Xmas 2011

[ghsu1991]

Never though I'd be lonely, but apparently, I am totally alone and feeling seriously lonely. I came across this website due to my endless loneliness for Christmas. I just want to share something with some of you guys. Why I became lonely day by day?? Because I dream all the time, is that a bad thing? Can be and may not necessarily be. I moved back to the states for my higher education, I should've been studying in one of the Ive Leagues, but because of the distrust between my father and me and all his financial support, i need to surrender and be the place where he picked. I have eating disorder and I moved to a place with no entertainment suits my style, I became depressed, more troubled by eating disorder. I even once started to question my sex orientation, all in all, I feel extremely lonely everyday, the problem is not lack of friends or social life but lack of the opportunities for me to execute my life plan. I packed all my fancy clothes and started to wear sweat pants and shirts all day long. I locked my inspiration and hope one day I can get my bachelor degree and get out. Until today, I am still confused by all the decisions that I made for fitting in the life here. AND I know somewhere in my heart, something creams all the time.I dont know if anyone have watched the movie Hugo by Martin Scorsese, but the movie kinda gave me a key to find out why there is screaming in my heart. I feel lonely or you feel lonely, may not be the faults of lack of friends but actually miscommunication with ourselves. If I can really stand out to be myself, i will feel comfortable and eventually happy, but It can be a long journey for me. Merry Christmas to y'all.

 

[ZENX49]

Let me just say I hope the best for your endeavors. I don't know what it's worth, offering an ear to lend to your experiences or to just understand what you're going through. At least try... I dunno. I'm in a dark corner not of my own choosing, so it's not like I'm some huge, shining, success story brimming to get out and shed some glorious light on the unfortunate. But the least I can do is not sin myself and feel pity only for me. If you ever get to read this, I invite you at any point to talk with me or anyone who you feel alright to.

Easier said than done admittedly, let's try to not compartmentalize ourselves and try to find something to talk about about, even if it's just escapisms and dreams.