others or look down on them.
~Rude people that have no consideration for others.
~Being ignored
~Feeling invisible.
*This ones kind of the same as being ignored but its like they give you a little acknowledgement but not enough to make you truly feel like youre there or you or your opinion matters in the slightest. Alot of times its a mix of the other things in this list.
~Passive Agressive Snide Snobby People
*Bitches in other words, self explanatory. This one makes me lonely because these people have a big huge wall between you and them their attitude, so not much chance of making a connection there...
~Back stabbers
*Nothing worse than somebody who smiles to your face and then turns around and talks crap or does stuff behind your back. Never understood this.
~Vain people
* I think this one is really a hurtful one for me. Ive always felt unattractive physically and there is NOTHING in the world i can realistically do about that, unless i win the lottery and get a billion dollars of plastic surgery It just makes me feel even more helpless when dealing with these asshats who think because they won the genetic lottery theyre something special. When the truth is most of them have even less to say than the average person because they didnt have to learn other skills and things to survive but depend on their looks to coast through life. Its okay though because as they get older their looks fade and theyre left with nothing. So thats small conselation. Im not a hateful person but in all serious if this is you fresia YOU, stop doing this honeysuckle, not only are you probably making people miserable around you, youre cheating yourself of becoming who you truly could be because youre so focused on being a barbie or ken doll. Give it a rest its tired and old...we know sex sells, go sell that honeysuckle somewhere else...
~Actors and Liars
*I dont mean the ones on tv those are awesome. I mean those people that pretend to be things theyre not, people who try too hard etc. Really annoying and makes me sad. Id a hundred times be around somebody who had a lot of abrasive habits that was truly being themselves than somebody who "seemed" to be something but then you find out later it was all an act. Its really confusing.
~Descrimination
*Racism, people that hate somebody because of their sexual preference etc, just silly backwards thinking. People are all people no matter what we do, you dont have to agree with it but you can still be respectful of the person. I guess what bothers me most about this is just the overall lack of respect and ignorance of this kind of thinking.
~When people have a lot of friends, are successful etc
*Im not jealous of these people. But it would be nice to live that life and the thought that always occurs to me is ill never have that. Whether thats true or not it seems all too true at the time and then that kicks off the loneliness due i guess to the feelings of helplessness to change my life.
~Having nobody call/write/come around
*This one i think ive kindve gotten used to over the years because ive been this way for so long. Lately i do have a few people write on the net but then a few weeks later theyre gone and i never hear from them again.
~The Internet
*It makes me lonely because of how transient it is and nothing seems permanent here. I get attached to people i meet and think of them as friends then poof gone. I dont do this as much as i used to but it still happens sometime. I think over time ive grown numb to it when it happens because it doesnt bother me as much anymore. Maybe that means im losing part of myself or i smartened up? Im not really sure. Still sucks.
~Mental Illness
*Just including everything in this, anxiety, depression, and whatever else is wrong with me. I think the bad thing about this is the longer you have a mental illness untreated the more it has a sort of snowball effect and you pick up other bad things. Like i started out with just anxiety but over time that caused me to spend all this time alone which lead to depression, then the isolation, which in turn causes more long term issues physical mental and otherwise. Being trapped in this mental state makes me lonely and takes control away from my life. That makes me lonely too that it feels like nobody truly understands whats going on with me because its such a rare disorder and i genuinely believe they dont know how to treat / approach it.
~Out of Touch
*This is another one from the isolation. As you spend a lot of time alone you lose track of whats going on in the real world outside your own bubble reality and that makes it even harder to connect to people and talk to them because you arent truly a part of their world anymore. More helpless feelings. That adds to the loneliness too.
~Misunderstandings
*This one really bothers me. I hate when i do or say something and it comes across totally wrong. Generally everything i do in life i mean it in a good positive manner but i tend to really screw that up because i cant express myself as i need to.
~Unable to pick up on social cues
*This one kind of falls under the mental illness category since its due to my APD, but i have a lot of trouble picking up when people infer things if they dont come right out and say them, which makes me end up looking like i dont care to most people or im totally clueless. When in actuality i pay more attention to everything than the average person it just is like these things are invisible to me. Ive thought for a while i may have aspergers syndrome but ive never been officially diagnosed.
~Being Different / out of place
*This one is hard to explain but i just always feel out of my element and sort of off in how i deal with the world and come across to people. I truly like being different but it doesnt win you any awards. Most people talk about how they wanna be different theyre original etc, but their idea of being different is to be just like everybody else. When youre truly different people shun you, hate you, dont give you a chance etc. This one is just tiring mostly after dealing with it so long.
![Thomas]](https://cdn.imagearchive.com/alonelylife/data/avatars/s/14/14186.jpg?1631136400){kind=avatar}
