Why are you lonely???

[It's me Rob]

I'm lonely because I've been married 27yrs. I'm a singer and I get propositioned all the time by women who could be my granddaughters. I've never cheated. I'm questioning that. My wife has ZERO interest in me.

 

[FremieHere]

I'm lonely because I have no one. I can't and don't trust my family. Any friendship I had only lasts about 4 months before they start to avoid me or get taken away by life. Now I don't even know how to make friends or what friendship even means. Now I just expect everyone to leave me which makes accepting friendships hard.

 

[Bratwurst0516]

I'm lonely. Because, Of the four 'relationships' over the the past 34yrs., none has 'basically' lasted more than five years.

1. Marriage-The marriage separation was my (ex)wife's doing at 4.75yrs. But she begged me not to divorce her. Then had a crying fit when it was finalized after 8yrs. of marriage.
2. 1st Engagement-While she was great for my physical health. She was brutal when it came to my emotional health. That ended in a breakup she initiated. She had Bipolar(II) Disorder.
3. 2nd Engagement-She gave me a lot, except being together. She kept making promises about being together. That ended in a breakup, she initiated. She had OCD
4. 'Its Complicated'-We had already known each other 6yrs., when I decided to ask her in 2016, if I could visit. I saw her again in 2017 n' 2018. Sadly, Because of Covid-19 restrictions on travel, I never saw her again. We were attracted to each other. But were not 'official'. That ended, when she died two month's ago. I began to realize how much I loved her. Now I cry almost daily.

 

[SherryGee]

I am deaf so I cannot get involved in conversations like hearing people can and I tend to miss out alot. Its frustrating for everybody.
So hopefully one day they invent a special subtitles glasses and I wouldn't miss out.

 

[suman.1407]

For me, I have always been lonely, even as a child because I came from a very toxic, disgusting, rotten, putrid family. It was dog eat dog in my family. I was the youngest and there was really no one around my age in the family. I come from a family where everybody just put one another down. My father was an alcoholic that it affected his life until the day he died. In the end he died a dry drunk that it affected his life physically, mentally and financially. My mother was the hysterical victim in every phase of her life who never did anything to try to improve it. I always said the mental abuse was far more damaging than any physical abuse and my father seriously messed my sisters up mentally.

I learned at a very young age to grow thick skin and learned and knew how to take the abuse because I grew with the mentality, “everybody takes a beating in life“. There are many people that know the disgusting family I came from and they all say, “how did you turn out okay”, if they only knew. Yes, they all see that I turned out okay and made a life for myself.

You could ask me to name a happy memory from my life and I cannot name one but yet I can name all the negative nasty memories growing up. We could sit for the rest of our lives and I could tell you stories about my family and I still wouldn’t be done.

I always craved family. I always craved being close with someone. I never had a close sibling. I never had a close friend to confide in. I could be very loyal and trusting but I never had that in return. I was pretty much always a loner and just kept to myself all my life. Put it this way, I always from a young age had it in my head, “In the end, family and friends only let you down“. Today, I still keep to myself because I don’t want to be let down. I don’t trust anyone, I don’t believe anyone and I will be the first to say that’s sad. People come to me when they want some thing but once they get what they want I don’t hear from them again so I stopped doing for others.

I was on my own from a very young age. All of my family has died off. It angers me that I find enjoyment knowing that they are all dead.

Now, that we are in November people are already talking about getting together with their families for the holidays and to this day, I still get jealous hearing about that they are getting together with their family for the holidays. I get jealous when someone could be telling a story that they spent the weekend with their brother and it was the greatest weekend. I remember one time sitting and talking with my ex brother-in-law and he was telling stories of his father and how close they were, he was adopted and as my brother-in-law told the stories I could feel the jealousy burning inside me because I never knew what that was like.

I always thought of how cool it could be and feel to have even just one person that would call me and I always didn’t have to call them just to check on my day and even just sit on the phone and not have nothing to say, just talk about stupidness.

It’s just my wife and kids and I here in NJ as my whole side of the family is all long dead and gone. My wife’s side of the family is scattered throughout the world with none here in NJ so it’s not like we can just all get together for a family dinner. My wife could be talking about her family growing up and I sit there in amazement because of how close her family is. When we went to Philippines throughout the years to visit her family I would just sit and watch her interact with her family and I was dumbfounded and couldn’t believe how close she was with them because I don’t know what that’s like.

i’m not the most fun guy in the world because I don’t have many hobbies or things that entertain me but I’m the type, I could just sit out back and shoot the **** if you know what I mean.

I make it harder for myself now because I have MS multiple sclerosis so I have difficulty walking at times so I spend a lot of time at home now. I can’t do what the average person can do physically. I never know how I’m going to feel from one minute to the next because the exhaustion is physically draining and there were times I have no strength, it takes a toll on you mentally at times.

That’s what makes me lonely!

For me, I have always been lonely, even as a child because I came from a very toxic, disgusting, rotten, putrid family. It was dog eat dog in my family. I was the youngest and there was really no one around my age in the family. I come from a family where everybody just put one another down. My father was an alcoholic that it affected his life until the day he died. In the end he died a dry drunk that it affected his life physically, mentally and financially. My mother was the hysterical victim in every phase of her life who never did anything to try to improve it. I always said the mental abuse was far more damaging than any physical abuse and my father seriously messed my sisters up mentally.

I learned at a very young age to grow thick skin and learned and knew how to take the abuse because I grew with the mentality, “everybody takes a beating in life“. There are many people that know the disgusting family I came from and they all say, “how did you turn out okay”, if they only knew. Yes, they all see that I turned out okay and made a life for myself.

You could ask me to name a happy memory from my life and I cannot name one but yet I can name all the negative nasty memories growing up. We could sit for the rest of our lives and I could tell you stories about my family and I still wouldn’t be done.

I always craved family. I always craved being close with someone. I never had a close sibling. I never had a close friend to confide in. I could be very loyal and trusting but I never had that in return. I was pretty much always a loner and just kept to myself all my life. Put it this way, I always from a young age had it in my head, “In the end, family and friends only let you down“. Today, I still keep to myself because I don’t want to be let down. I don’t trust anyone, I don’t believe anyone and I will be the first to say that’s sad. People come to me when they want some thing but once they get what they want I don’t hear from them again so I stopped doing for others.

I was on my own from a very young age. All of my family has died off. It angers me that I find enjoyment knowing that they are all dead.

Now, that we are in November people are already talking about getting together with their families for the holidays and to this day, I still get jealous hearing about that they are getting together with their family for the holidays. I get jealous when someone could be telling a story that they spent the weekend with their brother and it was the greatest weekend. I remember one time sitting and talking with my ex brother-in-law and he was telling stories of his father and how close they were, he was adopted and as my brother-in-law told the stories I could feel the jealousy burning inside me because I never knew what that was like.

I always thought of how cool it could be and feel to have even just one person that would call me and I always didn’t have to call them just to check on my day and even just sit on the phone and not have nothing to say, just talk about stupidness.

It’s just my wife and kids and I here in NJ as my whole side of the family is all long dead and gone. My wife’s side of the family is scattered throughout the world with none here in NJ so it’s not like we can just all get together for a family dinner. My wife could be talking about her family growing up and I sit there in amazement because of how close her family is. When we went to Philippines throughout the years to visit her family I would just sit and watch her interact with her family and I was dumbfounded and couldn’t believe how close she was with them because I don’t know what that’s like.

i’m not the most fun guy in the world because I don’t have many hobbies or things that entertain me but I’m the type, I could just sit out back and shoot the **** if you know what I mean.

I make it harder for myself now because I have MS multiple sclerosis so I have difficulty walking at times so I spend a lot of time at home now. I can’t do what the average person can do physically. I never know how I’m going to feel from one minute to the next because the exhaustion is physically draining and there were times I have no strength, it takes a toll on you mentally at times.

That’s what makes me lonely!

Your summary really broke my heart for the simple reason that inspite of having the most loving family,I still ended up not making much of my life. Now as 35 year old,I don’t have pretty much anyone who I can call as a friend . I may have been a jerk to ppl in my growing up years but I was always giving to my friends. As I grew up I became more and more generous to friends but eventually I was abandoned by everyone. Like you,These experiences has left me with an attitude where I’ll never be able to trust anyone.

 

[suman.1407]

I'm lonely. Because, Of the four 'relationships' over the the past 34yrs., none has 'basically' lasted more than five years.

1. Marriage-The marriage separation was my (ex)wife's doing at 4.75yrs. But she begged me not to divorce her. Then had a crying fit when it was finalized after 8yrs. of marriage.
2. 1st Engagement-While she was great for my physical health. She was brutal when it came to my emotional health. That ended in a breakup she initiated. She had Bipolar(II) Disorder.
3. 2nd Engagement-She gave me a lot, except being together. She kept making promises about being together. That ended in a breakup, she initiated. She had OCD
4. 'Its Complicated'-We had already known each other 6yrs., when I decided to ask her in 2016, if I could visit. I saw her again in 2017 n' 2018. Sadly, Because of Covid-19 restrictions on travel, I never saw her again. We were attracted to each other. But were not 'official'. That ended, when she died two month's ago. I began to realize how much I loved her. Now I cry almost daily.

Really sad . I hope you get someone in the future who’ll end up becoming your true soul mate

 

[Bratwurst0516]

Really sad . I hope you get someone in the future who’ll end up becoming your true soul mate

With my (chronic/incurable)physical health, that becomes a problem. Because, They can't cope.

 

[youcouldnevertell]

too boring for others, nothing in common with anyone, don't fit in anywhere

 

[TheSkaFish]

too boring for others, nothing in common with anyone, don't fit in anywhere

I relate to that all too well. It's been the story of my life.

 

[Adamridge79]

I'm lonely because I realized I was. I have family so I'm not alone. But there are areas of your life that you just can't share. I think a friend might, maybe, possibly be a good first step. I have a much better understanding of my worth, and I know more clearly my issues. The fact that people reply to me, or at me at the least, seems promising, so I guess I'll see how I interact.

 

[Diddiot]

I relate to that all too well. It's been the story of my life.

I can completely relate too. I don't feel the need to be at every night out, calling people all the time and living in that social bubble. The thought of it actually makes me anxious. If you're not there though, people just forget about you.

 

[Diddiot]

I'm lonely because you have to be more available to others than I have the energy for to be considered a friend. I don't do small talk, I don't do gossip but I'll have a proper conversation with anyone. Alot of people aren't comfortable with that. I don't like going out getting drunk and if you don't go all the time, people forget about you. Over the past couple of years I've thought I'd made "friends" at work but since recently leaving (them and me) it turns out they weren't actually friends: there's nothing more upsetting thinking you have a friend that doesn't think of or treat you that way. It makes you stop trying. I come from a small family who remain close and I'm happily married but no close friends. I'm tired of reaching out.

 

[Lifeforall]

I used to be lonely but ever since I ditched self hatred things have gotten better. I still get existential crisis now and then especially when I'm bored. But listening to music helps me a lot especially soothing music. Rn I'm sitting at the front of my house, it's about 7 pm writing this. What does bother me now is when my mind questions what's reality because recently I was on drugs and saw all kinds of weird stuff. But remembering that people out there feel pain helps me know what's real.

So, why are you lonely and how can I help????

We should understand, why the peoples are remain alone in this huge world. The only secret that we are not following the nature. If we follow the nature we will never be alone.

 

[Lemonbalm]

I'm not alone, but I am lonely. I have a husband, but he's too wrapped up in work and his own interests to even notice I'm there most of the time. We hardly have any conversation, and haven't been close physically for years. I also have a grown up daughter, but she left home a few months ago. I speak to her briefly most days, but she's busy with work and other stuff. I no longer have any friends - the ones I had gradually disappeared a few years ago when I started to have health problems, and wasn't able to go out with them and do fun stuff anymore. I guess when life gets difficult you discover who your real friends are. It hurt to discover that my friends weren't real.

 

[xxReidxx]

We are social creatures. That loneliness makes us search out others, relationships. The premise is we are stronger in groups. Evolution developed the group mentality long ago. It was those people that survived to pass that need onto their offspring. Those that lacked the need of a group were at greater risk and likely didn't survive.

Lonely is what we feel when our group is too small or missing. Or perhaps our group isn't giving us what it is we need. Just because you are with a group of people doesn't mean that they are not destructive to you.

Lonely tells us we need something more.

that is one perspective. Christianity gives us the Trinity as a perfect group example which could explain why people made in God's image are also social creatures.

 

[Colster]

Ceased to trust people, and have grown extremely frustrated by the opinions and actions of people within both my networks and immediate community.

 

[Finished]

I'm lonely because I've been married 27yrs. I'm a singer and I get propositioned all the time by women who could be my granddaughters. I've never cheated. I'm questioning that. My wife has ZERO interest in me.

That's a tough situation to be in. Do you have an interest in your wife?

 

[Finished]

I'm lonely because it's about the only thing that I can't solve by myself.

 

[user15010]

Because I don't mind and I'm good at it.

 

[idaniel]

I'm lonely because of life circumstances. Friends drift apart the older we get. My partner left years ago, and that hit me hard. A death in the family, a friend died, and a chronic illness sealed the deal and put me in a bad state. There's more, but right now I am trying to fix things. I'm optimistic.