Whats the reason for Social loneliness

[AaronAgassi]

Find my answer at http://www.FoolQuest.com

 

[GodsLonelyMan]

I am not certain what exactly is the reason for social loneliness in general, but I can tell you why I think I'm lonely.

I know for a fact that I have a low self-esteem. I am very negative about everything and cannot accomplish difficult tasks. I always end up quiting. Nothing seems to motivate me. To make it short, I am what you can call a social misfit or simply put, disconnected.

The real question is why? Well, I despise whining but I must whine in this reply. My whole life has been utter crap. Ever since my childhood, I have always been lonely. I had my parents of course but I never had any friends. As an adolescent, I tried various times to break the ice and make friends but it never seemed to work. These would-be friends would just ignore me and at times, make fun of me. I tried numerous times to find a female companion and it never worked out. I was always rejected or ignored. I guess I wasn't good looking enough or popular enough. Only one time, when things seemed to be going great, I had the worst experience of my life.

I had met a girl in the school library and we started talking regularly for about a month. One day, she asked me to accompany her to the school dance. I did, that same night, we went to her house afterwards because her parents were gone for the night. We began romancing and kissing etc... When we were about to have intercourse, she burst out in laughter and told me that I was "un-fuckable" due to my incredibly "small" *****(to add insult to injury, she told me that I was the lousiest kisser she has ever been with). I was ashamed and left her house running. The next day, the entire school had heard about this ordeal and started making fun of me. I had to relocate after 2 months of enduring ridicule and inhumanity.

At the new school, everything was the same. I was still lonely, still trying to make friends, meet women, etc... It was then when I began to feel very depressed and decided to isolate myself from society because I wasn't cut out for it. I dropped out of school and explained everything to my mother. She then took me to a psychologist which referred me to a psychiatrist and I was diagnosed with various disorders.

Since then, My life has been the same monotony. Sleep all day, awake all night, chainsmoke, and living my "life" through a widescreen tv watching movies. My self esteem is beneath the floor, I have no social skills, I am jobless, I have no high school diploma, I have nothing except for my parents.

At this point, I don't think I'll ever attempt to do anything anymore. I lack the sexual skills at the age of 20 to please a woman, I lack the social skills to communicate with others, and I lack work skills to get hired anywhere. It's too late to learn the things I am supposed to know already.

Unfortunately, we live in a dog-eat-dog world and nothing can change that. I am a social misfit and I have learned to accept it.

Sorry for the long winded post.

 

[AaronAgassi]

That was simply too articulate to qualify as whining.

 

[DutchGirl]

Find my answer at http://www.FoolQuest.com

No Aaron, tell us here what you want to say.

 

[Arianna]

Nowadays...people are afraid.

 

[investor]

I am not certain what exactly is the reason for social loneliness in general, but I can tell you why I think I'm lonely.

I know for a fact that I have a low self-esteem. I am very negative about everything and cannot accomplish difficult tasks. I always end up quiting. Nothing seems to motivate me. To make it short, I am what you can call a social misfit or simply put, disconnected.

The real question is why? Well, I despise whining but I must whine in this reply. My whole life has been utter crap. Ever since my childhood, I have always been lonely. I had my parents of course but I never had any friends. As an adolescent, I tried various times to break the ice and make friends but it never seemed to work. These would-be friends would just ignore me and at times, make fun of me. I tried numerous times to find a female companion and it never worked out. I was always rejected or ignored. I guess I wasn't good looking enough or popular enough. Only one time, when things seemed to be going great, I had the worst experience of my life.

I had met a girl in the school library and we started talking regularly for about a month. One day, she asked me to accompany her to the school dance. I did, that same night, we went to her house afterwards because her parents were gone for the night. We began romancing and kissing etc... When we were about to have intercourse, she burst out in laughter and told me that I was "un-fuckable" due to my incredibly "small" *****(to add insult to injury, she told me that I was the lousiest kisser she has ever been with). I was ashamed and left her house running. The next day, the entire school had heard about this ordeal and started making fun of me. I had to relocate after 2 months of enduring ridicule and inhumanity.

At the new school, everything was the same. I was still lonely, still trying to make friends, meet women, etc... It was then when I began to feel very depressed and decided to isolate myself from society because I wasn't cut out for it. I dropped out of school and explained everything to my mother. She then took me to a psychologist which referred me to a psychiatrist and I was diagnosed with various disorders.

Since then, My life has been the same monotony. Sleep all day, awake all night, chainsmoke, and living my "life" through a widescreen tv watching movies. My self esteem is beneath the floor, I have no social skills, I am jobless, I have no high school diploma, I have nothing except for my parents.

At this point, I don't think I'll ever attempt to do anything anymore. I lack the sexual skills at the age of 20 to please a woman, I lack the social skills to communicate with others, and I lack work skills to get hired anywhere. It's too late to learn the things I am supposed to know already.

Unfortunately, we live in a dog-eat-dog world and nothing can change that. I am a social misfit and I have learned to accept it.

Sorry for the long winded post.

At least youve kissed a girl; ive never experienced that at age 19;

 

[AaronAgassi]

Find my answer at http://www.FoolQuest.com

No Aaron, tell us here what you want to say.

http://www.FoolQuest.com/flame.htm#links

 

[HiddenHydey]

Not to sound rude Aaron but it would help if your website's layout was a tad clearer. The most popular websites in the world like google have a very clear and plain layout. Not that website design has much to do with social loneliness.

I guess my own reason is I'm too awkward to fit in anywhere. I don't look like I belong anywhere and I have an odd way of talking. All my interests tend to be a bit niche. Also I get really nervous in public places so even if somebody invited me out I don't think I'd be able to do it.

 

[AaronAgassi]

HiddenHydey, are you blind? http://www.FoolQuest.com is all about social lonliness from word one!

 

[Blue Sky]

Oh your back, I thought you would have found another forum to spam your web site on by now.

 

[AaronAgassi]

Asked and answered.

 

[HiddenHydey]

HiddenHydey, are you blind? http://www.FoolQuest.com is all about social lonliness from word one!

No, what I mean is the decorative backgrounds, the revolving icons and things and the odd colours of the text. Sometimes simple black and white with underlined blue hyperlinks works best. And by sometimes I mean 90% of the time.

 

[AaronAgassi]

Well, that's joyless!

 

[HiddenHydey]

Well, that's readable!

Fixed it for you!

I'm not telling you to change, I'm just saying if you do you'll probably get more people reading it.

Anyways back to the topic!

 

[AaronAgassi]

Respectfully, I disagree.

 

[evanescencefan91]

i'm just not the popular type,

I'm really nice and try to connect with others

but i only connect with a few people that share my interest, and when i connect with someone love it, it's just a great feeling.

in my freshmen year i had a close knit groups of frineds i loved it and it was just great.

But then we didn't hang out after school anymore, and no one called me, and so i was just kinda dropped out, and it's happened more than once. I meet someone, who says they like me, and i try real hard to be interesting and kind. I'm very nice, i lend money, i burn cds i give rides. Do i just let myslef get used to have a friend? No i don't think i do favors to that extreme. I always ask if there's something, am I getting anyoning? did i make a mean joke- sometimes thats it, when i'm upset about the fact that they never call and i apologise.

Ussally they say everythings cool, but everyone feels so cold and distant, and it feels so awkward and intimidating.

I do not think i ask to much of my friends. It's just that I always feel so unaprieciated. They sometimes say they love me and give me hugs, and i love that, but are those words really real

No one ever calls never post anything on my facebook. And i just hate it.

And the more i've thought about over the past few months the more right i felt about this, that they didn't apreaciate me nearly enough . Also, they have like no manners whatsoever.

No one ever makes an effort to hang out and I'm always the hostess

I hate it.

I actually gainded an ego and some self confidence over the last few years, so i thought that at least some people would want to hang out with me.

I'm a funny smart nice person, what is wrong with me?

And i would usally put it aside and just try harder to get noticed.

My friend went sledding during the days off and she has no siblings so it had to be with friends, and they never even seem to mind talking about things they did without me.

IThis time I just got more upset with them, and still didn't seem to mind, when i talked to them about it. And explained myself and apolgise for my abnormal behavior.

But nothing changed, i would be stuck awake at night just being angry at people
people suck.
And I've never had enough backbone to yell aat them.

so on xanga, i wrote a few passive aggresive notes, and i never mentioned names, and actually i had them there for like a month beofre anyone looked at them, and so then when my friend did, she flipped and sent a insane guilt trip mean note on my facebook over thanksgiving break. Actually thats probly whats bad about those places is we confront them without being face to face. When we saw each other at shool later, we just pretended nothing happended, and since then we just talk a little bit about non important stuff. And I switched to second lunch this trimester, and i have asked to sit with them in the hallway and my friend said that it was fine. But i feel so intimidated when no one sees me or invites me over. That i just go to another table on the other side of the cafiteria.

I just hate it because I loved them all so much, freshman year was the greatest year of my life, and we would all hang out after school for hours and just chat. I thought the rest of highschool would be like that, I thought we'd be friends for years and i just kills me, because some of them had been close for a years or more.

We were all going to see sweeney todd

I know there going to go with out me.

 

[frey12]

evanescencefan91 my freshmen year of high school a representive from the group of friends I hung out with formly asked me and my best friend to not hang out there anymore. Oh I stuck around out of spite till they left but thats besides the point. However people who say they love you to quickly are lying or stupid(which probibly counts as love as far as I know). But friendship love is earned over years not weeks like relationship love. The internet attention you want and the internet aggression shouldnt be a main focus because internet aggression is passive aggression so nothing gets resolved. As for the attention I am not the guy to ask that I am like a scientist who studies females odd behaviour when it comes to woman looking for attention.

I know im no expert on friendships but believe me friends just dont love you it takes a long time. So you are right if they say they love then its meaningless.