You ever felt so lonely that you cried?

[nimblybimbly9]

I totally relate to all of this,,,,,,,

I like small spaces so I can hide and cry on my own,,,,,,,,,,,I put so many fake faces on ,sometimes daily.......I dont want people involved in me having a hard core crying session,,,,,,,,,i feel like people just really do not care, i get tired of hearing how we all have issues, how life is not fair,,,,,,,,i just get tired of feeling so lonely, and so scared, and not knowing where to turn, and then some days my mind tells me there is no escape,,,,,,,there is no answer, there is no peace, no rest....not on this earth anyway....

I do have faith, I do pray,,,,,,,,,I do try,,,,,,,,,,,,what I had in mind for life, and what life or reality really is are so different,,,,,,,,,i dont like to sit around and seem like I am on the pity pot,,,,,,,,,,,,,I have really had a weird journey, nothing has been easy or handed to me,,,,,,,mental illness at 17, shock therapy 2 x, , a sick child i had to put away,,,,,,my twin died, i raised her daughter, now i have chronic pain in back, neck pelvis, hips, knees, elbows and shoulders, i have a horrible digestive disorder,,,,,,,,,,,talk about unfair,,,,,,,,,,,that makes it seem superficial for real,,,and i feel like a huge attention whore and drama queen,,,,,,,,,,,,so i just stuff it down, deep deep down, and try to keep going,,,,some days i am way more successful than other days,,,,,

I'm so sorry, Tammy.  Reading things like this leaves me feeling guilty and ashamed for being the way I am...  Do you have any outlets?

 

[TammyLynn1972]

nimbly bimbly9 ,

please dont ever feel like your journey is less important or meaningful than mine. I have had a lot of loss and pain mental and phsycial, but this is what was laid out for me for whatever reasons, Maybe I could not handle your struggles, and God knew that , so it/he/she gave me these struggles because it knew that these were the virtues I needed to work on while I was on earth,,,,,,,,,,i try to be a positive light in the world,
I love giving things away, I love feeding people, I love trying to get equality and fairness for the under dogs of the world,,,,,,,,,I have given my entire life, and now, besides online, I don't have very many human outlets,

We have 8 pets, 5 cats,,,2 dogs and 1 turtle,,,,,,,,the turtle roams the house when its rainy, and hibernates in a closet in winter,,,,so i talk to them,,,,,,i give them as much love as i want,,,,,,,,if i have a face of tears or a big smile, they love me the same way and include me and interact with me,,,,,I do wish I could hear people talking to me, instead of the tv, that part is hard for me, 
My husband, poor guy,,,,,,,,i know he loves me, but he can only wear so many hats per day,,,i really try hard to pretty up my feelings, and pretend its really not that bad, I am handling things,,,,,,,,,,just for him I feel like I need to do that.
I like crafts, and watching ted talks on youtube, i love different types of music, i like to paint,,,,,,,i like to cook and bake, i am a clothes whore/ shoe and purse whore, lololo, so i spend a lot of time on jc penney and boscovs filling up buggys with whatever i want, i dont buy them, but its like playing dress up ,,kills time,,,thanks for asking about my outlets, i didnt mean to go on and on, but you can see when someone is lonely, sometimes it is hard to just keep it simple



I totally relate to all of this,,,,,,,

I like small spaces so I can hide and cry on my own,,,,,,,,,,,I put so many fake faces on ,sometimes daily.......I dont want people involved in me having a hard core crying session,,,,,,,,,i feel like people just really do not care, i get tired of hearing how we all have issues, how life is not fair,,,,,,,,i just get tired of feeling so lonely, and so scared, and not knowing where to turn, and then some days my mind tells me there is no escape,,,,,,,there is no answer, there is no peace, no rest....not on this earth anyway....

I do have faith, I do pray,,,,,,,,,I do try,,,,,,,,,,,,what I had in mind for life, and what life or reality really is are so different,,,,,,,,,i dont like to sit around and seem like I am on the pity pot,,,,,,,,,,,,,I have really had a weird journey, nothing has been easy or handed to me,,,,,,,mental illness at 17, shock therapy 2 x, , a sick child i had to put away,,,,,,my twin died, i raised her daughter, now i have chronic pain in back, neck pelvis, hips, knees, elbows and shoulders, i have a horrible digestive disorder,,,,,,,,,,,talk about unfair,,,,,,,,,,,that makes it seem superficial for real,,,and i feel like a huge attention whore and drama queen,,,,,,,,,,,,so i just stuff it down, deep deep down, and try to keep going,,,,some days i am way more successful than other days,,,,,

I'm so sorry, Tammy.  Reading things like this leaves me feeling guilty and ashamed for being the way I am...  Do you have any outlets?

 

[TammyLynn1972]

dont watch the elephant man,,,,,,,its the thing that breaks me every time i see it,,,,flood gates will open!!

I agree, it is over rated to cry, and non productive,,,,i never feel better when i am done,,,,,why do people lie so much and say how we need to cry all of the time/???

I cried for 72 hours non stop when I was 16 over a heartbreak. I promised myself I would never cry again, which I broke two years ago for circumstances beyond my control. But the **** is back on now.
Since it doesnt do anything remotely productive, I'm barring it from my life. Unless Im watching Finding Nemo or the president speech in Independance Day.

 

[Miriam1966]

I cry every day. It's partly due to loneliness, partly due to anger and partly due to hurt.

Sometimes it's pure stress release.

I never knew I could shed so many tears in my lifetime.

 

[TammyLynn1972]

I cry every day. It's partly due to loneliness, partly due to anger and partly due to hurt.

Sometimes it's pure stress release.

I never knew I could shed so many tears in my lifetime.

 

[Miriam1966]

I cry every day. It's partly due to loneliness, partly due to anger and partly due to hurt.

Sometimes it's pure stress release.

I never knew I could shed so many tears in my lifetime.

You're very sweet TammyLynn1972, thank you. I hope you have a happy day today too. Though I do admit, I'm already in tears due to hurt and loneliness.

 

[Lonewolf33]

I cried like a baby on my birthday. I just curled up in bed sobbing all night wondering how my life went completely off the rails.

 

[Danielle]

I cry every damn day... not always out of loneliness, but out of stress... and tiredness..

 

[user 139760]

Ironically, I cried yesterday night. I still don't have the slightest idea why, however.
....is it too early for Andropause?

 

[Xpendable]

I hope it doesn't take too long to find my body when I die of old age. Maybe in the future, they have a way of telling.

 

[morrowrd]

I admit I've done it a few times. Just sat by myself somewhere and couldn't hold back the tears. My pathetic levels are too high

Yes I have. I remember being at a very low point while in the army, reflecting on my previous years of high school, being kicked out of my home at 15 and the struggles that followed - feeling very alone in life.  I was an angry young man, angry at god, angry at the world, angry at my parents, and frustrated and angry at myself.  I remember wondering what was wrong with me, and yep I did cry. I wondered why my parents even had me, why did people in the world dislike me, I wondered why women wanted nothing to do with me and if I was going to be forever alone.  

It gets better in time, as you accept who you are and focus on learning life's hard lessons. I almost wrote that my heart hardened but realized that wasn't true.  Maybe desensitized is the better description.  I am 52 now and still estranged from my family - and while it's for the better (estrangements are there sometimes for a good reason), I'd be lying if I didn't admit it does still hurt.  I just married the most beautiful woman I've ever had the privilege of being with - she's downright pretty, and beautiful inside and out. Quiet, shy, introverted (very) and for the first time in my life, I have an ally who understands. She's seen some of what I've talked about in here, the pattern of estrangements between myself and family, and people in general. It's good to have her there as a witness to tell me there's nothing wrong with me - even she doesn't understand.

I've told her I've lived in what I describe as a bubble all my life.  Being in the world, but not a part of it.  An observer more than a participant.  I've felt that way even in relationships, the person I was with was with me, yet still not really.  With her, she opened the door to this bubble and pulled up a chair and sat next to me, and is watching the world the same was as I do.  We've all talked about how much easier it is for shy girls (women) than it is for introverted and shy men.  I've learned alot from being with her, especially about being an introvert - and it isn't easy.  I now feel it's even harder for a shy introverted female, than it is for a man.  Myself, I'm not an introvert, I'm a loner due to being an outcast.   I don't fit in anywhere and when I have tried to fit in, I make enemies.  So I've learned to use boundaries effectively.  She and I, while our reasons for being loners are two very different reasons (everyone likes her, they all hate me), we understand each other.

I don't think I've cried about myself in a long time, but I have and writing this reply I can feel that memory strong.

 

[Itzpjx]

I admit I've done it a few times. Just sat by myself somewhere and couldn't hold back the tears. My pathetic levels are too high

Yes I’m 21 never had a girlfriend relationship or any sexual expirence spdepression really

 

[Azariah]

Men don't cry... unless there's a ninja cutting onions nearby...

nah, but seriously, i've cried before because of loneliness and when i was about to swallow a bottle full of pills :'(

 

[MagicalMaryann]

Yes, ever since I lost my dog I cried for a few months.