Women...Please Help!

[SimonT]

I don't know what is wrong with me. I have no friends, and no woman in my life and don't know why. The friends thing isn't good, but really it's the woman thing I wanna sort out. I attend college 3 days a week, but being 37, all the women there are too young. Apart from teachers (who you can't have a relationship with anyway coz it's not allowed), 80% of college attenders are between 16 and 20, apart from the very occasional girl, but then I either don't fancy them or don't know what to say to them.

I don't know what do. I feel so depressed and lonely I can't tell you. Well I can, coz I am now lol! I don't feel like I connect or have anything in common with people. I don't click if you know what I mean. I'm not into sports (apart from Snooker, a very male orientated sport), I'm not into computer games, don't drink, and don't really go pubs or clubs. Not into cars or theatre. Dunno, I like watching the tele, music (playing guitar and writing/producing - which is what I'm doing at college) and like watching the occasional film and cooking, and surfing the web.

I seem to spend my life (when I'm not at college) just either in the supermarket buying a few things for tea, riding busses, sittin' in McDonalds drinking the odd coffee or simply just sitting in my flat watching tele or on my computer just lonely, bored and depressed, and writing daft messages like this.

I've tried sending online messages on free dating sites, and NEVER get a reply.

I have recently worked for 11 weeks, and things were the same before I worked as now, but my spirit was miles better when I was working, but again, made no friends there or connected with anyone. It was weird, I can't explain how unpleasant it was. Everybody got on famously with each other and I was like just standing in the middle getting on with my work. There were about 50 employees where I worked as well, roughly equally men and women, and didn't make friends with anyone. I put it down again, due to 90% of'em being 17-23, young again. There was 2 guys 30 and a girl 26.

Anyway, dunno what to do, why do I have nothing in common with anyone or make friends with people, it's weird. I think I'm weird. I feel like I exist really and don't live. I feel alone and that I'm never gonna meet anyone. I see girls I fancy everywhere I go, and it's so frustrating, I just haven't got a clue what to say to them. I feel every part of me going, "Just say something, anything, try and get some conversation or connection going with her, just try, just do it" but something stops me, is it confidence or what? I find I just don't know know what to say or do. I think I need a personality transplant lol!

Also, to any women reading this, what can I say to a nice looking woman I see on the bus or in McDonalds, I seriously need some love in my life, and like yesterday, lol! And would you think it's creepy, a random starnger tryna start a conversation with you on the bus or whatever?

 

[SofiasMami]

Hi,
Random strangers have approached me on occasion and I was pleasantly surprised but I didn't think it was creepy. The truth is, many other people are lonely too and don't live massively exciting lives and wouldn't mind a few friendly words with another human being.
I found a note on my car once after going for a walk in a park. It took me 2-3 days to get the guts to call him lol.
I guess there's no magic, special place to meet women your age. I know that's true for women my age too. I've even said that a few times to friends recently. I've just been trying to brush up my social skills and to appear more approachable. For some reason, I always meet friendly people at the local art museum (I have a membership & go all the time) and we can always talk about the art.
I think if you practice your skills and take some chances, you'll widen your personal group of friends - and you never know, that 23 year old classmate might have a sister your age who waiting to meet someone like you

-Teresa

 

[Peaches]

I hope this is not spam, I just love this book :

http://www.amazon.com/Guerrilla-Dating-Tactics-Strategies-Secrets/dp/0452280117

with non creepy tactics to talk with strangers

actually, now I will go read it again

personally i would concentrate first on making new friends, but for some, friends are not as important as a relationship

 

[Juels000]

I had the same problem when I went to college, I was the only female in the class (as i did computer programming) and I was the oldest and even though I relate to youngsters very well I was left alone as they had their own group of friends which they obviously had from school, no one wanted to talk to the old woman sat in the corner and I couldn't break the silence so I ended up packing it in. I have learn't that love and relationships are not something you can just go out and find, but if you are not looking it usually finds you. It is difficult when you do not drink etc as most peoples social lives revolve around alcohol, I have the same issue I do not drink or smoke and hate night clubs and pubs so this does limit my social activities some what.

The key is to not look desperate (not that i'm saying you do) but I know from past experience that if you keep looking for it you can either attract the wrong sort of people or you can have the air of desperation about you. Its all about confidence, do what you love to do and stop looking for someone, when you can do this then someone will find you, believe me it works. Don't be too willing to hand over your phone number, don't be too keen to reply to a text straight away if you do hand over your number its things like this that will attract the right sort of person and one that doesn't think you are coming on too strong. Be yourself and be confident and remember no one is perfect and we are all a little weird in our own way. And no its not creepy to chat to people, sense of humor is always a plus as well, compliment them, but not in a creepy way ...lol

If you do meet someone you really like and you have chatted for a while then ask her out for a meal or to the movies just go out and have a laugh and do not read to much into it and let it progress in its own time do not rush it. Confidence I can't emphasis it enough, Im hearing you say but I have no confidence, ask at college if they have a confidence building class, or may be try and find one in your local town, research it, do what ever you can to try and build that confidence. If life isn't working then change it, it doesn't have to be huge steps just baby steps but set yourself goals to improve your confidence and it will pay off in the end.

Message me if you want to chat may be i can help or may be not

 

[Drama]

Random conversations are always a good exercise to strengthen your confidence. Some womn really feel like you need them and i think it is a put off for some. Just be nature and try to talk to women as someone who likes to make new friends rather than someone who desperetly needs them.
Good luck

 

[ChocolateMountain]

I had the same problem when I went to college, I was the only female in the class (as i did computer programming) and I was the oldest and even though I relate to youngsters very well I was left alone as they had their own group of friends which they obviously had from school, no one wanted to talk to the old woman sat in the corner and I couldn't break the silence so I ended up packing it in. I have learn't that love and relationships are not something you can just go out and find, but if you are not looking it usually finds you. It is difficult when you do not drink etc as most peoples social lives revolve around alcohol, I have the same issue I do not drink or smoke and hate night clubs and pubs so this does limit my social activities some what.

The key is to not look desperate (not that i'm saying you do) but I know from past experience that if you keep looking for it you can either attract the wrong sort of people or you can have the air of desperation about you. Its all about confidence, do what you love to do and stop looking for someone, when you can do this then someone will find you, believe me it works. Don't be too willing to hand over your phone number, don't be too keen to reply to a text straight away if you do hand over your number its things like this that will attract the right sort of person and one that doesn't think you are coming on too strong. Be yourself and be confident and remember no one is perfect and we are all a little weird in our own way. And no its not creepy to chat to people, sense of humor is always a plus as well, compliment them, but not in a creepy way ...lol

If you do meet someone you really like and you have chatted for a while then ask her out for a meal or to the movies just go out and have a laugh and do not read to much into it and let it progress in its own time do not rush it. Confidence I can't emphasis it enough, Im hearing you say but I have no confidence, ask at college if they have a confidence building class, or may be try and find one in your local town, research it, do what ever you can to try and build that confidence. If life isn't working then change it, it doesn't have to be huge steps just baby steps but set yourself goals to improve your confidence and it will pay off in the end.

Message me if you want to chat may be i can help or may be not

Are you still in the same class with those youngsters? It sounds really f*cked up though, although I can relate, in middle school, lol. Not that I was bad at school or something but I was 17/18 when those puppies were 15/16.. People tend to look really weird at you, like "omgawdz!!1! you olddd 'n here??1!1!!" I became so depressed by it, that I had to left school, but that's a different story. But I also had the experiences of being one of the youngest in the class. I failed that class & left that school as well... 50% stupid decisions & 50% subconciously on purpose..I have been to so many schools, lol..

Although my story is ****** up, I do hope that you graduate or whatever, lol.