I was exhausted when I went to bed last night. I had a decent sleep, full of my usual weird dreams, and woke at 8:30 this Sunday morning. The sun is still fairly low and the air outside is fresh and coolish. The birds are busy and making their usual morning sounds. I’m going to go to the farmer’s market shortly and get some fruit and veg. I’m feeling quite peaceful. I don’t know what the day has in store for me, but a little rain is expected. I’ll probably do some exercise in my shed, read my latest book. I’m starting with a cup of green tea.
Why am I writing this? Well, it wasn’t all that long ago that I couldn’t even get motivated to get out of bed. I woke with despondency and bitterness and resentment, etc, etc. I’d roll over and wallow and let myself churn unnecessary stuff over in my head. I don’t do that anymore.
What’s changed? All I can put it down to is making a decision. I didn’t want that life anymore. I began exercising. Consistently. Some days were excruciatingly difficult to get moving, but I made myself. Today, months and months later, my brain processes things differently, better, and my body feels so much better for it too. It takes time for such actions to take effect, but my motivation was not to waste away in my chair, or get sick and bedridden.
I don’t have any real goals. I just get through one day at a time. I’ve begun interacting with new people, learning to socialise all over again. I’m retired with plenty of free time so I’ve submitted an application form at the local Buddhist temple to do some volunteer work in their garden. Why there? Well it’s very close to me, they’re seeking and it’s a peaceful environment. No pressure.
I was always expecting a lot from other people. Not unduly so in my opinion, but I felt they didn’t come up to what I thought was appropriate. Now, I’ve learned to not expect much at all. I don’t put myself through angst anymore. I’ve learned to let go for the most part.
Do I still have bad days, moments? Sure do, but I accept that they are just that, moments, and they will pass. In the meantime I just busy myself with distracting things and try to make the most of the day that is before me.
My situation is not the same as everyone else’s, I know that, but I took responsibility for my own life and began changing what I could and it seems to be a lot more bearable today.
Why am I writing this? Well, it wasn’t all that long ago that I couldn’t even get motivated to get out of bed. I woke with despondency and bitterness and resentment, etc, etc. I’d roll over and wallow and let myself churn unnecessary stuff over in my head. I don’t do that anymore.
What’s changed? All I can put it down to is making a decision. I didn’t want that life anymore. I began exercising. Consistently. Some days were excruciatingly difficult to get moving, but I made myself. Today, months and months later, my brain processes things differently, better, and my body feels so much better for it too. It takes time for such actions to take effect, but my motivation was not to waste away in my chair, or get sick and bedridden.
I don’t have any real goals. I just get through one day at a time. I’ve begun interacting with new people, learning to socialise all over again. I’m retired with plenty of free time so I’ve submitted an application form at the local Buddhist temple to do some volunteer work in their garden. Why there? Well it’s very close to me, they’re seeking and it’s a peaceful environment. No pressure.
I was always expecting a lot from other people. Not unduly so in my opinion, but I felt they didn’t come up to what I thought was appropriate. Now, I’ve learned to not expect much at all. I don’t put myself through angst anymore. I’ve learned to let go for the most part.
Do I still have bad days, moments? Sure do, but I accept that they are just that, moments, and they will pass. In the meantime I just busy myself with distracting things and try to make the most of the day that is before me.
My situation is not the same as everyone else’s, I know that, but I took responsibility for my own life and began changing what I could and it seems to be a lot more bearable today.
Therefore, when I'm working and I see trash or random objects that needs sorting, I just pick it up on my way to destination. Little by little, it gets the job done. I don't even think about it anymore, I just do it on the spot. As long as I'm consistent, it works like a charm ^^
