Well, I for one can tell you, that if, 'cash is tight,' and that comes through in your appearance; that could be part of the problem, lol.
Let's break this down.
1. it's a recurrent phenomena
2. it's a subjective experience (arguably everything is; but, if you are saying a man is 6 feet tall, we can measure him and come to a consensus)
3. you say cash is tight (which could mean you are well off but living beyond your means, or you not so well off, etc.. etc.. could mean a lot of different things. Some women won't want to give you the time of day unless you have a rolex, others woudn't care if you were a couch surfing pot head who could make her laugh and show her a good time (at least at that stage in her life))
4. you describe an experience with a woman; but, i'll assume your experiences with men are just as confusing.
So we know that it happens a lot. And you can confirm that, and I'm of a mind to agree with you that it does. That covers 1. I believe you that something is going on, beyond you being delusional.
It is however, a subjective experience. Different people have different levels of sensitivity at different times for different reasons. If some one's mother just slapped them before they went out shopping to get shoes, they might be more likely to view the cashier at the shoe store as being, 'hostile.' So here, we have some variables. Have you been sensitized? Or are you naturally sensitive? The result can be similar; but these are two different things, is either one possible? Secondly, is there some condition in your life that is, 'priming,' you? By, 'priming,' you, I mean in the way that example woman was slapped by her mother before shopping. Perhaps past experiences have primed you to feeling excluded, rejected, or mistreated. If we are primed in this way, often we may subconsciously invite more of this behavior (I don't know how you fix that, but at least being aware might help).
Thirdly we have things like your external appearance. The way you dress, your demeanor (are you a human among klingons? if so, you might be pissing a lot of people off and not knowing how to navigate the terrain), your posture, your facial expression, your smell, the way you look. Things like this can be absolutely exhausting to try and rule out and deal with; also, consider there are such things as punk rockers who probably smell, and probably don't have your problem; so we can rule this one out, for the most part, by being well groomed and well dressed. If you really wanted to investigate it further, you could attempt a make-over; a man needs to adjust his style from time to time, so long as it suits him. So, be well groomed, and decently dressed, and investigate any further without fussing too much.
For the third area, the opposite sex and the same sex, each have their own challenges. A woman knows, like a man, pretty quick, whether she finds some one favorable to her taste or not. This is not always true; I'm just speaking of the general goings on of the average everyday busy body, which is most people. People who believe first impressions count, tend to go off first impressions, and that's the majority. Some women will tend to give quite sheepish men a queer look and a shortness of encounter; they don't know what to do with a guy like that and at first they may react in a hostile manner because like any unexpected event, we jump a bit and get scared. Likewise, men, in perceiving weakness, will see you as a target to give a hard time, because it's quite likely some one else is giving them a hard time; and it's a natural tendency to, 'send the pain below,' for whatever god awful reason us monkeys can't figure out how not to do that. So, what I'm saying is, 'set and setting and actor.' You are the actor, then there is there set, then there is the setting. Some of that can be changed, what can't must be accepted or adapted to..
Lastly, it may be beyond your ability to figure this out on your own, at least from a traditional logical approach, because it might not be logical. It may be an entire array of all of these different things, arranged in symphonic way, that yield a particular result; such that, it is obscured.
I found once, that when I was in a certain state of mind, and felt generally, for the most part, agreeable to my peers in social settings, I acquired the habit of genuinely complimenting people. When I say genuinely, I mean that, by some miracle force within me, I had no control over, I was landing awesome, well received compliments (something I don't normally think to give people); I couldn't begin to know how to do that now, without it being awkward and forced, like trying to eat when you aren't hungry.
It's hard to be witty, funny, and generally spontaneous, on command; that can make it even harder than just accepting you aren't and waiting for the moment to come on it's own. So, I guess my point is that, some times it's circumstance. And despite people's best efforts to believe things like that can be altered by, 'changing how you think,' changing your, 'perspective,' I don't think it really works like that. I think that IS possible, to do those things; but, I think it's counter-intuitive at least 50% so, to believe we can. Sort of like the person who believes they are healthy because they take vitamins and starts to feel healthier. So what the **** is my point?
...My point (if I have one) is that, yeah, I think, some times it's circumstance. It may not be your presentation, what you are wearing, your smell, even your posture or demeanor; it might be more, your, 'frequency.' Like if everyone you worked with suddenly started watching a new show on TV, independently of each other. Eventually they'd start realizing they are all watching the same show, and if you weren't watching it, you wouldn't be, 'in on it.' So maybe you'd start watching the show to, 'get in on it,' but you're getting in late, so you're still not, 'in.' So you're ****** no matter what you do. It was a certain thing, at a certain time and place, and you had to be there, and you weren't, and it colors peoples interaction with you. Sometimes, maybe we just aren't, 'in the in.'
But, a smile, as hard as it can be to have one, a lightness of air, and perhaps a magical incantation of kindness, at the right time and the right moment, in the right circumstance, can probably win people over from time to time. It's probably easier to think of a genuine compliment to give some one when you are doing reasonably well and not so inwardly focused, than if you were spending the whole time thinking, 'what am I doing wrong?'
...and maybe if you are lucky enough, or perhaps wise enough, or shrewd enough, you can find a shortcut, and get ahead of everyone, far enough so, people will be friendly and you'll be friendly too.
