32, friendless, virgin and call me autistic but there are things I totally fail to understand

[maybetrollingmaybenot]

Just one example that puzzles me - on one dating app I've put some super mediocre pics and not only do girls respond but I get 1 or 2 messages a day from random ones. Yet...I uploaded what I consider to be one of my best pics ever and no one texts and no one replies? I get it: it's too "distopian", metrosexual, beard... but?



I think I may be high on the autism spectrum because I find it very hard to get the context of what others want or like. Yet...I can easily determine pain/pleasure and I've made a lot of money I mean it's not like I am total "social failure". But the lack of friends and zero dates with women("girls" - assuming 20+), is troubling me. Thank you!

 

[user 188685]

Hello and welcome

 

[maybetrollingmaybenot]

Hello and welcome

Thank you!

 

[user 188685]

Thank you!

very welcome,I hope you enjoy it here

 

[Finished]

Welcome to the forum. I've found it nearly impossible to get any responses on any dating sites IF I use any of my real pictures even the vague looking ones. So, you're better off then I am. BTW, I like the picture that you showed.

 

[maybetrollingmaybenot]

Maybe it's a "tinder" issue? I mean I'm not talking about tinder but badoo and tagged the latter having some 80-90% fake profiles (an honest estimate). And: thank you, I like your avatar lol...was watching on youtube yesterday a "koala fight" which seemed super harmless...

 

[user 164061]

Maybe it's a "tinder" issue? I mean I'm not talking about tinder but badoo and tagged the latter having some 80-90% fake profiles (an honest estimate). And: thank you, I like your avatar lol...was watching on youtube yesterday a "koala fight" which seemed super harmless...

I was on Tinder for about 4 days and got nothing at all, but the ones i liked probably ended up being fakes. For lols i tried Badoo a few months ago and it was still full of fakes. When i've used photos with sunglasses on apps women have told me they want to see my eyes

 

[WillPower]

I think many guys struggle with the same issues in terms of not knowing what attracts a woman in dating profile pictures. That's why I think you really need to hire a professional. Yes, I was skeptical as well at first, but when this guy I knew tripled the amount of matches he got on dating apps, I decided to travel all the way down to Florida to get photos from the same photographer. You need a photographer who understands how to take dating app photos that can make you look masculine and attractive. Not every professional photographer understands how to do that.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Could be a Tinder thing, if it's Tinder you're using. I've never used it, but I hear that app is all about hookups and superficiality.

From the pic you uploaded, it's not bad at all, but it is a bit hard to see your face.

The sunglasses are cool though I like the aviator style. I have a pair myself.

 

[Yeti1980]

I think there are two good general rules to profile pics.

Firstly, it's important that it doesn't look too much like a fashion shoot. There's something about an overly prepared shot that makes it look a bit staged, and it takes away the element of character that you can get with a genuine pic.

The second rule is not to wear anything that has a disguising effect, again that comes down to coming across as genuine and allowing people to see the real you. Just my opinion, but sunglasses are a big no no, seeing someone's eyes can be a real decider.

Basically, be as much the person that you genuinely are because that's who you are going to be when you meet whoever it is for a date.

Worked for me, met my wife online in 2015.

 

[user 164061]

I agree with that. As i said i've been told many times before about not wearing sunglasses in images by women, as they want to see my full face. But on the other hand i've got nobody to take a photo for me, so 99% of mine are taken by me and i now dislike taking selfies of myself because i've taken so many

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Eh you look good to me mateee I think im autistic too to be honest, not so much due to my lack of success attracting blokes because well... I dont struggle there, but due to how hard it is for me to exist with others, I have terrible social anxiety and I can never say the right things... I say cold things, not understanding that its cold and blah blah... but anyway, I hope you get your match soon, im rooting for ya!

 

[Forgottendanfan]

I'm in your situation, only two years older. Male, virgin and zero social circle. It seems like a mammoth task to change things at this age.

 

[maybetrollingmaybenot]

I'm in your situation, only two years older. Male, virgin and zero social circle. It seems like a mammoth task to change things at this age.

Yeah well virginity isn't the biggest problem, we know it was when we were 20-25 but these days you probably know the lack of friends and and everything getting worse is a much bigger issue. OK, almost "everything", financially I'm doing ok, even got rid off a nasty chronic infection that tormented me for 2 years (literally) but it's now gone completely. Yet...the fact that you get older sucks, over 30 most people are having kids meanwhile we're like 15 year olds planning to make first friends lol. Looking at the bright side: it's good when you're mentally young at least .

 

[Forgottendanfan]

Yeah well virginity isn't the biggest problem, we know it was when we were 20-25 but these days you probably know the lack of friends and and everything getting worse is a much bigger issue. OK, almost "everything", financially I'm doing ok, even got rid off a nasty chronic infection that tormented me for 2 years (literally) but it's now gone completely. Yet...the fact that you get older sucks, over 30 most people are having kids meanwhile we're like 15 year olds planning to make first friends lol. Looking at the bright side: it's good when you're mentally young at least .

I'm not sure I've ever been mentally young.

 

[maybetrollingmaybenot]

Try? Why not. I'd say I'll even be considered childish by many and I don't care.