Alone I break

[user 189843]

No I'm not saying my user name, it's simply the nature of my feelings and depression. I've been alone my entire life, doesn't matter what I do or try, who I meet or anything, I remain alone and I'm convinced I will always be. I don't expect most people to understand, but I can't even properly function anymore because of it. It has broken me. It doesn't matter if I'm struggling with my issues or not, doesn't matter what I may or may not have going for me, I'm simply never good enough. I try to be a kind and caring person, and be supportive of others, and even though I want to be loved for things like that and for who I am it seems it's not enough to even spark interest. I wanted to be loved, but I know it's not in my cards. I could own the literal world right now, and everything in it, but even with that I'd still be a sad and lonely person because no one would love me.

I'm not asking for advice, I've given up in every way. I have no hope left, so I'm just ranting. The only thing keeping me alive is a lack of courage, because I'm done with this life. I don't even want love anymore, I just want that courage.

 

[user 135067]

You posted, you asked for advice. You can't expect us to just say, Hey, nice knowing you.

First and foremost, deal with your depression. That's the reason you aren't having relationships. That's the reason you can't find the strength to go on. It's chemistry. It can be fixed.

Second, when you aren't so down, you have to get out and go where the people are. The easy way is to join an interest group. What interests you? And if you say 'nothing,' that's the depression.

I have read many of your posts. You have been so bleak I haven't felt I had anything to say... and if you can't inspire ME to talk you are really bleak.

You should start a thread to ask how you might beat depression, and don't make it as depressing as most of your posts. You are looking for answers or you wouldn't be here. You don't want the people that might help you to feel so hopeless.

If I wasn't concerned this post would be blank. So take some advice. Decide that you want to fix yourself.

 

[abbynormal]

life is hard for many if not a majority. it is a cold cruel world, and hell is other people. i hadda learn how to be my own best friend.

 

[Punisher]

life is hard for many if not a majority. it is a cold cruel world, and hell is other people. i hadda learn how to be my own best friend.

That's the only way. No useless advice.

 

[Hope88]

No I'm not saying my user name, it's simply the nature of my feelings and depression. I've been alone my entire life, doesn't matter what I do or try, who I meet or anything, I remain alone and I'm convinced I will always be. I don't expect most people to understand, but I can't even properly function anymore because of it. It has broken me. It doesn't matter if I'm struggling with my issues or not, doesn't matter what I may or may not have going for me, I'm simply never good enough. I try to be a kind and caring person, and be supportive of others, and even though I want to be loved for things like that and for who I am it seems it's not enough to even spark interest. I wanted to be loved, but I know it's not in my cards. I could own the literal world right now, and everything in it, but even with that I'd still be a sad and lonely person because no one would love me.

I'm not asking for advice, I've given up in every way. I have no hope left, so I'm just ranting. The only thing keeping me alive is a lack of courage, because I'm done with this life. I don't even want love anymore, I just want that courage.

You did not ask for advice so I’m not going to give you one.
I could rant for hours on how cruel life can be. Our ‘civilization’ is full of aggression and competitiveness. Love is a precious and rare commodity. I don’t dare to ask for it, I’m just grateful when I get the chance to experience it. I’m satisfied with companionship if that is all that I can get and that can come in many forms.
Other than that, I try to keep my hands up and my chin down. That’s how I learned to survive.

 

[okidoke]

You posted, you asked for advice. You can't expect us to just say, Hey, nice knowing you.

First and foremost, deal with your depression. That's the reason you aren't having relationships. That's the reason you can't find the strength to go on. It's chemistry. It can be fixed.

Second, when you aren't so down, you have to get out and go where the people are. The easy way is to join an interest group. What interests you? And if you say 'nothing,' that's the depression.

I have read many of your posts. You have been so bleak I haven't felt I had anything to say... and if you can't inspire ME to talk you are really bleak.

You should start a thread to ask how you might beat depression, and don't make it as depressing as most of your posts. You are looking for answers or you wouldn't be here. You don't want the people that might help you to feel so hopeless.

If I wasn't concerned this post would be blank. So take some advice. Decide that you want to fix yourself.

They didn’t ask for advice, but I agree with much of what you said.

……….It has broken me…

You certainly sound like you’re broken. And you’ve convinced yourself into a bleak outlook, like many do in similar circumstances. You’re part of a very big cohort of similarly disillusioned people. Some who address their issues manage to find some contentment. There’s no reason you can’t too. I’ve found that just being yourself and taking pleasure in the natural world can bring such contentment. Don’t “try” being this or that and spreading yourself around for virtuous reasons in the hope that karma will be kind to you. Just live life doing things that give you some joy or peace and perhaps life will be kinder to you or at least give you the perception that it is more pleasant. The world owes us nothing. NOTHING. The sooner we realise that we’re here just for the ride, the sooner we can stop having expectations and just take life as it comes and make the most of it. Make your life meaningful.

 

[abbynormal]

No I'm not saying my user name, it's simply the nature of my feelings and depression. I've been alone my entire life, doesn't matter what I do or try, who I meet or anything, I remain alone and I'm convinced I will always be. I don't expect most people to understand, but I can't even properly function anymore because of it. It has broken me. It doesn't matter if I'm struggling with my issues or not, doesn't matter what I may or may not have going for me, I'm simply never good enough. I try to be a kind and caring person, and be supportive of others, and even though I want to be loved for things like that and for who I am it seems it's not enough to even spark interest. I wanted to be loved, but I know it's not in my cards. I could own the literal world right now, and everything in it, but even with that I'd still be a sad and lonely person because no one would love me.

I'm not asking for advice, I've given up in every way. I have no hope left, so I'm just ranting. The only thing keeping me alive is a lack of courage, because I'm done with this life. I don't even want love anymore, I just want that courage.

 

[abbynormal]

i hope you are still around, even though i grok that YOU don't feel the same way. if you are still around i promise you i will just listen to what you have to say.

 

[SquareBin]

going for a walk in the sunny forest is a good start to a day. it's not an advice, just a suggestion

 

[abbynormal]

vigorous sweaty panting exercise has kept me from going off the deep end.