A Lost Cause

[Ink]

Dear all,


why am I here? Well, I guess I am a lost cause. Sometimes I barely feel alive. There is nothing for me to look forward to the next day. I have no excitement in my life, nothing new or anything that creates deeper emotions in me. I am soon to be 23 and I have never been in love – forming close ties with anyone is incredibly hard for me. In addition to that I have only one friend left. I pushed all the others away (rather skillfully one might add). Why? Because I loathe superficial relationships and shallow people and in the end I can say that all my friendships and friends were just that.


I often - no, always – escape into dreams and fantasies. Books, movies, games, you name it. Just give me a good story and I'm hooked for days. Other than that I'm lost in my own thoughts. I am super crazy, ok? But I sometimes feel like there is such a colourful and wonderful world in my head while everything around me is grey and dull.


I am an introvert, someone who often needs days in a row to recharge and sort things out – yet I crave for connection.


Things I enjoy are: Books, languages, the written word, walks, music, learning new things, spring and summer, the sea, philosophy, history, psychology, gardening. I feel most comfortable when I am in nature. It ist odd, yes, but I feel more lonley and lost when I am in a crowded place than wandering off into the forest for hours without any direction and idea where I'm even at exactly (until now I always found my way home haha).


I also like talking about myself and by talking I mean talking, not writing anonymously in some forum. I guess that is because I rarely do so. Don't get me wrong, I am not some self-centered girl that cannot shut up. I'm a good listener. It's just that I want people to know the true me. I want someone, who I can trust and who trusts me completley.


Well, yes, that is me. I know it sounds bad.
- Ink

 

[Lacrecia]

Welcome.
What are some of your favorite novelists and philosophers?

 

[Alyosha]

Crowded places suck.

Welcome to the forum.

 

[Yeti1980]

Welcome aboard, Ink!

You don't sound like a lost cause at all to me, if you're a deeper person than all those social butterflies, so be it.

There's plenty of merit in the things you enjoy, if everyone enjoyed nature as you do then the environment might not be in such jeopardy. Enjoy being yourself and keep holding out for the kind of people you enjoy the company of, you're 22 after all and the clock isn't exactly ticking.

 

[TheRealCallie]

You know, you don't sound weird or crazy to me and it doesn't sound that bad at all. And it's not all that odd that you feel more alone in a crowd than by yourself. There are people who aren't "seeing" you in a crowd, while there isn't in nature. It makes total sense and there are a lot of us that have felt that.

Welcome to the forum.

 

[Ink]

Welcome.
What are some of your favorite novelists and philosophers?

   
Hello!

Hm, I guess my favourite writers are Tolkien, Austen, Bronte (Jane Eyre is my all-time favourite) and King. There are a few German authors of classic literature but I'm not sure whether they are well known outside of Germany.
I don't have a favourite philosopher. Until now I liked them all more or less. If I had to choose one I'd choose Sokrates, though. "Scio nescio" (even though grammatically wrong ) seems to me like an advice many people should consider at a daily basis.

Best regards
-Ink



Also thanks for you all welcoming me

[font=Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif]Yeti1980[/font]
[font=Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif]Yeti1980[/font]

 

[Alyosha]

Hm, I guess my favourite writers are Tolkien, Austen, Bronte (Jane Eyre is my all-time favourite) and King.

Very nice. Jane Eyre and Pride and Prejudice are outstanding books with some of my favorite literary characters.

 

[Skydancer37]

Ink,

It's so lovely to come across minds like yours. I only wish there could have been technology around for the likes of Van Gogh, or Foster Wallace's in the world. It's like an astronomer finding a new star constalation, or a new species of fungi for those party animals down in shroomland.

I made an account here because of this post. I had to make one so I could tell you, you're beautiful, unique mind might make you feel alone sometimes, but that's just because minds like yours are often misunderstood greatly. It's a thing of wonder to me. Most find minds like yours intimidating, or they impure some kind of projection onto you. I'm a seeker of knowledge and when I see another mind like mine, but greater even, it's so exciting!

It's a very lonely world when you share a mind similar to that  of hardly anyone else in the world. I would love to meet more people with such a rich and vast mind. If you ever want a conversation about quantum mechanics or how Indra and Thor are the same character snfrom separate pantheon s, have you correct someone and them not spit their dummy, say, "I don't know, tell me more", I would LOVE to drink your mind!

Ahem, thank you for you,

Emma x

 

[BeyondShy]

Well, yes, that is me. I know it sounds bad.
- Ink

As nice as I can may I please ask you what in the world are you talking about? Exactly what sounds bad? You seem like a very intelligent and thoughtful person with a good imagination and a variety of interests. Forgive me for not agreeing with your self assessment.

 

[ewomack]

I can relate to a lot of what you posted above. I love to read, think, walk, chat and look at life from the bigger perspective rather than the smaller. Like you, I haven't found being this way a social advantage. It seems to distance a lot of people.

But be yourself. You can't be anything else.

 

[rebeccarose]

Welcome! It seems many of us can relate to your views on friendship and superficiality. I'm also naturally introverted but crave connection. Do you mind my asking what you do? Do you have a job/a goal you'd like to work towards that gives you some drive?

Having one good friend is incredibly valuable in itself, especially if you've been careful to keep only the most genuine connections. This happens as we get older - we shed a lot of old friendships and focus on our own lives and priorities.

It's nice that you can list an abundance of things you do like - even though you mention having nothing to look forward to. I'd be more than up for discussing literature with you some time. It seems as though we have similar tastes in books!

 

[Ink]

Ink,

It's so lovely to come across minds like yours. I only wish there could have been technology around for the likes of Van Gogh, or Foster Wallace's in the world. It's like an astronomer finding a new star constalation, or a new species of fungi for those party animals down in shroomland.

I made an account here because of this post. I had to make one so I could tell you, you're beautiful, unique mind might make you feel alone sometimes, but that's just because minds like yours are often misunderstood greatly. It's a thing of wonder to me. Most find minds like yours intimidating, or they impure some kind of projection onto you. I'm a seeker of knowledge and when I see another mind like mine, but greater even, it's so exciting!

It's a very lonely world when you share a mind similar to that  of hardly anyone else in the world. I would love to meet more people with such a rich and vast mind. If you ever want a conversation about quantum mechanics or how Indra and Thor are the same character snfrom separate pantheon s, have you correct someone and them not spit their dummy, say, "I don't know, tell me more", I would LOVE to drink your mind!

Ahem, thank you for you,

Emma x

    
Hello Emma,

sometimes I think that, too. Just imagine their possibilities. But then again they lived in a world that seemed so new in comparison to ours. So many ideas and thoughts about humanity and the world, so much room for evolution of the mind, so many new inventions. I envy them, sometimes at least, when I forget the lack of good hygiene and the fact that women did not have it easy back then. 
I am a realist but I also tend to romanticize things Maybe that is because I am not happy here and now, I don't know.
Thank you for writing me and thank you for your compliment. I am not sure if I live up to it, though. I'm not a great person. I often lack enthusiam and sometimes it feels like I'm still searching for what I want in life, trying to solve the puzzle of my own personality, my goals, my abilities.

Best regards
-Ink

---

Well, yes, that is me. I know it sounds bad.
- Ink

As nice as I can may I please ask you what in the world are you talking about? Exactly what sounds bad? You seem like a very intelligent and thoughtful person with a good imagination and a variety of interests. Forgive me for not agreeing with your self assessment.

Don't get me wrong. I actually like myself and would not want to be any other way, even though being me brings me more melancholy than happiness. I have never met a person outside my family who appreciates who I am, who trys to get to know me in the first place. I'm not very loud and open and that seems to be a 'bad' character trait in general terms of society.

---

But be yourself. You can't be anything else.

I know. And odd enough, I like, who I am. I just don't like that people like me are rather rare.

 

[Ink]

Welcome! It seems many of us can relate to your views on friendship and superficiality. I'm also naturally introverted but crave connection. Do you mind my asking what you do? Do you have a job/a goal you'd like to work towards that gives you some drive?

Having one good friend is incredibly valuable in itself, especially if you've been careful to keep only the most genuine connections. This happens as we get older -  we shed a lot of old friendships and focus on our own lives and priorities.

It's nice that you can list an abundance of things you do like - even though you mention having nothing to look forward to. I'd be more than up for discussing literature with you some time. It seems as though we have similar tastes in books!

Hello and thanks for welcoming me =) 

I go to university, my major subject is german philology and my goal is to pass, really. I like my courses well enough but I am a candidate for anxiety and one of my greatest fears is to fail in life (for me that equals my education). 

Yes, whenever I'm with her I feel lighter and happy and not at all alone. I kept a few 'lighter' acquaintances just for show but I'm super uncomfortable and dissatisfied when talking to them.

Sure! I'd be happy to! Currently I have an immense workload cause the examns for this semester are already knocking on the door, but after that, I'd drop you a message, if that is alright?

Best regards
-Ink

 

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Sup