A girlfriend will solve all of my issues?

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Unacceptance said:
Stop looking for a girlfriend actively and they will come out of the woodwork. Or so I hear.

While i agree with this to an extent I'd say you are a bit off.

Be active with women, but don't try to date every one that you are active with. Make it a goal to meet as many women as possible, the girl at the market, the woman walking her dog, etc. etc..

You will probably meet some good friends and sooner or later one of those girls is gonna mesh well with you, or have a friend that will.
 
alonelyshyboy said:
I just feel that finding a girlfriend will help to solve my lonely and sad feelings. Why? My life is pretty much on track - I am well-educated, I have a good career ahead of me, I don't look like a social outcast (feel like one though :( ). If I find the right girl, I will then have someone to take out to do things with, I can get to meet her friends, etc... and I will have someone to cuddle up with!

However, I fear that many women won't accept me because I am lonely. It's not that I choose to be this way, but because I am very shy and very much wish for a fulfilling social life.

I am a gentleman and know that I can treat a woman right. I can also be silly, yet serious when needed.


What do you all think?

You remind me of someone I met on forty-year old virgin imdb.
 
Just Get a Gf and stop puttin so much thought into it, its a girlfriend not a mortgage.....

well actually a gf is like a mortgage, they are expensive, need alot of attention, very stressful and theres that time of the month (usually the end) you are wondering just what the **** youve gotten urself into................LOL
 
Dodge Diesel said:
Just Get a Gf and stop puttin so much thought into it, its a girlfriend not a mortgage.....

well actually a gf is like a mortgage, they are expensive, need alot of attention, very stressful and theres that time of the month (usually the end) you are wondering just what the **** youve gotten urself into................LOL


Why freaken buy when U can rent? :p
Maintenace is very low and it's tax free too....man

Yeah man...
Think of a GF as a hobbie. Something you can get into.:D
Yeah..man, If you have a hobbie like mine...You learn how to do evasive manuvers off of the deck.lmao
A humty dump is an aerobatice manuver. You do a vertical up, roll 180, 1/2 loop and roll 180 back, vertical down , and then pull out..lmao
 
A good gf will fix some problems, like low confidence, and with each gf after that it'll raise a little. I've only had three so far, but with each one I don't feel like such a loser. I kinda feel like this can actually happen to me :D I used to think EVERY girl was WAY outta my league. But don't try too hard, that'll result in just dating cause you feel like you have to. Wait until you find a girl that you actually care about, and take it from there ;)
 
Dude... alonelyshyboy. You sound like an older version of me. Don't have a "career" but other than that it is like you are reading my lines. Just try an pick a certain girl you like but don't make her into your "outlet" for all your problems. Can you imagine if a girl dated you because you could fix their social problems? Don't get me wrong dude. I know how it feels to be alone in a crowded room. I know what it is like when you are surrounded by friends but you feel that none of them can come close to relating. I would have to say that you need a more intimate (not just meaning ***! You can have an intimate relationship without jumping into bed) relationship. That person who will actually understand you and see past the mask that you hide behind. An active energtic person who realizes that sometimes you just need a little space. If you can find a girl like this you will be doing fine. That is what I am shooting for.
 
A gf only commpounds any issues you already have. I have gotten into plenty of relationships thinking my life is going to get better and in some ways it does but whatever is behind the reason why you are lonely will still remain and there is nothing worse than being in a relationship and feeling lonely or guilty because you are too scared to do anything. The first thing you will probably do (I did) is blame the girl (subconciously) finish the relationship (eventually) and then realize the problem was you (me) all along!! Life experience brings confidence to the majority. There are the lucky few who seem to have it regardless but for many of them it is only a front unless they have life experience. So front up! Get some experience!
A relationship is about the meeting of two whole people to make the relationship not two half people looking to get fixed. If you had told me this twenty years ago I would have laughed you out the building! However I now see it is true.
To have as much as you seem to have and to still be lonely tells me you have issues around intamacy, feeling less than, doing others thinking for them, rejecting yourself before others reject you, bouts of identity crisis, fear of what people think of you to name a few (this is a total guess based on my experience, I have suffered from all of the above!)
A man is supposed to bring his strength to the relationship (emotional, physical and spiritual) I knew for along time that I was lacking in at least one or all of these areas and went for less chalenging relationships.
Relationships are like a medievil castle seige: everyone on the inside wants out and everyone on the outside wants in. There are plenty of married guys I know who would envy the freedom and hope that you have as a single man.
Work is now the most common place to meet a partner, a good enviroment where you can be seen in your natural state! If there are few women at your work place get a weekend job as a barman not for the money but to meet girls while you are sober and they may be feeling ammourous :)
Good luck my friend and choose wisely!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
I was talking to a friend at College on Wednesday. We were talking about how you need to be happy with yourself. And not think that getting a women will just fix the problems.
 
I really think a girl friend will help with low self-esteem and confidence. But I'm just saying that cause I've never had one. I would give anything for a good trustworthy girl friend.
 

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