Online dating

[African_weasel]

Just let me try out tinder at least!

How thick is your skin?

I haven't tried Tinder, but from what I know it is horrible, perhaps the most shallow dating site available.

I have too much self pity to even care. I just want to try it for one or two goes.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Online dating is my last chance. I just went to two Halloween parties over the weekend and yet again, I didn't meet anyone there that I could see myself wanting to date. So I haven't been meeting anyone through my friends, and I haven't been meeting anyone on my own. I haven't met anyone I have actually wanted to date since 2012. And needless to say it hasn't been going well. I met someone this year who I may have wanted to date, but they didn't stick around long enough for me to really tell.

What I'm really worried about is, what if I make a profile online and still can't find anyone. According to this thread that seems to be a common source of frustration. But for me, there's no place left to go after that. And I don't have any "game", so it helps me greatly to go into a meeting with someone where we both understand beforehand that we are there to try to date. I want to find someone so this really worries me. Right now my only hope is that the ones I want to date break up with who they're with AND I somehow reconnect with them. It's such a long shot. It's too bad I put myself in this situation because I really don't know how I'm going to get out.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Online dating is my last chance. I just went to two Halloween parties over the weekend and yet again, I didn't meet anyone there that I could see myself wanting to date. So I haven't been meeting anyone through my friends, and I haven't been meeting anyone on my own. I haven't met anyone I have actually wanted to date since 2012. And needless to say it hasn't been going well. I met someone this year who I may have wanted to date, but they didn't stick around long enough for me to really tell.

What I'm really worried about is, what if I make a profile online and still can't find anyone. According to this thread that seems to be a common source of frustration. But for me, there's no place left to go after that. And I don't have any "game", so it helps me greatly to go into a meeting with someone where we both understand beforehand that we are there to try to date. I want to find someone so this really worries me. Right now my only hope is that the ones I want to date break up with who they're with AND I somehow reconnect with them. It's such a long shot. It's too bad I put myself in this situation because I really don't know how I'm going to get out.

You DO realize that people change, right? The person you're searching for (and might even someday find if you're fortunate) might not be the same person two or three years from now. People grow and evolve. How will you deal with that?

 

[TheSkaFish]

You DO realize that people change, right? The person you're searching for (and might even someday find if you're fortunate) might not be the same person two or three years from now. People grow and evolve. How will you deal with that?

Absolutely - I know that I'm not the same person I was 15, 10, 8, 5, even 2 years ago.

I don't know how I will deal with it, but it seems that anyone who wants a relationship must. I guess I'd have to keep up somehow. The first hurdle seems to be finding someone in the first place, or changing and hoping I can make myself good enough for those other girls. Either one seems to be a tall order.

 

[African_weasel]

You DO realize that people change, right? The person you're searching for (and might even someday find if you're fortunate) might not be the same person two or three years from now. People grow and evolve. How will you deal with that?

Absolutely - I know that I'm not the same person I was 15, 10, 8, 5, even 2 years ago.

I don't know how I will deal with it, but it seems that anyone who wants a relationship must. I guess I'd have to keep up somehow. The first hurdle seems to be finding someone in the first place, or changing and hoping I can make myself good enough for those other girls. Either one seems to be a tall order.

A word of advice, don't be an atheist and African American at the same time. It's not going to go very well for you.

 

[EveWasFramed]

You DO realize that people change, right? The person you're searching for (and might even someday find if you're fortunate) might not be the same person two or three years from now. People grow and evolve. How will you deal with that?

Absolutely - I know that I'm not the same person I was 15, 10, 8, 5, even 2 years ago.

I don't know how I will deal with it, but it seems that anyone who wants a relationship must. I guess I'd have to keep up somehow. The first hurdle seems to be finding someone in the first place, or changing and hoping I can make myself good enough for those other girls. Either one seems to be a tall order.

ahhhh, but do consider that if you can compromise as you and your partner grow (in the future) why can't you learn to do so now? Or at least sometime in the near future? You place sooooo many limitations on yourself (as far as what you will or won't accept in a mate)and it breaks my heart to know that you don't seem at all open to be more accepting of others who don't exactly fit your criteria (potential mates). I'm not putting you down in any way here...it really does sadden me that you struggle to find someone because of your preconceived notions about what will make you happy.
I challenge you to remove the word "settling" from your vocabulary!

 

[TheSkaFish]

A word of advice, don't be an atheist and African American at the same time. It's not going to go very well for you.

I'm neither, and I'm not having any better luck. Like I was saying on another thread though, I wouldn't worry about the race thing. I've seen guys of all races have relationships, so it can't be that holding you back.

The atheist thing, it's funny I'm having the opposite problem. I don't think I'd want to go out with someone who is really religious, but at the same time, I'd like to go out with someone who at least holds out even a tiny bit of hope, enough to at least consider the possibility of some sort of higher power, afterlife, and/or way for our consciousness to continue on somehow.

 

[EveWasFramed]

The atheist thing, it's funny I'm having the opposite problem. I don't think I'd want to go out with someone who is really religious, but at the same time, I'd like to go out with someone who at least holds out even a tiny bit of hope, enough to at least consider the possibility of some sort of higher power, afterlife, and/or way for our consciousness to continue on somehow.

Find yourself an agnostic woman then.

 

[TheSkaFish]

ahhhh, but do consider that if you can compromise as you and your partner grow (in the future) why can't you learn to do so now? Or at least sometime in the near future? You place sooooo many limitations on yourself (as far as what you will or won't accept in a mate)and it breaks my heart to know that you don't seem at all open to be more accepting of others who don't exactly fit your criteria (potential mates). I'm not putting you down in any way here...it really does sadden me that you struggle to find someone because of your preconceived notions about what will make you happy.
I challenge you to remove the word "settling" from your vocabulary!

Eh....it's because I don't want my one experience on Earth to be playing the role of someone who has to compromise though. I'm sorry if that is saddening or seeming like I am throwing your advice away, and I don't feel put down by what you say - it's just that being someone that gets what they want and doesn't have to compromise, it's what I've always admired and desired and held close to my identity. I don't know what I will be like in the future like I was saying, but to remove "settling" from my vocabulary would be more of a challenge than I am capable of, at this point.

---

The atheist thing, it's funny I'm having the opposite problem. I don't think I'd want to go out with someone who is really religious, but at the same time, I'd like to go out with someone who at least holds out even a tiny bit of hope, enough to at least consider the possibility of some sort of higher power, afterlife, and/or way for our consciousness to continue on somehow.

Find yourself an agnostic woman then.

Yeah, I'll have to. I mean, I don't even really go to church or anything except here and there for special occasions. As a kid I never really liked it, it was just another place I was forced to go to, like school, when I would have rather just been at home with toys or books or cartoons. But atheism really gets me down. I don't know. Some of the girls I have liked a lot have been pretty atheist. I guess it doesn't bother me as long as we don't talk about it. I don't really talk about it a lot anyway.

 

[EveWasFramed]

ahhhh, but do consider that if you can compromise as you and your partner grow (in the future) why can't you learn to do so now? Or at least sometime in the near future? You place sooooo many limitations on yourself (as far as what you will or won't accept in a mate)and it breaks my heart to know that you don't seem at all open to be more accepting of others who don't exactly fit your criteria (potential mates). I'm not putting you down in any way here...it really does sadden me that you struggle to find someone because of your preconceived notions about what will make you happy.
I challenge you to remove the word "settling" from your vocabulary!

Eh....it's because I don't want my one experience on Earth to be playing the role of someone who has to compromise though. I'm sorry if that is saddening or seeming like I am throwing your advice away, and I don't feel put down by what you say - it's just that being someone that gets what they want and doesn't have to compromise, it's what I've always admired and desired and held close to my identity. I don't know what I will be like in the future like I was saying, but to remove "settling" from my vocabulary would be more of a challenge than I am capable of, at this point.

Oh my dear...no one makes it through life without compromising! No one! People compromise every single day!
My child, whom I have boundless love for...I compromise often when dealing with her. Compromise is often a way of showing you care for someone. Compromise is not a BAD thing!
If you were simply NUTS about corvettes and wanted a red one, but someone desperately wanted you to take a blue one, what would you do? Would you really turn away the vette because it wasn't the exact color you wanted? Or what if it was red, but didn't have the tires you liked on it? Again, are tires a deal breaker for you??
I'm not suggesting that you be with someone that you simply don't want to be with. Im suggesting that you never know what you may find if you drop those preconceived notions. To my knowledge (and I could have misread some of your posts) you haven't actually been in a relationship in real life, have you? Try a date with someone who seems fun and interesting. Don't apply all the other things you look for to her. Just SEE what happens! You might be pleasantly surprised.

 

[African_weasel]

A word of advice, don't be an atheist and African American at the same time. It's not going to go very well for you.

I'm neither, and I'm not having any better luck. Like I was saying on another thread though, I wouldn't worry about the race thing. I've seen guys of all races have relationships, so it can't be that holding you back.

The atheist thing, it's funny I'm having the opposite problem. I don't think I'd want to go out with someone who is really religious, but at the same time, I'd like to go out with someone who at least holds out even a tiny bit of hope, enough to at least consider the possibility of some sort of higher power, afterlife, and/or way for our consciousness to continue on somehow.

Well since I'm getting paid next week and a new phone, I'm going to give tinder a try. Hopefully I'll get a second job as well. I need new clothes and a new laptop with my current one repaired.

 

[blackdot]

My coworkers threatened the other day to create a fake account for me on Match with false information to get women to contact me.

I find the easiest way to get people on Match to try to contact you is to no longer have a pay account. As soon as your account goes back to free, you'll get e-mails. I swear it's Match trying to trick people into paying for another subscription.

 

[Triple Bogey]

My coworkers threatened the other day to create a fake account for me on Match with false information to get women to contact me.

I find the easiest way to get people on Match to try to contact you is to no longer have a pay account. As soon as your account goes back to free, you'll get e-mails. I swear it's Match trying to trick people into paying for another subscription.

of course it's all fake !

 

[TheWalkingDead]

My coworkers threatened the other day to create a fake account for me on Match with false information to get women to contact me.

I find the easiest way to get people on Match to try to contact you is to no longer have a pay account. As soon as your account goes back to free, you'll get e-mails. I swear it's Match trying to trick people into paying for another subscription.

of course it's all fake !

Lol!

I've taken to playing a little with OKcupid, I've written 5 messages to 5 different women, I've made sure there at least 5 things we have in common and referred to them. I have been polite and written in paragraphs, I have indicated that I have read their profile by referring to something they write, I have done my best to express who I am.

So far no replies... I don't expect any, so far at last count the message to reply ratio was about 25/0 Seeing it as an absurdist game of banging my head against a brick wall is about the size of it at the moment... I guess when I finally give up I want to at least say I gave it a good try before deleting my profile and joining the monastery

The funniest profile I read was a woman saying she hated superficial people and was looking for someone who valued her for more than her looks - then said if you are not tall and handsome don't bother messaging her :club:

 

[Alma lost her spoon]

The funniest profile I read was a woman saying she hated superficial people and was looking for someone who valued her for more than her looks - then said if you are not tall and handsome don't bother messaging her :club:

Are you tall, & or handsome WalkingDead?

Inquiring minds....

 

[EveWasFramed]

Are you tall, & or handsome WalkingDead?

Inquiring minds....

Who cares - he likes zombies.

 

[Alma lost her spoon]

Are you tall, & or handsome WalkingDead?

Inquiring minds....

Who cares - he likes zombies.

Liking zombies is a bonus

 

[EveWasFramed]

Are you tall, & or handsome WalkingDead?

Inquiring minds....

Who cares - he likes zombies.

Liking zombies is a bonus

IKR? He gets ten extra cool points for that.
Oh, he likes animals too. LOL

 

[TheWalkingDead]

The funniest profile I read was a woman saying she hated superficial people and was looking for someone who valued her for more than her looks - then said if you are not tall and handsome don't bother messaging her :club:

Are you tall, & or handsome WalkingDead?

Inquiring minds....

I am average height and the other word is meaningless to me!

 

[Alma lost her spoon]

The funniest profile I read was a woman saying she hated superficial people and was looking for someone who valued her for more than her looks - then said if you are not tall and handsome don't bother messaging her :club:

Are you tall, & or handsome WalkingDead?

Inquiring minds....

I am average height and the other word is meaningless to me!

Apparently average height for a bloke these days(around these parts) is 5'9''

Also...try here or feel free to send me a photo & I'll decide