What's the point?

[GoldenSilence]

You know It's been awhile since I last posted on this site. I've been doing a lot of thinking... Let me start off simple, I'm going to college, got a job and working towards a better future, or so I tell myself. Even with all these "Socially Acceptable" things going on for me, most of the time I find myself wondering what's the point of it all? What's the point in working as hard as I can, to get a nice house, nice car, etc. if I'm just going to be lonely during the entirety of it all?

Going to school, I try to interact with those around me. I put myself out there and talk to everyone, be laid back, and make people laugh but in the end everyone forgets about me, they don't bother saying hello, don't bother start conversation with me. I'm starting to lose faith in the fact that people really care; if this is how it's going to be, why bother working so hard? I know you're supposed to do what makes YOU happy, but what if what makes me happy is interaction, and friends and relationships close to me? I've gotten numb to this bitter loneliness that surrounds us, I've started thinking maybe I'd be better off just spending the rest of my days smoking cigarettes and staring at the ceiling...

I guess this kinda post is a bit tough to respond to, but I guess if any of you feel the same way, I'd love to hear your perspectives 'n' stuff.

 

[Alana]

Coming from someone who has been abandoned by a lot of people in their life I can certainly empathize with you. Right now I'm sort of wondering the same thing myself really.

It is certainly frustrating to keep trying and feel like you're not getting anywhere. The one thing I can say about it though is that you can't predict the future. Just because your effort hasn't paid off now or even in the past, it doesn't cement your future. Things can change at any time, possibly without effort on your part even. That's what helps me get through anyway.

 

[ladyforsaken]

I kinda lost the point in life, recently, myself. I'm still trying to find it, to be honest. It feels stupid, cos it's as though you're lost and walking through life aimlessly. What is the point, indeed. I don't know. I guess you try to make up a point to have something to do or look forward to.

In your case, interaction, friendships, relationships. It's easier for me to say, keep trying to socialise and eventually you will find someone you can truly connect with - but it is true, I don't think there is any shortcut into finding someone you totally get along with. In my experience, do whatever you can to interact, online, offline.. and if it doesn't get anywhere with someone, don't fret, move along to other people. Eventually, there will be someone worth all this journey.

I never imagined I would meet such amazing people, just from this forum alone. People I can call my best friends, people I have travelled to and met, people who are there for me in the craziest times of my life, more than my family ever has been there for me.

If you're gonna spend the rest of your days smoking and staring at the ceiling, nothing will come out of it. But if you keep trying, the possibility will always be there.

Good luck, Jacob.

 

[GoldenSilence]

Coming from someone who has been abandoned by a lot of people in their life I can certainly empathize with you. Right now I'm sort of wondering the same thing myself really.

It is certainly frustrating to keep trying and feel like you're not getting anywhere. The one thing I can say about it though is that you can't predict the future. Just because your effort hasn't paid off now or even in the past, it doesn't cement your future. Things can change at any time, possibly without effort on your part even. That's what helps me get through anyway.

That's true, I guess I just have such a bitter disposition towards this is because, it happens almost all the time, as a human being, I'm not invincible so after a while it starts to wear down on me. Not to mention I do know what you mean by being abandoned by a lot of people that were "close" to me.

---

I kinda lost the point in life, recently, myself. I'm still trying to find it, to be honest. It feels stupid, cos it's as though you're lost and walking through life aimlessly. What is the point, indeed. I don't know. I guess you try to make up a point to have something to do or look forward to.

In your case, interaction, friendships, relationships. It's easier for me to say, keep trying to socialise and eventually you will find someone you can truly connect with - but it is true, I don't think there is any shortcut into finding someone you totally get along with. In my experience, do whatever you can to interact, online, offline.. and if it doesn't get anywhere with someone, don't fret, move along to other people. Eventually, there will be someone worth all this journey.

I never imagined I would meet such amazing people, just from this forum alone. People I can call my best friends, people I have travelled to and met, people who are there for me in the craziest times of my life, more than my family ever has been there for me.

If you're gonna spend the rest of your days smoking and staring at the ceiling, nothing will come out of it. But if you keep trying, the possibility will always be there.

Good luck, Jacob.

I appreciate it. I've been back stabbed by people "close" to me a few times before and so after that coupled with every attempt at being social backfires in one way or another, after awhile it just kind of gets tougher to just get up and walk forward sometimes. But like I said, thank you.

 

[ladyforsaken]

I appreciate it. I've been back stabbed by people "close" to me a few times before and so after that coupled with every attempt at being social backfires in one way or another, after awhile it just kind of gets tougher to just get up and walk forward sometimes. But like I said, thank you.

Oh yeah, I know, about backstabbing and having trust issues because people take advantage of me so much it hurts. I have pretty much little to no trust in anyone right now because of recent and past experiences. But you try to learn to be careful, even with the friends you make and I don't know, you just go with your gut. Sometimes I get too tired of keeping myself off and private that I'd just open up to one person.. sometimes certain things happen when you least expect it.. you never know what could happen unless you try, as tiring and as tough as it may seem.

 

[Alana]

I'm not invincible so after a while it starts to wear down on me.

I totally get that, I really do. After trying a lot I get worn down as well. It feels like it's never going to happen but I take a break and focus on other things. Then I come back to it fresh later with a better attitude and renewed determination. It's definitely not easy at all but so worth it to keep trying because when you do come across those keepers, you'll be glad you did.

 

[Darrell_Licht]

The point about working hard and educating yourself is to build individual capital. Don't kid yourself, You wouldn't give valuable time to a worthless *******. And I mean somebody who really lives on the fringes of society and smells bad. A 19 year old concerned about his pursuits and prospects is not that person. I think you know best what to do. Don't quit.

 

[Tiina63]

GoldenSilence, I understand where you are coming from. I think that our western societies place so much importance onto being succcessful at work, having your own house in a good area, your own car etc that we are made to feel that there is something wrong with us when we see that, although these can be good things to have, they are ultimately empty for many people if they are not close to anyone. When I was a student many years ago, I felt so alone, unhappy and empty inside whenever people talked about the 'marvellous future' I was going to have, with a good job and lots of material things, because I felt as you do, that on my own what would be the point? (Owing to health reasons, this 'marvellous future' didn't come about anyway).
What I would say to you is that doing the 'socially acceptable' stuff should give you a wider range of possible friends and partners eventually. It can be more difficult to date if you are unemployed as you can't afford to do many of things which someone with a bit more money can do.

 

[LonesomeLoner]

I've had those feelings about life too. The whole "what's the point" thing rele got to me at one point.

I just tried to take things one day at a time and start rebuilding my life again.

 

[Omnipotent Soul]

I know where you're coming from. All you want is some friends and a partner. I know totally what it's like. I'm nineteen and should be looking fowrad to the future. But instead, I really think it's just going to end badly.

 

[Outcast]

I try to interact with those around me. I put myself out there and talk to everyone, be laid back, and make people laugh but in the end everyone forgets about me, they don't bother saying hello, don't bother start conversation with me. I'm starting to lose faith in the fact that people really care; if this is how it's going to be, why bother working so hard? I know you're supposed to do what makes YOU happy, but what if what makes me happy is interaction, and friends and relationships close to me? I've gotten numb to this bitter loneliness that surrounds us, I've started thinking maybe I'd be better off just spending the rest of my days smoking cigarettes and staring at the ceiling...

^^ This exactly.

I've always been pretty successful to what I put my mind to. I've got a great job and financially I'm pretty comfortable. But somehow I manage to screw up my social life. I mean, I try to be laid back and funny or just a fun person to be around in general but it doesn't really work. I'm always the person taking the initiative to hang out or just start a conversation, because I always genuinely care about how the other person is doing. It would be nice if just one time the other person would show that they cared. A simple how are you or asking to go do something together. I can only take so much disappointment before losing faith, it makes me want to just say fresia it and just go solo from now on. What's the point in trying? Most people forget about you and disappear anyway.

I guess the only thing we can do is press on and keep trying. One positive with make up for all the failures. We'll see if it actually happens.

 

[Darkness]

You know It's been awhile since I last posted on this site. I've been doing a lot of thinking... Let me start off simple, I'm going to college, got a job and working towards a better future, or so I tell myself. Even with all these "Socially Acceptable" things going on for me, most of the time I find myself wondering what's the point of it all? What's the point in working as hard as I can, to get a nice house, nice car, etc. if I'm just going to be lonely during the entirety of it all?

Going to school, I try to interact with those around me. I put myself out there and talk to everyone, be laid back, and make people laugh but in the end everyone forgets about me, they don't bother saying hello, don't bother start conversation with me. I'm starting to lose faith in the fact that people really care; if this is how it's going to be, why bother working so hard? I know you're supposed to do what makes YOU happy, but what if what makes me happy is interaction, and friends and relationships close to me? I've gotten numb to this bitter loneliness that surrounds us, I've started thinking maybe I'd be better off just spending the rest of my days smoking cigarettes and staring at the ceiling...

I guess this kinda post is a bit tough to respond to, but I guess if any of you feel the same way, I'd love to hear your perspectives 'n' stuff.

You are definetly not alone. I to deal with this every day. Just shows are strong we really are. We don't see a point but we keep trucking anyway!