I am oficially 38 today.
Few updates:
Still technically a virgin. Couldn't bring myself to pay for it. I once emailed a (famous) psychologist and told her my story and asked for advice; she said there are worse things than being a a virgin man - I wonder what are those worse things.
Other reason is that in the past 6 months I went on a couple of dates that gave me hope. The first girl - despite going to a concert which I've enjoyed and then the coversation going smoothly for a first date - kind of ghosted me. She woulnd't answer my texts for hours or days - crickets chirping. And I could've sworn a second date was on the cards. She was also overweight but that didn't bother me much. Then I've read this ghosting thing is pretty common in our days...it's very sad.
The second girl I dated a week ago. Friend of a friend from my brother's circle. Pretty much the same scenario. Although she is far more prompt in asnwering texts. And we have more in common. But she seems kind of lifeless, lacks enthusiasm. Works in back office for a bank, what do you expect. We'll see how it goes. Not much sparks flying around though. I'm so tired of rejection as well that I don't even feel like asking her for a second date.
And a bit of ranting:
I was reading the other day that OnlyFans is doing very well, showing nearly 7 billions in profit. How sad is that. So many lonely men paying to watch that pornographic content. Not to mention so many women earning their income this way because why be a teacher or something useful to society, when you can make an easy buck in front of a camera. And that's how the whole fabric of society changes.
Sounds like a sh*tty psychologist.
"Hey, I have this problem that's really negatively affecting my quality of life."
"Uhh...I don't know...blah blah useless platitudes."
You have to wonder how they got famous, with that useless cop-out they tried to pass off as "advice".
The OnlyFans thing, all I can think of is, people feel like being useful to society, is being a sucker, when you can work for yourself making more money as a dopamine dealer, a pleasure dealer. It's just like drug dealers, the same concept. There used to be shame in doing that, but that's gone now, thanks to a combination of permissive attitudes and changing cultural values/norms, and hyper-individualism, which says "got mine, that's all that matters, f you". It doesn't matter to them how they "got mine", only that they have it, because everyone else is grabbing after theirs. When enough people think like that, cultural values about what used to be shameful, go out the window.
I think it's all symptoms of the same hyper-individualism disease that seems to be plaguing culture in general, everything from the corporate world, to art and entertainment, to relationships, to increasing crime and casual rudeness/erratic behavior. Everything is all about getting the most for yourself, with no restraint and no desire to do things for their own sake instead of a profit/status motive.
In the corporate world, it comes out in focusing on rent-seeking and short-term profits over everything instead of rewarding employee and customer loyalty and creating better products out of pride. It's the way they take things that used to be free, and jam-pack them with ads to make the free version sh*ttier, so that they can offer a paid premium version. Or the way that instead of just buying things once, now more things a subscription that you pay for indefinitely. Profits increase, but products, services, and customer experiences get worse.
In the art world, it's everything from formulaic music that talks about how much money and sex they get, and formulaic movies that are safe bets to profit rather than taking a chance on something new.
In relationships, it's all about getting the strongest, richest man, and the hottest woman. It's all about "high value" mates, and if you aren't "high value" a person can go to hell. It used to be that only the shallowest people thought like this but it seems to have spread. It's not about making emotional connections anymore, outside of witty banter/sarcasm which involves asserting dominance over someone or something by mocking them.
And the behavior, there's been increasing rudeness and hostility from customers in places like restaurants and planes. The customers themselves are behaving in a hyper-individualistic way, because they don't care about making a scene, they only care about getting their way. This could go back to businesses allowing it, because they prioritize short-term profit over the quality of life for their staff and other customers, again out of hyper-individualism.
It's affecting every facet of our lives.
I'm not saying EVERYONE does this, there are still good genuine people out there.
But all of this behavior has been on the increase.
Sorry for the rant, but the "fabric of society" thing got me thinking.
Relationships are just one area of life that's been affected by this.
The fabric of society isn't changing because some women decided that they can make more money making porn instead of being teachers. It's deeper than that, but the fact that these women think that, is a sign of a deeper problem.
Like I said, it's a symptom, not the disease itself.
If people are wondering what happened to the world or to culture, or where "normal" or "decent" went, this would be my guess. Hyper-individualism ruined it.
![Thomas]](https://cdn.imagearchive.com/alonelylife/data/avatars/s/14/14186.jpg?1631136400){kind=avatar}
