What's wrong with me?

[karenak]

I really need some help here!
I am 40 years old, pretty well educated (dizzy at times) and not horrendous looking but i am a total misfit when it comes to friends and social situations.
I have never really found it easy to make friends and dont seem to keep them too well. I always seem to think people wont like me anyway or will prefer others to me. I avoid social situations when they occur as i think i will be the one with the empty seat next to me and people wouldnt care if i went or not. I am married with two teenage children i love to bits and i really dont want them to grow up and leave home. I worry that then my husband will leave me to find someone more fun and a better social life. I dont have anyone i could ring and say fancy going out for a drink and everyone else does seem to so whats wrong with me. I just want a really close friend to go shopping with/gossip with etc. Any suggestions

 

[SadRabbit]

Hummm...do you work karenak...? If you do, maybe what you can do is start from your workplace. Find someone pleasant (don't find backstabbers, cause there is much a plenty in offices) and maybe try to like go for gatherings with your colleagues. Even sometimes a simple lunch or dinner will take your mind of loneliness. As for your children, don't worry, though they might grow up, but since you sound like a loving mother, they will still love you no matter what, just that maybe you have to understand, sometimes, its impossible for them to be always by your side everytime as they have other social commitments. But if you have any hint that they are neglecting you, maybe you can just protest abit, like complain in a gentle way, it always works for my mom =). Lastly, what makes you think that your husband will leave you? Both of you don't communicate anymore? Often, communication is very important in a relationship. If you feel you are not getting enough love from him, talk to him. Maybe pout your lips a little =P lol, tell him how you feel cause often, man are very very insensitive. (trust me on that, I am the species of man haha ). Generally, by talking more to your spouse, both of you will be able to understand each other. In addition, show him that you care about him by maybe creating elements of surprise for him, like juz anyday out of the moment, cook maybe something he likes....haha who knows it may please him. Well, in actually boils down on how committed you are to rekindle the spark...sometimes, marriage is not necessary a end to relationship, but a whole knew beginning. haha... I don't know if my advice would work (yeah cause i am like 21, never been in a relationship before ), but this is what i personally feel, maybe if you like you can try =) hope you cheer up.

 

[JustLost]

I really need some help here!
I am 40 years old, pretty well educated (dizzy at times) and not horrendous looking but i am a total misfit when it comes to friends and social situations.

I'm 36, so I kind of know we're you're coming from. The older someone gets the harder it seems to find people you can connect and hang out with. It would be nice if we could go back in time to the schoolyard where it was easier to find someone to "play" with.

I would second SadRabbit's suggestion about finding someone at work. I've been trying to talk to people around here (my work) lately and I've started to make a few acquaintances. Ive found that if I try to have at least one reasonable conversation a day with someone I don't feel as isolated. hope that helps.