Now, I know this isn't true. Sure, I've had some issues in school growing up. But I have BA which is probably more than I can say for this woman. Anyway, I was at the laundromat and was looking at this woman because I thought she was attractive and she was looking at me. All of a sudden she starts saying things like "what are you looking at" "go away" and "you're retarded." At first I tried to deflect it but it didn't work. I said to her something like "you must be having a bad day." She goes no I'm not, I'm having a great day, your retarded. Go away." How do we make sense of things like this when people insult us so unnecessarily.
A woman called me "retarded" today
- Thread starter Mike413
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SophiaGrace
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You're retarded actually means "you're ridiculous"
Mike413 said:
Immature insults with lack of thought or understanding. I think the response on the same level would be something like "Takes one to know one!".. but I wouldn't respond with this, I'd just brush it off with thoughts of how much of a ******* idiot they are.
Locke
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Maybe she really was having a bad day, thought you were going to harass her and said that stuff as a defense mechanism. Or maybe she was just crazy. Whatever it was, you don't seem "retarded" to me, and I'm sure the people who know you don't think that about you. Its probably not worth trying to make sense of.
Is she ten years old? I shouldn't say that, I've known ten year old's with better manners. Just try not to let it bother you, you don't know her and she doesn't know you so her insults are baseless and in themselves retarded.
*Sammy*
Well-known member
Point her out i'll go bitch slap her!
Some people in this world its just like seriously what is wrong with you brain? You seem like a good guy to me Mike not 'retarded' at all i know it hurts but ignore the crazy bint!
Some people in this world its just like seriously what is wrong with you brain? You seem like a good guy to me Mike not 'retarded' at all i know it hurts but ignore the crazy bint!
VanillaCreme
Well-known member
I think she meant it as in saying, "You're stupid." But instead of using the word "stupid" she used "retarded" with the wrong meaning.
Either way, just ignore her. She probably was having a bad day and didn't want to be bothered. She should have kept her mouth closed, but many people don't think before they speak, much less think about the words that do come out of their mouth.
Either way, just ignore her. She probably was having a bad day and didn't want to be bothered. She should have kept her mouth closed, but many people don't think before they speak, much less think about the words that do come out of their mouth.
Well when I tried to call her out on it she said she wasn't having a bad day.
On top of this another woman didn't want to do texting with me. Am I the only guy on here who seems to have women on his bad side lately? Lol.
On top of this another woman didn't want to do texting with me. Am I the only guy on here who seems to have women on his bad side lately? Lol.
Case
Well-known member
Your rational mind was probably saying, "I did nothing wrong. She's over-reacting here." But your more emotional mind was probably looking for acceptance, validation, and her sudden rudeness took you by surprise.
It's okay to feel surprised or even a little hurt by this. However, by no means are you the true cause. Her reaction was, most likely, an irrational attack based on past situations she has found herself in. This was, IMO, her preemptive strike against whatever stress she was expecting from you because she's had to deal with some stuff in the past and took her past baggage and slammed it over your head.
If someone had said this to me, I'd probably be so surprised that my natural reaction would be to laugh. Not at her, necessarily, but so my brain could release the tension that such a ridiculous verbal assault would have created in me.
As for your final question, there's no "making sense" out of people like this. The best thing we can do is to hope that we aren't caught up any further in their wake of destruction.
Chalk this up to "Wrong Woman/Wrong Time," and don't let this affect your behavior in the future.
It's okay to feel surprised or even a little hurt by this. However, by no means are you the true cause. Her reaction was, most likely, an irrational attack based on past situations she has found herself in. This was, IMO, her preemptive strike against whatever stress she was expecting from you because she's had to deal with some stuff in the past and took her past baggage and slammed it over your head.
If someone had said this to me, I'd probably be so surprised that my natural reaction would be to laugh. Not at her, necessarily, but so my brain could release the tension that such a ridiculous verbal assault would have created in me.
As for your final question, there's no "making sense" out of people like this. The best thing we can do is to hope that we aren't caught up any further in their wake of destruction.
Chalk this up to "Wrong Woman/Wrong Time," and don't let this affect your behavior in the future.
she sounds a bit retarded herself 
- she doesn't even know you, how can she tell? and, more important, you don't even know her, why do you care? Easier said than done, but the only thing you know here is that is was NOT personal, not against you, because she has no idea of who you are. Her insults say nothing about you and a lot about her.
- she doesn't even know you, how can she tell? and, more important, you don't even know her, why do you care? Easier said than done, but the only thing you know here is that is was NOT personal, not against you, because she has no idea of who you are. Her insults say nothing about you and a lot about her.
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SophiaGrace
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No one should ever say the word retarded. It's hurtful for people who have intellectual disabilities. There's no reason it should be in anyone's vocabulary.
ardour
Well known loser
She sounds like an awful person.
On other hand you probably shouldn't stare at strangers.
On other hand you probably shouldn't stare at strangers.
Inspire
Active member
Mike413 said:
I bet she said that as a defense and didn't want to talk to anyone about it due to her terrible mood and attitude. Like someone else on here said, I wouldn't stare at strangers. Just a quick glance would do.
It' not your fault really. We all have moments where people are just nuts an speak their "opinions" out loud! She doesn't know you, and remember, if she got to know you better, she would see you're a good (and very intelligent!) person. Keep your chin up. 
LeaningIntoTheMuse
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You know, I was raised to not use that word except to describe someone who has, say, Downs Syndrome. It's like the "You're gay" insult. Don't turn something positive into a negative.
I think the woman in question is just immature, but of course she will never see that. It's something that 13 year olds say, not grown ass adults.
I think the woman in question is just immature, but of course she will never see that. It's something that 13 year olds say, not grown ass adults.
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SophiaGrace
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LeaningIntoTheMuse said:
It's not even used clinically anymore by professionals because people turned it into such a negative hurtful word for those that deal with it.
The term now is Intellectual Disability.
Better to know how she is ahead of time before you even spoke to her. lol.
On a more serious note, please don't let that get to you. She obviously has a mouth on her and while maybe you made her feel uncomfortable, there was no good reason for her to lash out at you like that. Nothing wrong with finding someone attractive.
On a more serious note, please don't let that get to you. She obviously has a mouth on her and while maybe you made her feel uncomfortable, there was no good reason for her to lash out at you like that. Nothing wrong with finding someone attractive.
Naleena
Well-known member
She sounds mental. What person in their right mind would act like that? Id think she had a mental problem.
On other hand you probably shouldn't stare at strangers.
Well, you have a point. Maybe I was looking at her longer than I should have. I've seen people do it to me too though but it's usually big tough looking guys who want to bait me into a fight. Lol.
In this case however, I really wasn't staring at her any longer than she was staring at me. If she didn't want me to look at her she shouldn't have kept looking back. She was obviously baiting me as well.
[It's something that 13 year olds say, not grown ass adults.]
True. I'm not sure how old she is. My guess would be late twenties to early thirties. Her maturity level was about six grade if she's lucky though. I'll just added it to my list of the meanest things women have ever said or done to me(up there with having my balls twisted off(not literally just a threat from some girl in the sixth grade)and being called ugly, gay etc).
I've come to realize that basically only "hurt people hurt people." I'm trying to get beyond that kind of thing and not get caught up in the game of responding to ignorance. TO be honest at first I tried the "why are you so angry" strategy(without using those words). However, reasoning with people like this doesn't work. They don't care about what you have to say or your feelings they just want to attack. It's really quite sad. I actually feel sorry for her.
Well, you have a point. Maybe I was looking at her longer than I should have. I've seen people do it to me too though but it's usually big tough looking guys who want to bait me into a fight. Lol.
In this case however, I really wasn't staring at her any longer than she was staring at me. If she didn't want me to look at her she shouldn't have kept looking back. She was obviously baiting me as well.
[It's something that 13 year olds say, not grown ass adults.]
True. I'm not sure how old she is. My guess would be late twenties to early thirties. Her maturity level was about six grade if she's lucky though. I'll just added it to my list of the meanest things women have ever said or done to me(up there with having my balls twisted off(not literally just a threat from some girl in the sixth grade)and being called ugly, gay etc).
I've come to realize that basically only "hurt people hurt people." I'm trying to get beyond that kind of thing and not get caught up in the game of responding to ignorance. TO be honest at first I tried the "why are you so angry" strategy(without using those words). However, reasoning with people like this doesn't work. They don't care about what you have to say or your feelings they just want to attack. It's really quite sad. I actually feel sorry for her.
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