Yesterday, I attempted to watch The Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard.
A sequel to the previous movie, The Hitman's Bodguard, but with less than half the charm.
Ryan Reynolds stars, Samual Jackson, and Sam's Heyak, should provide comedy, swearing, and ****s. You'll have to dig deep for the comedy. Even the swearing is marginal. As for ****s, Heyak still has a fantastic pair, that somehow become overbearing within this film. You will eventually want her to put them away.
Reynolds plays Reynolds, only perhaps without any enthusiasm. The remaining cast perform akin to either being high on lsd, or possibly taking the piss out of the director. Either way, it's just plain awful.
The movie itself, consists of lengthy slow-mo fight scenes, lots of fast paced action stunts, all linked by the awful acting. Verious European countries are used as the backdrop, with no apparent reason.
I withstood the torture for around an hour, then scanned through to the end. It was a magnanimous steaming pile of *****, squeezed out from a heroin addict's anus, having been buggered by horny dinosaur: which would have been infinitely more interesting to watch!
Avoid.