15 signs that a man has never had a girlfriend

[Locke]

Agreed, but it was a joke. I find personality to be more important. If you're only dating someone based on physical attraction, that is shallow.

But its not like I'm going to date Katy Perry, and there's no harm in looking.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

See, that's actually funny.

The most ridiculous question I've been asked recently was by a gay guy I met at a party. He was like "So are you straight?" And I said "Yeah", then he was like "But are you 100% straight?"

The only reason I think he thought I was gay was because I'd been going on about how Katy Perry was the best singer ever and he must have taken it the wrong way. I don't think that many straight men love her for her music.

Can I play solo Twister? Where do my hands go?

But, yeah, I'm also a fan of female pop singers, and I get the "are you gay?" question a lot. Or they just assume.

Here's a hint: if a male sex symbol takes off their shirt, and you feel nothing, but you want to see female celebrity singers naked, you aren't gay. Just because I like Christina Aguilera's music doesn't mean I wouldn't boing the hell out of her, if I had the chance.

Oh, and theglasscell, if you want, I have a handful of live Katy Perry bootlegs from the California Dreams and One of The Boys tours. I like her music, too. If you want them, pm me...it's not illegal to share them, but it probably is against forum policy to post links.

 

[theglasscell]

I love female and male pop singers. It really just depends on the individual singer.

I love Robin Thicke, but can't get into Justin Timberlake.

I'm also really into Ke$ha and Jessie J.

There's a lot of great pop music being made now.

Pink is also amazing.

 

[murmi97]

Whoa, that light on her legs makes her look like a barbie. I'm not trying to call her fake. I think it looks kinda cool. Wonder if that was the exact intention

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Whoa, that light on her legs makes her look like a barbie. I'm not trying to call her fake. I think it looks kinda cool. Wonder if that was the exact intention

Actually, if you look more closely, she's wearing pantyhose, which the light is reflecting off of. At least, I think so.

 

[theglasscell]

It's probably just those tights she's wearing. I think she's just as adorable without makeup and not dressed up all sexy. I saw her movie and they show her a lot before she gets all done up. A lot of what makes her so cute is her personality, it shines through all the other stuff.

Not all pop stars have so much warmth. Like when she was on Ellen having a tea party with those little girls it was adorable, it seemed like she was really having a great time.

 

[murmi97]

Oh, yeah probably.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Since we're discussing female pop singers, I like:

Britney Spears
Christina Aguilera
Avril Lavigne
Kesha
Beyonce
Mariah Carey
Whitney Houston
Celine Dion (her early stuff)
Amy Grant

Yeah...not the straightest of lists. But I've had a celebrity crush on Avril since she first came out with "Complicated", and one of the posters on my wall in Christina Aguilera in her underwear...so people who assume crap like that are stupid.

I am also a bigger fan of rock, and heavy metal. Black Sabbath, Rush, Tool, Marilyn Manson, Nine Inch Nails, Metallica, Opeth...etc. The funny thing is, if I mention those artists, I am straight...but I suddenly switch sexualities if I mention the female pop singers.

People are ridiculous.

 

[Locke]

The funny thing is, if I mention those artists, I am straight...but I suddenly switch sexualities if I mention the female pop singers

People are ridiculous.

Sounds like a high school thing, where you have to listen to a certain type of music to fit in with a crowd. Some people never grow out of that kind of thinking.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

The funny thing is, if I mention those artists, I am straight...but I suddenly switch sexualities if I mention the female pop singers

People are ridiculous.

Sounds like a high school thing, where you have to listen to a certain type of music to fit in with a crowd. Some people never grow out of that kind of thinking.

Oh yes. Believe me, some people "want" to continue living in high school, even as adults. My sister is a prime example.

Sometimes I wonder if a person's age really matters that much. You can be 60 years old, but have the maturity level of a 16 year old...or you can be 16, and have the maturity level of a 60 year old.

People don't want to accept responsibility nowadays, which is why our country is in the mess it's in.

 

[theglasscell]

It's true. I work with an old Polish guy who is 60 but he has the maturity level of a 15 year old boy and is just really lazy and annoying.

He will always do that this where you make your hand into the shape of a ***** and the stick your finger in and out.

And talks about how he's getting laid.

I'm not a prude but I try to be professional at work.

My niece is 12 and she's way more mature than some of the 30 year old women I've gone on dates with.

Sometimes I think being very extroverted and popular your whole life can keep you from maturing at a normal rate. Like never having to be alone and look inside or doubt yourself keeps you from growing.

Some of the most brilliant fiction writers have had lonely and miserable lives, I often wonder if being happy and content would have prevented a lot of great novels from being written.

 

[Locke]

I think wanting to be part of a crowd and to fit in is natural for some teens, but the world is a scary place, and people would be better off out growing the need to adapt.

Maybe they should start teaching Free Will classes in school.

 

[Runciter]

Some of the most brilliant fiction writers have had lonely and miserable lives, I often wonder if being happy and content would have prevented a lot of great novels from being written.

A lot of the worlds most famous and influential artists, musicians and authors have had sever mental problems as well. The world would be a much more dull and uninteresting place if they had never lived. A lot of my favorite artists/musicians/authors could be considered to be very screwed up but the work they have left behind for us all is something so beautiful that I can only be eternally grateful for.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

It's true. I work with an old Polish guy who is 60 but he has the maturity level of a 15 year old boy and is just really lazy and annoying.

He will always do that this where you make your hand into the shape of a ***** and the stick your finger in and out.

And talks about how he's getting laid.

I'm not a prude but I try to be professional at work.

My niece is 12 and she's way more mature than some of the 30 year old women I've gone on dates with.

Sometimes I think being very extroverted and popular your whole life can keep you from maturing at a normal rate. Like never having to be alone and look inside or doubt yourself keeps you from growing.

Some of the most brilliant fiction writers have had lonely and miserable lives, I often wonder if being happy and content would have prevented a lot of great novels from being written.

Sounds like things that 14 year old guys did at my school. That, and the ******* motion with your hand and a tongue...the teenage girls did that, too.

I am very introverted, and very shy and quiet, so I have a hard time relating to people. That's why I make more friends online than offline.

 

[Locke]

Sometimes I think being very extroverted and popular your whole life can keep you from maturing at a normal rate. Like never having to be alone and look inside or doubt yourself keeps you from growing.

That's true. Too much attention makes people over confident, and it can be just as damaging as loneliness.

 

[Runciter]

I'd like to add a little something to the extrovert argument. While I agree that it is mostly true, looks can be deceiving.

If you met me at the pub you would probably think I was one of those guys, I am often the center of attention when in a group of friends and I appear very outwardly extrovert. However this is like some kind of defense mechanism for me, I've always been this way. I think I use it to control social situations to prevent anxiety but the truth is it leaves me feeling even more alone.

I like the analogy of the sad clown, laughing on the outside but crying deep down. The fact is I am an introverted guy disguised as an extrovert when I feel I need to be in control and while it might sound good, it isn't. I often regret a lot of the things I do and tend to distance and alienate myself from my friends after a while, it really isn't all it's cracked up to be.

 

[Locke]

Hmm, interesting Runciter. I've never met someone who is able to disguise themselves as an extrovert so well. I'm sure many introverts can fake it to some degree, but doing it constantly sounds exhausting and kind of painful. I don't blame you for wanting to distance yourself from people after that.

 

[theglasscell]

I think some people can be both sometimes. In certain situations I can be very extroverted like if I'm around a bunch of artsy people who know a lot about movies and books then I will end up being the most extroverted person in the room. But if it's at work where my coworkers are all blue collar people who only really like sports then I am terribly introverted.

There is nothing I can contribute to the conversation and none of the things I know about would mean anything to them.

I feel like with me it's a case of almost always being out of my element when it comes to work and social situations.

I only realized I was extroverted recently because a friend of mine is very self conscious and awkward in social situations and we went to a party together. And afterwards he told someone else he was worried he'd feel uncomfortable meeting all these new people and then he was like "But Jeff was with me and he's so crazy that it felt like it didn't matter what I said."

But I can go either way, I think it ties into my depression a lot. On bad days I am so shy just leaving my apartment is terrifying and I can barely say a word to anyone, I will end up only being able to order out food because I'm too scared to leave and go buy it myself.

I really don't know why, sometimes it's like I have two totally different personalities.

 

[Runciter]

Hmm, interesting Runciter. I've never met someone who is able to disguise themselves as an extrovert so well. I'm sure many introverts can fake it to some degree, but doing it constantly sounds exhausting and kind of painful. I don't blame you for wanting to distance yourself from people after that.

I only ever do it in groups. I think it confuses people because they'll have loads of fun with me on the night but I'll ignore their calls for the next week or so, it's not very nice I know and that's why i tend to avoid groups.

Interestingly, it only ever happens with men, perhaps some competitive, macho, alpha-male ********. Stick me in a group of girls and I'm fine, neither too extroverted or introverted. I find it a lot easier to get on with girls but at the same time I turn to a gibbering wreck of a man when confronted with a girl I really like and have a hard time letting her know I'm interested. Most of my previous girlfriends had to make the move on me.

Now, I'm not trying to compare my problems to anyone else here and I'm sure there are some people who would give their right arm to be in my position but it comes with a set of very deep seated personal issues and some rather disturbing past events. Its not something I would wish on anyone, I'm just offering you guys an alternative point of view.

 

[blackdot]

I would say that about a third of those 15 things apply to me. Yet I have sort of had a girlfriend before.