I'll try to word this as best I can without sounding desperate or selfish, as I'm neither. And, I know this isn't a dating site, so I'll put my anti-flame suit on ahead of time. To start, I only have one good friend. He recently joined the Army, so I don't get to see or talk to him very often. I'm also very disconnected from my family because of how superficial and cliquey they are. It's hard for me to make friends because I hold my standards high for what a real friend should be. In my mind, a friend should be someone who you share common interests with, and someone who is always there for you, cares about you and accepts you for who you are. This is why my friend in the Army and I are such good friends.
Anyway, I'm here because I'm lonely. Good friends are hard to come by and finding a partner is even harder. I've never been in a relationship before because I've never met anyone I felt I had a connection with. I want to be in a relationship with someone who is my best friend. I'm a member of a dating site and I've gotten a few requests from some girls my own age, but I politely declined all of them because I didn't really relate to any of them. I understand that it's unrealistic to look for someone who's exactly like you, but that's not what I'm after. I'd like to meet someone that shares some of the same qualities and interests as me. Someone that's emotionally self-aware and in tune with the world. I know that having a partner doesn't inherently make loneliness disappear, but I know why specifically I feel lonely. It's not because I don't have a rolodex of friends, or because I don't get invited to social gatherings (not that I'd want to go anyway). It's because all my life I've never felt loved by anyone. Growing up as a child, my parents didn't really give me much affection. Granted they did stuff with me, but I always felt like I just tagged along in the background. Very rarely did my family do anything wholesome together or with me. They mostly left me to do my own thing.
I think if I had someone in my life that loved me intimately, I wouldn't feel so lonely. I live by one of the Finger Lakes. When it gets warm out I go up to the lake all the time. I always park in the same spot near the water that overlooks a very beautiful vista. From there I often stare at the peer. I wonder what it would be like to walk down it with someone that loves me. What it would be like to hold their hand and walk down it to the end together. And at the end, to ask them how their day is going. If it's not going well, I'd enjoy comforting them. I wonder what it would be like to mean something to someone in such an intimate way.
Perhaps the aforementioned is naive and unrealistic. I'm probably going to get berated for this post, but I've been dying to ask the question: Does anyone here share the same feelings?
Anyway, I'm here because I'm lonely. Good friends are hard to come by and finding a partner is even harder. I've never been in a relationship before because I've never met anyone I felt I had a connection with. I want to be in a relationship with someone who is my best friend. I'm a member of a dating site and I've gotten a few requests from some girls my own age, but I politely declined all of them because I didn't really relate to any of them. I understand that it's unrealistic to look for someone who's exactly like you, but that's not what I'm after. I'd like to meet someone that shares some of the same qualities and interests as me. Someone that's emotionally self-aware and in tune with the world. I know that having a partner doesn't inherently make loneliness disappear, but I know why specifically I feel lonely. It's not because I don't have a rolodex of friends, or because I don't get invited to social gatherings (not that I'd want to go anyway). It's because all my life I've never felt loved by anyone. Growing up as a child, my parents didn't really give me much affection. Granted they did stuff with me, but I always felt like I just tagged along in the background. Very rarely did my family do anything wholesome together or with me. They mostly left me to do my own thing.
I think if I had someone in my life that loved me intimately, I wouldn't feel so lonely. I live by one of the Finger Lakes. When it gets warm out I go up to the lake all the time. I always park in the same spot near the water that overlooks a very beautiful vista. From there I often stare at the peer. I wonder what it would be like to walk down it with someone that loves me. What it would be like to hold their hand and walk down it to the end together. And at the end, to ask them how their day is going. If it's not going well, I'd enjoy comforting them. I wonder what it would be like to mean something to someone in such an intimate way.
Perhaps the aforementioned is naive and unrealistic. I'm probably going to get berated for this post, but I've been dying to ask the question: Does anyone here share the same feelings?
