What's the difference between sympathy and love?

[Doubt The Rabbit]

How do you know when you're just feeling sorry for someone, wanting to be near them as a source of strength, or if you really love that person?

 

[Limlim]

If you get a boner when you are near them as well, it is love true love.

 

[Lollipop286]

Well....if you have to question it, I don't think it would be love.

 

[Nitramici]

Well....if you have to question it, I don't think it would be love.

Really? Why not? I don't think I know a single person in a couple that has never questioned it...

Also, when the girl in your sig moved, it spooked me. That was totally unexpected.

But yes, listen to Limlim, DtR. If you get a boner, you're in love! That'll totally help you.

 

[Drama]

What if you never get a boner? Like for asexual people (d)

 

[SophiaGrace]

http://www.alonelylife.com/thread-what-s-the-difference-between-empathy-sympathy-and-pity

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What if you never get a boner? Like for asexual people (d)

You're a girl. We don't get boners.

 

[Lollipop286]

Well....if you have to question it, I don't think it would be love.

Really? Why not? I don't think I know a single person in a couple that has never questioned it...

Also, when the girl in your sig moved, it spooked me. That was totally unexpected.

But yes, listen to Limlim, DtR. If you get a boner, you're in love! That'll totally help you.

Well, if you're really in love there will be no questioning, you'll just know. That's just my opinion though

EDIT: It's creepy isn't it?

 

[Pheenix]

Well, the problem is of course that love doesn't biologically exist, so it really just comes down to your own definition of love.

 

[Drama]

It'd be very annoying if someone's definiton of love = great sympathy. Especially if sympathy means to understand what another is going through. Makes one feel close to that person...

 

[Doubt The Rabbit]

To be honest, I don't think it really matters. If you're willing to be happy putting up with the person for the rest of your life, it's okay. No need to go in-depth about it. If one were to pick apart every relationship they come across, they'll find that MOST relationships, even friendship, are built on superficial things and grow into a deeper bond.
People do things like analyze love and the meaning of relationships, but isn't it all the same if you can appreciate the person you're with, for whatever reason? And if you find you can't appreciate their exclusive company anymore for whatever reason, then just break up with them - simple as that.
Leave the analyzing to lonely philosophers who fulfill their lives by putting deep meaning into something that may not have any. If you say you like this person, then try it out.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Empathy....

This is whats been taught to me through a lot of recovery and learning to live a healthier life. Wheater it has to do with drug abuse or codependentcy..
Recovery sometimes focus on relationship a lot. At all level... Firendships, Lovers and family members....becuase theres a lot of
mental and emotional ties.

U conditional LO/E...no expectations,
no strigs..etc..etc
When dealing with alcoholism..The alcoholic or the sick person then to act irrotically or make insane decisions...then sometimes gose into a very depressive state...feeling sorry for themselves..self pity..etc..etc.

A codependent person will try to be there for them..but gets sucked into
the disease or insanity...such as wanting to be there for them orcaring for them...enable them.
Emotionally. Fanicailly...etc..et

The have empathy for a sick person thats is an egotistic son of a *****....especailly your love ones.

You knwo you fix them or change them.
You can love them from a distance. .

 

[nerdygirl]

Are we talking about sympathy or pity? We had a thread in which the differences between those were discussed. I think that a person should be able to recognize if they care for a person or if they feel sorry for the person. Even emotionally void as I am, I'm able to determine whether I actually like somebody or not.

 

[SophiaGrace]

Are we talking about sympathy or pity? We had a thread in which the differences between those were discussed. I think that a person should be able to recognize if they care for a person or if they feel sorry for the person. Even emotionally void as I am, I'm able to determine whether I actually like somebody or not.

I linked to it in my post earlier in this thread.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

You dont have to live in the chaos or
madness with them...

You dont have pity for them..becuase they bascially did that **** to themselve.
Becuase of the guilt trip or alki are like emotional vampaires...

You understand , love and care..
No judgments and no sympathy either.

Empathy...or compassion

---

A person dosnt have to be an alki...the be an emotional vampiar. Anyone can have these traits...but alki dose it more offen becuase of the destructive life style or they get depressed , *****, wine all the damn time...becuase alcohol is a depressent..
Irrespnsible at all levels...mentally, emotionally ..etc..etc .
life sucks...blah..blah..blah and its eveyone else fault. blame shifting,
guilt...ect ect. Very manipultive, controlling, and egotistic..until they come down then go into a deep depression...

Manic depressive..
Passive agressvie.
Bi polar or Dr jackle and Mr hyde...routine.

 

[Drama]

Are we talking about sympathy or pity? We had a thread in which the differences between those were discussed. I think that a person should be able to recognize if they care for a person or if they feel sorry for the person. Even emotionally void as I am, I'm able to determine whether I actually like somebody or not.

Sympathy. not empahy or pity...




I wouldnt like to tell someone "i like you" and some time after that realise that it was just sympathy. (and yeah some people cant make a difference (no) sadly )

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Pay attention to your own emotions..

When feel act of what think is pity. Or trying to help someone

What feeling are you react or reponsing from...its is out of guilt?

Notice your emotions when your in love
or feel love? what dose that feel like?

---

Get in touch with your own emotions first....

You cant help oithers unless you can stand on your own two feet first.

You cant love others unless you love yourself first.

an annalogy...
A life graud usually dosnt jump in a pool when a person is drown themself..
Theyll just toss in a life preserve so the person can help themself...

Or if a person thats drowning...the life graud just gives directions or wait until the drowning person tire themselves out....

If you jump right in to save a person thats drowning....theyll pull you under with them..

---

Weahter youre doing out of love or pity...dosnt really matter.
Obviously you care for the person..

Its taking the proper or appropicate actions..that will determind for best
results...

So you must remine clam and not react to your own emotions..or panic.
Respond...not react.

The person in distress is already in panic and reacting.

---

Another annalogy...

If you already know how to catch fish..
You might share ur fish with your nighbour..everry so often.

But your not ganna give your own dinner away everyday..

The best thing to do is show your nighbour how to fish...
This why he can catch is own dinner too.

In other words...your neighbour can be self supporting too. Instead of you enabling his lazy *** or carry his burden.

But some people are stupid lazy...
so you got to let them strave.( HIT BOTTOM)
Theyll figure out how to fish by themsleves or ask how to go fishing.

Once a person is self supprting..they feel good themselves and not have much self fucken pity..

Its a win win situation.

 

[Drama]

I've always neglected my emotions. I cant pay attention to them x_x

... unless you love yourself first.

That's pretty hard.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Sorry you feel that way....
People tell me that **** all the time.lol
It used to bother me lots....
I would want ***** slapp those people sometimes.lol

I used to feel verry very guilty if I thought of myself first...As if it was selffish of me. I used to give people shirt off of my back..then find myself naked out in the cold.

But I have to be able to be self supporting @ all levels.
Mentally, emotionally, spiritually and finacially for me to help others.

Yes..its a noble thing to do to help others..but some people are like leaches and will suck you dry. So you must
have that self love or self presevations at some level or youll died or suffer the consequences...Very very unfair

I guess someone had to introduce me to the word Empaty for me to be able to
separate myself of the guilt.

I love other poeple too too much or more than myself.

---

I was living with my GF for 7 yrs.
She was the most loving and amazing woman. Very kind..very thoughtful.
She also worked with children. She helps children from dysfunctional or broken homes.
The turning piont..
After her father died and our children died within a couple of weeks apart.
She couldnt cope with so much lost or pains..She totally lost it or snapped.
I stayed with her for the next 5 yrs after that becuase I loved her very much...
It got worst N worst...I felt I lost her
that sameday our children died too..

We went from lving in a beutiufl townhouse..both had very succesful careers. Life was great..
The thought of having our own children.
She was happy and glowing while she was pregnant...

At the end or serveral times
I ended up sleeping in my car.

We dont even talk today.
Like enemies....