Who has and hasn't given up on love?

[AnonymousMe]

Just curious.

 

[Ecclesiastes]

Yes.

I am pretty much a life-long femcel, but without the harbored resentment.

I know I have a lot to work on before I can even think of sharing a life with someone else, and I don’t want a co-dependent relationship, or have to feel like I need someone else to complete me.

But sometimes it’s like damn: there has to be somebody out there. But maybe not, you know? Maybe some folks are just destined to stand alone. Lord knows I deserve it.

 

[Enpatsu No Shakugan]

Not at all. Every setback should lead to a better understanding of yourself and more optimism for the future.

You only fail completely when you give up. IE, complaining about something never, ever fixes it.

 

[user 150037]

For me insufficient puberty is a major barrier. I don't however feel bad about myself because of it - nor do I complain. I understand that there are just some things that I cannot control.

 

[DanL53]

If I talk myself into going to the store today, like I should, it will be maybe about the fifth time I have left my house in March.

But, yet....

 

[Cleanairfilter]

95% given up. I would have to meet a peculiar woman with peculiar taste in men, and peculiar women are rare by definition. I've only ever met one woman I was compatible with and I stuffed that up so I can't really expect to meet another one.

 

[ardour]

Every time I've shown interest in women I've been made to feel like some sort of harassment/rape threat regardless of making it clear there were no hard feelings, not crossing any boundaries as far as I could tell. So not given up exactly, but someone would have to seem interested me before I'd be willing to risk that again, and that's incredibly unlikely.

 

[Enpatsu No Shakugan]

Every time I've shown interest in women I've been made to feel like some sort of harassment/rape threat regardless of making it clear there were no hard feelings, not crossing any boundaries as far as I could tell. So not given up exactly,  but someone would have to seem interested me before I'd be willing to risk that again, and that's incredibly unlikely.

Women generally have good instincts.

For me insufficient puberty is a major barrier. I don't however feel bad about myself because of it - nor do I complain. I understand that there are just some things that I cannot control.

I'm quite curious by what you mean by this, if you don't mind elaborating or are comfortable sharing.

 

[ardour]

Every time I've shown interest in women I've been made to feel like some sort of harassment/rape threat regardless of making it clear there were no hard feelings, not crossing any boundaries as far as I could tell. So not given up exactly,  but someone would have to seem interested me before I'd be willing to risk that again, and that's incredibly unlikely.

Women generally have good instincts.

A lot of time on our hands eh. Athough I don't expect anything to do be done about it, obvious trolling of other members isn't allowed.

 

[Enpatsu No Shakugan]

Every time I've shown interest in women I've been made to feel like some sort of harassment/rape threat regardless of making it clear there were no hard feelings, not crossing any boundaries as far as I could tell. So not given up exactly,  but someone would have to seem interested me before I'd be willing to risk that again, and that's incredibly unlikely.

Women generally have good instincts.

Although I don't expect anything to do be done about it, personal attacks and obvious trolling of other members isn't allowed here.

Nah, you just always happen to be on and in the same topics as me.

So now trolling is voicing opinions on members who frequently post about the same subjects?
Funny, didn't you yourself say this was an open forum last we talked, where we were both allowed to such opinions without fear of the other?

Exactly.

You should utilize your ignore feature better.
I actually took you off mine. Your posts are too entertaining to miss.


And if you have something to add, just message me in private. I don't mind disagreeing with you, but let's not derail a topic for it.

 

[Sci-Fi]

Actually Enpatsu insulting other members, trolling, name calling, personal attacks are NOT allowed on the forum.

So as it apparently looks by your remarks that you meant your first reply to Ardour the way it looks, consider this a warning. Don't do it again. Remarks like that are not allowed. That was going too far. There is a difference in voicing your opinion and just being plain rude and mean.

 

[Enpatsu No Shakugan]

Alright, alright.

This guy is kinda hard not to reply to sometimes, but I'll fight the urge. It doesn't matter in the long run anyway.

 

[ardour]

Every time I've shown interest in women I've been made to feel like some sort of harassment/rape threat regardless of making it clear there were no hard feelings, not crossing any boundaries as far as I could tell. So not given up exactly,  but someone would have to seem interested me before I'd be willing to risk that again, and that's incredibly unlikely.

Women generally have good instincts.

Although I don't expect anything to do be done about it, personal attacks and obvious trolling of other members isn't allowed here.

Trolling now is offering opinions on members who frequently post in the same topics about the same subjects?
Funny, didn't you yourself say this was an open forum last we talked, where we were both allowed to voice our opinions without fear of the other?

Exactly.
You should utilize your ignore feature better.
I actually took you off mine. Your posts are quite entertaining.

Don't logic very well do you. Trolling is exactly what you're doing (provoking sarcastic remarks directed at particular people). Like the last sentence. "Offering opinions" in the form of personal attacks isn't allowed.  Members were banned in the past for that.   The ignore function is so I don't have to see your obnoxious posts everywhere,  it doesn't mean you get a free pass for any of the above.

 

[Enpatsu No Shakugan]

Every time I've shown interest in women I've been made to feel like some sort of harassment/rape threat regardless of making it clear there were no hard feelings, not crossing any boundaries as far as I could tell. So not given up exactly,  but someone would have to seem interested me before I'd be willing to risk that again, and that's incredibly unlikely.

Women generally have good instincts.

Although I don't expect anything to do be done about it, personal attacks and obvious trolling of other members isn't allowed here.

Trolling now is offering opinions on members who frequently post in the same topics about the same subjects?
Funny, didn't you yourself say this was an open forum last we talked, where we were both allowed to voice our opinions without fear of the other?

Exactly.
You should utilize your ignore feature better.
I actually took you off mine. Your posts are quite entertaining.

Don't logic very well do you. Trolling is exactly what you're doing (provoking, personal attacks,  sarcastic remarks directed at particular people). Like the last sentence. "Offering opinions" in the form of personal attacks isn't allowed.  Members were banned in the past for that.   The ignore function is so I don't have to see your obnoxious posts everywhere,  it doesn't mean you get a free pass for any of the above.

You and I both kinda ask for it with how strong our opinions can come off, so of course we're going to butt heads, hard. But whatever, it's really not worth my time or yours and is fruitless in the end.

And the reason I added you to ignore is to not see your own opinions and mindset (especially in regard to relationships and women) that really make me sick. So, let's both utilize the feature better from now on.

 

[TheRealCallie]

BACK ON TOPIC.....

I've been in relationships that were love twice in my life. While I'm not interested in dating right now or in the near future, I haven't given up and I do think I can find someone else to love when I choose to start dating again. I am also not afraid to make the first move, but I do think there is someone out there for everyone.

 

[Lonewolf33]

I’ve completely given up won’t happen for me

 

[Siku]

I don't know if it'll change but as of right now; My experiences has lead me to the conclusion that I'm incapable of handling break-ups and I love entirely too hard once those floodgates open. Very much so that I end up hurting those around me in the process whenever I yo-yo.

I try to steer clear now because I'm done hurting myself and most importantly hurting people I care about during my 'broken' outbursts. That being said, please forgive me (you know who you are...).

 

[TheSkaFish]

I chose "I've sort of have, I'm just waiting for someone to make a move on me."

But that doesn't quite say it, either. I don't think I'll ever give up on wanting a girlfriend until it happens, but at the same time, I really don't know when, or if, or what I'd even have to do in order to make it happen. I'm not so much waiting for someone to make a move on me, as I am trying to figure out how I can be attractive, and then hoping, wishing, and praying that someday, someone finally thinks I'm good enough. But I'm getting very tired, and while my hope never quite reaches zero, for every year I'm still single, it gets smaller and smaller and harder and harder to keep alive. I haven't closed off the possibility that it will happen somehow, some way. But I really don't see how. Anyone I thought was cool, I wasn't cool enough for. And the ones that are left, they're just not anybody that I'm compelled to get to know. I feel like I'm broken down by the side of the road, and there's also no more road to go down.

I've spent a lot of time thinking over these past years trying to figure out how I got here. I've had absolutely zero luck with women, and I think it's because I've never had power. I never had power because I'm not physically big and strong, I'm not rich, I don't know how to swing the crowd to my side, I'm not really good at anything nor do I know if I even could be, and I don't have the aggressive, competitive, cunning, macho, smug, cocky, hierarchical, Darwinistic, antagonistic personality, or a dark, brooding, dangerous, rebellious personality, or the witty, sarcastic smartass personality. I was never "cool", and it wasn't even an option for me. I just liked what I liked, did my own thing, followed the advice of "be myself" and it led to this. But I don't know how to get out. Like I said, I couldn't be "cool" even if I wanted to.

I'm also not good at first impressions. I'm not the kind of person who can read people quickly and adapt myself to them, and I find that I'm not good at quick thinking in general. So meeting someone in bars is not good for me. Even when I have longer to plan, eh, I don't know. I just don't know the right things to say to make the right impression, even with people who like the same interests as me. I think it's, again, because I don't project power, confidence, masculinity. A big thing seems to be flirting, teasing, witty banter. But not only do I not know how to do it, but also, I'm not interested in it. I don't have this innate desire to be socially dominant. It's not "me", and I really wish we could stop being so hierarchical altogether.

Yes.

I am pretty much a life-long femcel, but without the harbored resentment.

I know I have a lot to work on before I can even think of sharing a life with someone else, and I don’t want a co-dependent relationship, or have to feel like I need someone else to complete me.

But sometimes it’s like damn: there has to be somebody out there. But maybe not, you know? Maybe some folks are just destined to stand alone. Lord knows I deserve it.

I do feel resentment, I just feel like, why the hell is this how it is for me? I feel like I was somehow chosen for misery, either by fate, or genetics, or bad luck, or something. I've always felt like I wasn't one of the lucky ones, the special people.

If the problem is that I'm not good at anything or don't know enough interesting things or don't have enough hobbies or aren't in shape, or otherwise aren't working on my life enough, well, a lot of guys aren't doing any of that either, but they manage to get someone just fine. I don't see why they deserve someone and I don't, especially cause some of them aren't that great of people. But I guess them being witty or "dangerous" or whatever makes up for it.

I feel like I have a hard time articulating my desire for a romantic relationship. People think that for me, it's codependence. But I see it as the fact that this is something that I really, really don't want to miss out on.

The last part, I feel that too. Some days I think to myself that same thing - "damn: there has to be somebody out there". But I'm also afraid that I'm destined to stand alone, and it's out of my hands. I'm getting more afraid that I'll never figure it out all the time, or afraid that I just wasn't born with enough of the right stuff and it's impossible for me to self-improve to the level where I'd be good enough, or it's just that my luck is and will always be ******. I wish there was something I could do, but most of the time, I don't feel like it. Nothing seems to work except being a person that I'm not, and having a personality that I don't.

 

[Naizo]

As far as me not wanting to be with anyone because everytime I hear about some boyfriend from a female friend of mine it's her going off about how he was a few minutes late, didn't tell her exactly where he was at all times, etc. Yea I've given up on that ****. I generally make a point to tell her that she makes me glad I'm single because of it, too.

That's not exactly love, regardless, in my opinion. It's slavery.

If your girl can't get on your phone and be chill if you looked at porn or some ****, then why are you with an Ice Queen?
If your girl didn't look at porn herself, why are you with an Ice Queen?

 

[Enpatsu No Shakugan]

As far as me not wanting to be with anyone because everytime I hear about some boyfriend from a female friend of mine it's her going off about how he was a few minutes late, didn't tell her exactly where he was at all times, etc. Yea I've given up on that ****. I generally make a point to tell her that she makes me glad I'm single because of it, too.

That's not exactly love, regardless, in my opinion. It's slavery.

If your girl can't get on your phone and be chill if you looked at porn or some ****, then why are you with an Ice Queen?
If your girl didn't look at porn herself, why are you with an Ice Queen?

Sadly, it's not even a gender exclusive problem. There are lots of men equally as controlling to their women from every reason to a controlling personality to just excessive paranoia.

It makes me wonder how two people like that would work together. Would they compliment each other's paranoia or was it more about control all along, thus rendering it entirely incompatible?


My guess for why people actually wind up with someone like that is that the side to them that is that doesn't rear up until they're already in said relationship. Because I doubt most would want anything to do with someone who came across that controlling or distrustful from the get-go.