CenotaphGirl
Under the dirt, that’s my home ⚰️
Rambling guys… read if you’re bored, no need to respond 
Not sure how you guys know who the best person is for you, but me and Rob was not meant to be together.
But I was instantly attracted to his behaviours, the way he would so easily make me feel extra submissive. I realised his energy was dominant and mine submissive, so what was missing? Well… passion. I am passionate, fiery, overtly sexual, flirtatious by nature…. or due to abuse who knows. I always felt like because I couldn't break my Rob, we would never work. However, I learned that maybe the way I like to be treated was not passion or love but utterly wrong. Sin. Really was difficult leaving the behaviours behind… learning to be treated with respect when all I craved was the opposite. Like sometimes I would cry at flowers, at my hand being held … at anything that resembles how normal people express love… it made me feel dirty, like I dont deserve that treatment.
Anyway, times moved on, Rob has never hit me, he has never hurt me. He has never made fun of me. He has never lied to me even when its all I wanted to hear. He’s washed my fathers grave with me. When I was unsatisfied with something he did, he told me he’d never give me a reason to doubt him again. He has given me 100 and I have given him 30 as thats all I have thats worth something right now, but he’s willing to wait and thats what I love about him the most.
But this week, this week has been hard for me and he has came over with wedding photos and his family tree and has been talking wedding talk to distract me. Why do I get someone like him… I really dont know… but I love this guy… he really made me a better person. I’m so scared of dying without really telling the world what he means to me. So I am going to break tradition and prepare a wedding speech for him, jesus… writing it is traumatising me lol i’ve never cried so much
Not sure how you guys know who the best person is for you, but me and Rob was not meant to be together.
But I was instantly attracted to his behaviours, the way he would so easily make me feel extra submissive. I realised his energy was dominant and mine submissive, so what was missing? Well… passion. I am passionate, fiery, overtly sexual, flirtatious by nature…. or due to abuse who knows. I always felt like because I couldn't break my Rob, we would never work. However, I learned that maybe the way I like to be treated was not passion or love but utterly wrong. Sin. Really was difficult leaving the behaviours behind… learning to be treated with respect when all I craved was the opposite. Like sometimes I would cry at flowers, at my hand being held … at anything that resembles how normal people express love… it made me feel dirty, like I dont deserve that treatment.
Anyway, times moved on, Rob has never hit me, he has never hurt me. He has never made fun of me. He has never lied to me even when its all I wanted to hear. He’s washed my fathers grave with me. When I was unsatisfied with something he did, he told me he’d never give me a reason to doubt him again. He has given me 100 and I have given him 30 as thats all I have thats worth something right now, but he’s willing to wait and thats what I love about him the most.
But this week, this week has been hard for me and he has came over with wedding photos and his family tree and has been talking wedding talk to distract me. Why do I get someone like him… I really dont know… but I love this guy… he really made me a better person. I’m so scared of dying without really telling the world what he means to me. So I am going to break tradition and prepare a wedding speech for him, jesus… writing it is traumatising me lol i’ve never cried so much
