How could someone not want me

I just don't know what's wrong with. Sure, I was overweight and weighed 220lbs and had no mode of transportation. Thankfully I lost some weight and now weight 181 and getting a job soon. What am I suppose to do? Didn't even let me take her out on one date. I guess no one will have me then.

You're too negative, man.

Sure, you may have a harder time getting someone, but that doesn't mean you don't have any chance. And there is also the possibility you may meet someone through work.

You asked someone out and they said no?

I feel what you are saying.

I went out with a girl but couldn't get a second date. She didn't even reply back to say no about it, she just vanished completely after saying she had a good time.

It messes with your head I guess.

I guess just don't dwell on it. I have all these new cuts because of it and now I feel stupid for doing that to myself. It's just gonna leave more scars I'll have to explain away when I meet new people.

I guess just try to be positive. I met a guy today who has to go to his son's funeral this week plus move into a homeless shelter because he was fired last week. The worst was that even while listening to his story I was still feeling sorry for myself just because some girl didn't want me. I hate being so self-absorbed.

theglasscell said:

You asked someone out and they said no?

I feel what you are saying.

I went out with a girl but couldn't get a second date. She didn't even reply back to say no about it, she just vanished completely after saying she had a good time.

It messes with your head I guess.

I guess just don't dwell on it. I have all these new cuts because of it and now I feel stupid for doing that to myself. It's just gonna leave more scars I'll have to explain away when I meet new people.

I guess just try to be positive. I met a guy today who has to go to his son's funeral this week plus move into a homeless shelter because he was fired last week. The worst was that even while listening to his story I was still feeling sorry for myself just because some girl didn't want me. I hate being so self-absorbed.

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To top it all off, I lost her to drugs when I planned to after her again. Not to the addiction part, but to the using and selling part.

How'd you lose her to drugs?

theglasscell said:

How'd you lose her to drugs?

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It began when she got kicked out of her home by her mom and moved in with a drug dealer who knows where I live and what I said in my last post. And he had the nerve to try to sell to me. That was my first attempt at a serious relationship.

So you guys had already dated?

African_weasel said:

theglasscell said:

How'd you lose her to drugs?

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It began when she got kicked out of her home by her mom and moved in with a drug dealer who knows where I live and what I said in my last post. And he had the nerve to try to sell to me. That was my first attempt at a serious relationship.

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Hmmm. Well, based on that information, maybe if you were a drug dealer you would have had a shot? Who knows why people reject people. The hell if I know.

Listen, that woman is only one person. While I didn't have a relationship with her, that doesn't mean that no other woman is going to want me. KEEP THE FAITH, MAN! Somebody it's going to happen to you.

theglasscell said:

So you guys had already dated?

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no. not even close.

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Sarah_Lbnz said:

African_weasel said:

theglasscell said:

How'd you lose her to drugs?

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It began when she got kicked out of her home by her mom and moved in with a drug dealer who knows where I live and what I said in my last post. And he had the nerve to try to sell to me. That was my first attempt at a serious relationship.

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Hmmm. Well, based on that information, maybe if you were a drug dealer you would have had a shot? Who knows why people reject people. The hell if I know.

Listen, that woman is only one person. While I didn't have a relationship with her, that doesn't mean that no other woman is going to want me. KEEP THE FAITH, MAN! Somebody it's going to happen to you.

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yeah, I understand the bad boy thing. The only illegal thing I've done was run stop signs and red lights. There is a fine line between that and being a criminal/******* stupid. I wish I had a gun though, everybody likes those. She is not going to get that from hanging with a dealer without being scared to death. Good thing I'm possibly getting a job soon, she will be missing out on the legal fun I'm having with a Beretta 92. Always wanted to go to the range since I turned 18 and shoot one.

How much you weigh and what car you do - or don't - drive won't really make someone "want" you. Just saying. Those things don't make who you are, and it's sad to see that a lot of people depend on things like that to determine going out or being with someone. If she said no, then she has her reasons. It may have nothing to do with you. And even if her reason was you in some way or another, you can't make someone like you. She had every right to turn you down, and that's her choice. But just because one person turned you down, doesn't mean every female would.

I find this subject interesting. Most of us are baffled why we don't have any luck. I think it is how we present ourselves. In fact we have no idea how we come across to other people. The way we speak, how we sound, the expressions on our faces, our body language. A few years back I was a member of this other forum. I got a bit sick of people on there saying I was normal and all I had to do was 'get out there' - I did this little video using a camcorder of me talking. It was only a minute long and I spoke about this golf round I had played. I then posted a message saying if anybody wanted to view the video, they could but I asked for completely honest comments. About a dozen asked for the video. Comments were interesting. My very best friends on there, the ones who liked me and wanted to say 'good things' said I was 'normal looking' or 'average', they said I should 'smile more', 'practise smiling', I looked miserable, down beat, cheesed off, whatever you want to call it. My body language screamed 'not bothered' as well !

The other comments were different. I looked like a 'serial killer' just before going out and killing someone. Those words got mentioned more than once ! I looked 'mean', 'intense', 'scary', 'someone to avoid' - and the fact is this is when I was in a normal mood, speaking normally to a camera. I wasn't fed up or anything. I can't see how I look, I have no idea what my face looks like. I try and smile but I can't do it every minute of every day. I have a funny speaking voice, it's not pretty.

And it's not like I am a miserable person. Far from it ! I am probably more happy than most. The times people say 'what's up ?' and I have no idea what they are on about. The insults I take when I speak. The 'cheer up's !' - it hasn't been easy being 'me' but in the last 20 years working in retail I have developed this strong personality and I can get by, live a normal life. Of course that doesn't mean there is a queue of women wanting to date me, far from it !

I would think 'how we present ourselves' is more important than the usual 'looks', 'money' etc

Just when I lowered my standards and stopped being picky. I usually look for exclusively tall women at least my height. But I relaxed that for this person.

African_weasel said:

Just when I lowered my standards and stopped being picky. I usually look for exclusively tall women at least my height. But I relaxed that for this person.

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With just this post alone, I have a feeling that it's just about what you see for you. You do know there's more to a person than what you initially see, yeah?

I'm more worried about you surrounding yourself with guns and drugs, than anything else in your post. If you want to get clean, you need to get rid of all of that.

LeaningIntoTheMuse said:

I'm more worried about you surrounding yourself with guns and drugs, than anything else in your post. If you want to get clean, you need to get rid of all of that.

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I was never into drugs even though I tried weed and molly. The person that I was interested in started doing hard drugs and the dealer said that I tried to threaten him to possibly to keep me away from her. I now know that first hand that those kinds of people only care about their money and their selves. So, I got out while I still could. My friend on the other hand had nowhere to go. I haven't done drugs in two months soon to be three.

And for the guns, I found it therapeutic when I held one for the first time. I went through an emotionally traumatic experience in the past months felt I had no control what happened around me. I got that sense of control back when I took a walk to the gun range and held several pistols and some rifles and shotguns. I felt a sense of liberation by being able to hold it. Therefore, I can own one without me feeling connected to the drug scene that I abandoned. It wasn't that attractive to me at all.

Nothing wrong with guns. I wouldn't mess with the drugs though. But going to a firing range sounds fun. I'd like to do that myself.

VanillaCreme said:

Nothing wrong with guns. I wouldn't mess with the drugs though. But going to a firing range sounds fun. I'd like to do that myself.

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I'm not doing drugs, that's how I lost her.
I might go to one with my grandfather one day before he goes back to Africa.

I hope you're done worrying about that girl. You're better off focusing your energy somewhere else. You're so young anyway. I remember this girl I was in love with when I was 17 totally f'd me over and I thought I wanted to die and three years later I met my future wife and she was a million times better than that girl.

If she's mixed up in drugs it's better off you had nothing to do with her anyway.

Yeah that died down since the last you've been here. Now it's the issue with the guns and me wanting to become a Ukrainian R&B pop star.

Do you write or record songs? That's really random.