Would you date a man in his 30's who has never had a girlfriend?

[Jim19-79]

Hello all

Well I think you can guess what this thread is going to be about cant you.

I live in the UK near London, a city full of single people, but I cant seem to meet any!

I am 33, pretty average looking I think (I hope!), educated, decent job, you know the usual I suppose. But I have never had a girlfriend, which is less usual.

It can be a bit depressing at times, as I would like a family one day. In the more immediate term, it would be good fun just to be able to do things with someone. I try and get to the cinema, theatre and stuff as often as I can but it would just be nice to share those things with someone.

Living in London (moved here 4 months ago) can be a challenge. I moved down for a new job and have made friends at work, but they all live across the region and most have kids so don't really socialise outside of work, so not much opportunity to meet people. I have tired internet dating, but without much success, I like them, or they like me but never seems to be at the same time!

It never used to worry me too much about always being single, I focused on my education and career and told myself it would sort it self out one day. Now I am less sure!

My question to the forum is - girls would you ever consider someone like me or avoid like the plaque, and guys anyone in a similar position?

 

[Kat]

I wouldn't reject someone just because they never had a girlfriend before

 

[Barbaloot]

I would, but I have a creepy fetish for that sort of thing.

 

[IgnoredOne]

It /can/ be harder, because you give off the potential vibe of "Well, he's never had a girlfriend before...is there something wrong with him?"

But if you indicate that it was because you were focused on your career and school, I don't think that will be an issue at all.

 

[Okiedokes]

Yep... I think the two ppl I did date in my entire life had little to no experience.

 

[Walley]

short answer. No.
but thats just cause i'm a guy ;p

 

[Tealeaf]

I like them, or they like me but never seems to be at the same time!

You answered your own question, unless they have no idea that you haven't dated before and you're worried about being "found out," or there's something special about girls on this forum...

Personally, I'd wonder how he got to that age without ever being in a relationship and if it's something I should be worried about. If it was just anxiety issues or such, then I don't think it would matter.

 

[EveWasFramed]

I would. Well, if I was younger I would, lol.

 

[ardour]

It /can/ be harder, because you give off the potential vibe of "Well, he's never had a girlfriend before...is there something wrong with him?"

This is what he's afraid of. No doubt some women will be put off.

The OP could say he never had a "serious" relationship, in other words lie.
Perhaps straight up honesty is better though. If he appears ashamed or tries to hide it then that's likely to send the message that there is something wrong.

 

[nerdygirl]

I think that IgnoredOne was saying it depends on how that message is conveyed. It could come out as, "I've been focused on other priorities." That makes a person sound mature and responsible. It could also come out as, "Nobody wanted me." That would seem creepy.

 

[Light My Fire]

Yes, as long as the person is right for me in the ways that I feel is important, dating history would not be important to me.

If you are conscious about this, however, you can always keep it to yourself and see how the relationship unfolds and share when the opportunity presents itself. It is similar to someone sharing their sexual history (i.e. most people would not declare or deny their virginity when starting a relationship).

 

[KingsAgain]

Two things I'd advise you on:
1) Never EVER tell a girl you've never been in a relationship, since she will start asking herself questions. If she asks about your history, tell her you'd rather not discuss it. The downside to that is that she'll eventually notice you've never been in a relationship before, but that's fine -- with practice and advice, you'll get things right.
2) Practice dating, even if you're not interested in the girl. Just don't lead her on or say things you don't mean. It will help you when the girl you're interested in comes along.

 

[Tiina63]

In itself it would not put me off if a man told me he had never had a relationship. I would ask why, though, as it is unusual. I think that, as Ignored One says, you could say that you have focused on your education and career to this point.

 

[Susana]

Hello all

Well I think you can guess what this thread is going to be about cant you.

I live in the UK near London, a city full of single people, but I cant seem to meet any!

I am 33, pretty average looking I think (I hope!), educated, decent job, you know the usual I suppose. But I have never had a girlfriend, which is less usual.

It can be a bit depressing at times, as I would like a family one day. In the more immediate term, it would be good fun just to be able to do things with someone. I try and get to the cinema, theatre and stuff as often as I can but it would just be nice to share those things with someone.

Living in London (moved here 4 months ago) can be a challenge. I moved down for a new job and have made friends at work, but they all live across the region and most have kids so don't really socialise outside of work, so not much opportunity to meet people. I have tired internet dating, but without much success, I like them, or they like me but never seems to be at the same time!

It never used to worry me too much about always being single, I focused on my education and career and told myself it would sort it self out one day. Now I am less sure!

My question to the forum is - girls would you ever consider someone like me or avoid like the plaque, and guys anyone in a similar position?

Gosh being that age and never had a girlfriend?? It's a tricky one. Being a girl, I think I would ask the question why? I mean, I studied for 8 years non stop but still had a boyfriend and then a husband. It did not stop me from having a boyfriend. So why were you not interested in dating while you were studying???

 

[BrokenInside]

Yes, why not!

 

[wedge]

Hello all

Well I think you can guess what this thread is going to be about cant you.

I live in the UK near London, a city full of single people, but I cant seem to meet any!

I am 33, pretty average looking I think (I hope!), educated, decent job, you know the usual I suppose. But I have never had a girlfriend, which is less usual.

It can be a bit depressing at times, as I would like a family one day. In the more immediate term, it would be good fun just to be able to do things with someone. I try and get to the cinema, theatre and stuff as often as I can but it would just be nice to share those things with someone.

Living in London (moved here 4 months ago) can be a challenge. I moved down for a new job and have made friends at work, but they all live across the region and most have kids so don't really socialise outside of work, so not much opportunity to meet people. I have tired internet dating, but without much success, I like them, or they like me but never seems to be at the same time!

It never used to worry me too much about always being single, I focused on my education and career and told myself it would sort it self out one day. Now I am less sure!

My question to the forum is - girls would you ever consider someone like me or avoid like the plaque, and guys anyone in a similar position?

how many women have you asked out ?

 

[AFrozenSoul]

Question, what makes you think that anyone on a forum like this will tell you the truth? Seriously, why would anyone on a forum dedicated to comforting losers like us tell you the truth. That women will either see you as a mark or as a tool?

 

[IgnoredOne]

Question, what makes you think that anyone on a forum like this will tell you the truth? Seriously, why would anyone on a forum dedicated to comforting losers like us tell you the truth. That women will either see you as a mark or as a tool?

Have no reason to lie.

 

[roguewave]

You might attract girls who are waiting for "the one", due to religious or personal convictions. Usually religious.
She might try to convert you, though. I've seen it happen.

 

[ardour]

Question, what makes you think that anyone on a forum like this will tell you the truth? Seriously, why would anyone on a forum dedicated to comforting losers like us tell you the truth.

Sugar-coating and emphasing the positive, probably, but not outright lies.
Do you think people would bother posting completely dishonest responses?