Which would be Worse?

[AFrozenSoul]

So everywhere I go people tell me I project my own self-hatred onto others. I make them hate me through my own self hatred. So recently, I have been thinking about adopting the persona of no one is good enough for me. You know, I am alone because the rest of the world is garbage. They all want to leech off my awesomeness.

So I am curious which is worse? I have to wonder because most people would say that both are terrible choices. However, let's pretend that you have to choose between only those options.

 

[whispers]

i would choose the first, beeing hated because of self hatred, simply because making people feel like trash is not something i would do....they are not responsible for someones issues and shouldnt suffer for it, they have their own **** to deal with.

 

[Stars]

It's kinda like asking if I would rather be bullied or be the bully...I've gone through it and I would rather hurt myself than others.
I don't like to make others suffer...it's just who I am. :/

And why can't you just try to be something more than those two crummy options? I mean, in some ways I hate myself but I don't shove it in everyone's face to make them hate me too. I work on it and it's improving...and people therefore, are responding better. Who wants to hang around someone that's always miserable and whining? Not saying you specifically do that but many self-haters always play the victim and whine, whine, whine. I know because I've been there.

 

[IgnoredOne]

Approach is wrong: you're focused too much on others in both cases.

For me, the changing point of my life was when I adopted the belief that I will simply try to learn from each experience, and that there was no failure while there was learning. So I proceeded to fail and burn the heck out of myself, but I learned well enough that I was able to relatively quickly understand and avoid making the same pitfalls.

Of the two, though, the latter is more likely to get you beaten up.

 

[Sci-Fi]

I don't like either of those, I don't even want to pretend.

Look, I don't know you or your life or what everyday is like for you. I've seen your posts on here though over the past few years and I have to say, you've given up. Not that you haven't tried, you have, but since you couldn't see change or got knocked back down you gave up. You can't give up, you can never give up. You have to get back up, dust yourself off and keep at it. Nothing comes easy and for some people it is even harder. It can take years for things to change in your life, it won't always come the next day. Look at what people are telling you, the ones you have actual contact with. They obviously wouldn't tell you if they didn't care about you.

 

[Lone Apothecary]

While I'd rather avoid settling for either, if I had to choose, I'd go with the former. There have been times where I've hated myself, but they never made me feel as bad as the crushing guilt when I acted arrogantly & treated others as if they were below me.

 

[Gutted]

The second one sounds like more fun then the first.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

@Stars: I only have those two options because they seem like the best way to pass time while I wait for my cat to die.

@IgnoredOne: I know I might get a beating. That is why I am considering it. I could get a beating and be left for dead. That sounds like the best thing that could ever happen to me.

@Sci-Fi: Well I did give. You say you can't, but I did. Like you said I tried and failed. I have earned the right to quit. I spent years trying and years failing. The next year's of my life won't be any different.

@Gutted: I agree which is why I thought of this thread.

 

[Melancholy]

Just do whatever feels right to you. I used to hate myself so much I would beat myself and it was all because that voice told me things I didn't want to hear about myself. I slowly but surely began telling myself how perfect I was as a defense mechanism. Then through that lie, I knew the truth, I actually am perfect. For in every lie there is a little bit of truth, I MUST be perfect because everyone around me is sucked into this oblivion of happiness and ignorance. Sardonic or not, I see a lot of people as monkeys in my life and respect few because none have given me a reason to respect them, but they have, given me a reason to mock them and to some, hate them. This doesn't apply to some people though, the teachers at my school, I like them. I see them as respectable. My online friends are respectable, my one local friend is, and my grandmother is respectable. Everyone else seems to put on the face of an ape.

 

[Barbaloot]

I'd go with the first one because at least if I truly hated myself I wouldn't be living in a lie pretending I am better than anyone.

 

[Melancholy]

I have to ask, why do you hate yourself anyways? You are all you have in life. Everyone probably factored into why you hate yourself. I used to think I would hate myself but really I just held vile views for my social skills and downed myself for trivial things and escalated them higher. I blame others for making me use to hate how I look, I thought if I became thinner I would be a more likable persona dn then when I became thin, people still didn't give a darn about me. It made me furious and I was just harder on myself. Heck, even today I am unbelievably hard on myself and that is not a good thing. I realize this but I just go into states of destruction and not even realize how bad they are until later.

 

[IgnoredOne]

@Sci-Fi: Well I did give. You say you can't, but I did. Like you said I tried and failed. I have earned the right to quit. I spent years trying and years failing. The next year's of my life won't be any different.

The thing is, you keep focusing on the negative and keep missing the specific and ultimately, not specifically difficult trend you need to be to make the progress you want in your life. Its almost as if you enjoy wallowing.