A woman called me "retarded" today

[VanillaCreme]

Well when I tried to call her out on it she said she wasn't having a bad day.

Sure she said that, but you don't really know. She also called you a name that wasn't true. So, I wouldn't take her word for necessary truth.

I think she meant it as in saying, "You're stupid."

Oh thanks. That makes me feel a whole lot better. Lol.

I totally wasn't calling you stupid. I should just club myself. :club: My apologizes if you took it as such.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Mentally challenged people aren't always stupid.

Would you call Einstein stupid? Because he had autism.

Her IQ was probably under yours, anyway. Someone call me a retard, I'll ask them what their IQ score is?

 

[ladyforsaken]

Now, I know this isn't true. Sure, I've had some issues in school growing up. But I have BA which is probably more than I can say for this woman. Anyway, I was at the laundromat and was looking at this woman because I thought she was attractive and she was looking at me. All of a sudden she starts saying things like "what are you looking at" "go away" and "you're retarded." At first I tried to deflect it but it didn't work. I said to her something like "you must be having a bad day." She goes no I'm not, I'm having a great day, your retarded. Go away." How do we make sense of things like this when people insult us so unnecessarily.

That was totally uncalled for. I'd just ignore that as a crazy ass baseless comment made by someone who's had a rough time before that or got up on the wrong side today.

 

[Limlim]

Now if you'd had an 80s style boombox you could have whipped it out and thrown some black eyed peas on and blasted out "Lets get retarded in here" as she said it.

Opportunity lost!

[video=youtube]

 

[VanillaCreme]

Now if you'd had an 80s style boombox you could have whipped it out and thrown some black eyed peas on and blasted out "Lets get retarded in here" as she said it.

Opportunity lost!

You know, they even edited that song for some stations. It's "started" on some versions.

 

[duff]

On other hand you probably shouldn't stare at strangers.


Well, you have a point. Maybe I was looking at her longer than I should have. I've seen people do it to me too though but it's usually big tough looking guys who want to bait me into a fight. Lol.

In this case however, I really wasn't staring at her any longer than she was staring at me. If she didn't want me to look at her she shouldn't have kept looking back. She was obviously baiting me as well.

---

[It's something that 13 year olds say, not grown ass adults.]


True. I'm not sure how old she is. My guess would be late twenties to early thirties. Her maturity level was about six grade if she's lucky though. I'll just added it to my list of the meanest things women have ever said or done to me(up there with having my balls twisted off(not literally just a threat from some girl in the sixth grade)and being called ugly, gay etc).

I've come to realize that basically only "hurt people hurt people." I'm trying to get beyond that kind of thing and not get caught up in the game of responding to ignorance. TO be honest at first I tried the "why are you so angry" strategy(without using those words). However, reasoning with people like this doesn't work. They don't care about what you have to say or your feelings they just want to attack. It's really quite sad. I actually feel sorry for her.

---

it probably was the starring that bothered her.

I spend my life eyeing up women but when they look at me I tend to look away. Some people don't like strangers starring at them.

 

[Mike413]

Well when I tried to call her out on it she said she wasn't having a bad day.

Sure she said that, but you don't really know. She also called you a name that wasn't true. So, I wouldn't take her word for necessary truth.

I think she meant it as in saying, "You're stupid."

Oh thanks. That makes me feel a whole lot better. Lol.

I totally wasn't calling you stupid. I should just club myself. :club: My apologizes if you took it as such.

I didn't take it that way but to me stupid isn't much of an improvement on retarded and both are pretty negative and hurtful things. It would be like if someone said they weren't mad at you they were angry at you.

---

On other hand you probably shouldn't stare at strangers.


Well, you have a point. Maybe I was looking at her longer than I should have. I've seen people do it to me too though but it's usually big tough looking guys who want to bait me into a fight. Lol.

In this case however, I really wasn't staring at her any longer than she was staring at me. If she didn't want me to look at her she shouldn't have kept looking back. She was obviously baiting me as well.

---

[It's something that 13 year olds say, not grown ass adults.]


True. I'm not sure how old she is. My guess would be late twenties to early thirties. Her maturity level was about six grade if she's lucky though. I'll just added it to my list of the meanest things women have ever said or done to me(up there with having my balls twisted off(not literally just a threat from some girl in the sixth grade)and being called ugly, gay etc).

I've come to realize that basically only "hurt people hurt people." I'm trying to get beyond that kind of thing and not get caught up in the game of responding to ignorance. TO be honest at first I tried the "why are you so angry" strategy(without using those words). However, reasoning with people like this doesn't work. They don't care about what you have to say or your feelings they just want to attack. It's really quite sad. I actually feel sorry for her.

---

it probably was the starring that bothered her.

I spend my life eyeing up women but when they look at me I tend to look away. Some people don't like strangers starring at them.

---

True but if you are an attractive woman(even if you have a crappy personality like she did)you have to expect that kind of thing. I don't like being stared at either but there's not much you can do about it. If I said to someone "why are you staring at me" they could easily say something like "I could ask you the same question?" The point being you have to stare to know that others are staring at you. It's like if someone accusing you of bumping into you(which I had happen about a month ago)and tells you to watch where their going. Well they didn't watch where they were going either. As they say "it takes two to tango" and that's the bottom line. If you don't like people doing something to you then don't do it to them. Usually if people keep looking at me I assume they are going to be friendly and say hello. Obviously this isn't always the case. It's probably best to just ignore strangers.

In this situation this woman might have seen me talk to a woman who possibly was a bit retarded. Or maybe she didn't like the way I looked. Who knows. Some people apparently think I look funny. It's really not my problem though.

 

[duff]

Well when I tried to call her out on it she said she wasn't having a bad day.

Sure she said that, but you don't really know. She also called you a name that wasn't true. So, I wouldn't take her word for necessary truth.

I think she meant it as in saying, "You're stupid."

Oh thanks. That makes me feel a whole lot better. Lol.

I totally wasn't calling you stupid. I should just club myself. :club: My apologizes if you took it as such.

I didn't take it that way but to me stupid isn't much of an improvement on retarded and both are pretty negative and hurtful things. It would be like if someone said they weren't mad at you they were angry at you.

---

On other hand you probably shouldn't stare at strangers.


Well, you have a point. Maybe I was looking at her longer than I should have. I've seen people do it to me too though but it's usually big tough looking guys who want to bait me into a fight. Lol.

In this case however, I really wasn't staring at her any longer than she was staring at me. If she didn't want me to look at her she shouldn't have kept looking back. She was obviously baiting me as well.

---

[It's something that 13 year olds say, not grown ass adults.]


True. I'm not sure how old she is. My guess would be late twenties to early thirties. Her maturity level was about six grade if she's lucky though. I'll just added it to my list of the meanest things women have ever said or done to me(up there with having my balls twisted off(not literally just a threat from some girl in the sixth grade)and being called ugly, gay etc).

I've come to realize that basically only "hurt people hurt people." I'm trying to get beyond that kind of thing and not get caught up in the game of responding to ignorance. TO be honest at first I tried the "why are you so angry" strategy(without using those words). However, reasoning with people like this doesn't work. They don't care about what you have to say or your feelings they just want to attack. It's really quite sad. I actually feel sorry for her.

---

it probably was the starring that bothered her.

I spend my life eyeing up women but when they look at me I tend to look away. Some people don't like strangers starring at them.

---

True but if you are an attractive woman(even if you have a crappy personality like she did)you have to expect that kind of thing. I don't like being stared at either but there's not much you can do about it. If I said to someone "why are you staring at me" they could easily say something like "I could ask you the same question?" The point being you have to stare to know that others are staring at you. It's like if someone accusing you of bumping into you(which I had happen about a month ago)and tells you to watch where their going. Well they didn't watch where they were going either. As they say "it takes two to tango" and that's the bottom line. If you don't like people doing something to you then don't do it to them. Usually if people keep looking at me I assume they are going to be friendly and say hello. Obviously this isn't always the case. It's probably best to just ignore strangers.

In this situation this woman might have seen me talk to a woman who possibly was a bit retarded. Or maybe she didn't like the way I looked. Who knows. Some people apparently think I look funny. It's really not my problem though.

---

---

just shrug it off. She was an arse. Plenty of them about !

 

[Karastep]

Dont worry too much about that.some of us have been even worse but as we in afria words are not spears or even guns they cant hurt you physically just be focused with your life.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Mike, there is a difference between openly staring, and noticing and noting her beauty.

When I was a horny teenager, I would definitely stare at girls in public. This made them extremely uncomfortable, and they would avoid me.

I've learned from women about the 5 second rule. Look at her for 5 secs. If she looks back and smiles, she's interested. If she ignores you, or pretends that you aren't there, she is disinterested...for some reason. Could be she has a boyfriend. It could be that you're not her type. She could be a lesbian. Whatever.

Of course, her looking back and smiling at you isn't a clear indicator that she wants to date you, but it is a sign that she likes you, somewhat, and would be open to a conversation.

 

[Mike413]

Mike, there is a difference between openly staring, and noticing and noting her beauty.

Right. You weren't there so how do you know which one I was doing? Like I said before she could just look away. Most women look away first if they aren't interested or friendly or want to talk or whatever. Obviously this bitch had a bug up her ass.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Mike, there is a difference between openly staring, and noticing and noting her beauty.

Right. You weren't there so how do you know which one I was doing? Like I said before she could just look away. Most women look away first if they aren't interested or friendly or want to talk or whatever. Obviously this bitch had a bug up her ass.

Not to say that she was right, but calling her the b word isn't helping your case.

 

[Mike413]

Mike, there is a difference between openly staring, and noticing and noting her beauty.

Right. You weren't there so how do you know which one I was doing? Like I said before she could just look away. Most women look away first if they aren't interested or friendly or want to talk or whatever. Obviously this bitch had a bug up her ass.

Not to say that she was right, but calling her the b word isn't helping your case.

She insulted me first dude.

 

[Sarah_Lbnz]

Mike, there is a difference between openly staring, and noticing and noting her beauty.

Right. You weren't there so how do you know which one I was doing? Like I said before she could just look away. Most women look away first if they aren't interested or friendly or want to talk or whatever. Obviously this bitch had a bug up her ass.

Not to say that she was right, but calling her the b word isn't helping your case.

She insulted me first dude.

Edit: nevermind, I just read the OP.

 

[Mike413]

Some of you are starting to realize I'm not the bad guy here. She's lucky I didn't call her a b**** in person.

I had an experience a long time ago where some young woman I worked with got pissed at me and tried to get one of her male friends to "take care of me." I wound up quitting that job but she wound up getting fired. So it's always in the back of my mind that a woman thinks she can say whatever she wants and get away with it as long as she has some ********* to do her dirty work for her. That wasn't the case here but ever since the aforementioned experience I'm a bit cautious not to get too carried away and try to ignore it. We all know women can be crazy anyway. LOL.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I don't think you're a terrible person, but I do think you acted socially inappropriate.

So did she, but that doesn't excuse that you probably were sending off certain vibes. The solution is to notice women, not stare at them. How would you like to be stared at yourself? It would make you uncomfortable, right?

 

[Mike413]

Ok, well you are entitled to your opinion but you are wrong. Like I said before you weren't there so you have no basis for saying that just like she had no basis for calling me "retarded." In this case she is the one who over reacted at least initially. I'll take responsibility for allowing her to get my goat. That's about it though. I wasn't staring at her for any significant period of time. I only looked back at her later after she insulted me. It's ok to look at someone if they are making eye contact with you or talking to you which she did. But I admit I should have ignored her after she kept insulting me after I told her to have a good day(which she also ignored). This is really all I have to say about this. Time to move on.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Some of you are starting to realize I'm not the bad guy here. She's lucky I didn't call her a b**** in person.

I don't think you're the bad guy here, neither is that woman. What she did was uncalled for, but there's always a reason for something happening, otherwise, it just means she's crazy, and you didn't snap back at her which is good enough I think.

It's nice that you shared this experience, allows us to see the variety in people and their randomness. It's crazy sometimes.

So, thanks for sharing.

 

[Mike413]

[but there's always a reason for something happening, otherwise, it just means she's crazy,]


Calling her crazy would be putting it mildly because trust me there was no legitimate reason. It's one thing to think someone is staring at you but to call them retarded because of that is just absurd. She obviously had a screw loose.

---

[It's crazy sometimes.]



There's that word again. That's actually one word I haven't been called yet. I guess I'll need to work on that. I still have time.

 

[ladyforsaken]

^ Haha. Just be yourself, Mike. Not everyone will like you - and that's their problem. They can GFT with whatever they think of you. As long as you know you're doing good.