Also Feeling Lost In This World With No Direction

[Retrospective81]

Ok this isn't going to be a negative rant. I'm not going to be pointing fingers at society or bad mouthing people but here goes.

A member here knows what sort of a mess I've got myself into. I feel I am relying on others to make me happy and I become so emotionally attached to people beyond belief and when thins change or they don't go my way. I et angry, feel abandoned and isolated.

It's just I feel so lost with everyone and everything around me. So..Disconnected. I no longer have the motivation to do anything in the world out there. it just seems all overwhelming. people who've seen my posts here know my opinions and like I said, not going to go there.

I'm developing serious social anxiety problems even to the point where I don't wanna be on Skype anymore and talk to people. 2 members here knows what's going on and of course for decency and confidentiality, I will not name those two people.

My friend recently dropped off the face of the earth (it was his birthday last Sunday. tried calling him, his gf even answered and said he was in the shower, she would've told him as I know her 100%) it feels like he doesn't want me to be around. many of you wills ay 'he might be busy' but let's be realistic. it doesn't take two minutes to pick up a phone and inform me what his plans were or if he was unable to do anything. Before last weekend he always used to do this. So no excuse there.
This amongst other factors has left me feeling very wary of people. I work with the public so I'm gonna have to try hard to keep a lid on things. When I walk down the street or in the outside world, I do not even want to make 'eye contact' with anyone anymore. I just feel like the game if life is rigged against me. Especially after the last...4 years maybe?

I'm just not sire what to do. I love my own company and thoughts more and more and with the last few days I'm learning tis not worth to tell people your true feelings about things. I've learnt its not worth telling people too much about yourself.

Anyone been here?

 

[Sci-Fi]

Wow...that...you know what with the exception of a few things it feels like I wrote that myself. I know exactly where you are coming from.

Got a question for you. With what happened with your friend do you blame yourself for maybe him doing what he did? In some small part that maybe if you laid off or did something a bit different things wouldn't be the way they are?

I work in customer service and yeah it is really hard sometimes to keep yourself in check. Just focus on your work and tasks, keep yourself as busy as you can and your mind distracted so you don't have to be in your own head.

 

[Retrospective81]

Thanks for the support Sci Possibly thins could've been better with my friend. I blame both of us to be honest really. In the past He and I have both acted a but stubborn But he more than I. Also, He was never punctual on meeting me to the pub and never seemed to be sorry or want to improve it. He'd say he'd meet me a certain time and not show up until sometimes 2 hours later. That was really frustrating. Yeah I'm just honna keep my head down today Ill let you know who it went

 

[Naleena]

Retrospective, I'm sorry your having such a hard time. For the most part people can't deal with their own ****, much less someone elses. Your right not to tell just anyone. You should be careful who you share your heart and feelings with when your not in the best of places. As open as I consider myself, only two people on this forum really know the sad me. One is Eve and the other is a friend who has my adoration for being there for me. If you need to talk, I'm here. You can pm me and say whatever you feel. I won't judge you. I know a lot of it is the pain talking. My inbox is always open to you and yes, I know how it feels to be ignored and neglected or only have people talk to you because they need something. Things can get better for you, you just have to figure out how to get out of this rough spot. I wish you wisdom and healing. <3

 

[Retrospective81]

Retrospective, I'm sorry your having such a hard time. For the most part people can't deal with their own ****, much less someone elses. Your right not to tell just anyone. You should be careful who you share your heart and feelings with when your not in the best of places. As open as I consider myself, only two people on this forum really know the sad me. One is Eve and the other is a friend who has my adoration for being there for me. If you need to talk, I'm here. You can pm me and say whatever you feel. I won't judge you. I know a lot of it is the pain talking. My inbox is always open to you and yes, I know how it feels to be ignored and neglected or only have people talk to you because they need something. Things can get better for you, you just have to figure out how to get out of this rough spot. I wish you wisdom and healing. <3

Thank you Naleena. That's very kind-hearted of you. I messaged your inbox. Ill let you know in more detail as we speak. very soon. Much love <3

 

[Poguesy]

I'm just not sire what to do. I love my own company and thoughts more and more and with the last few days I'm learning tis not worth to tell people your true feelings about things. I've learnt its not worth telling people too much about yourself.

Because you're telling the wrong people?

 

[UGLYDUCKLING]

Your friend is a complete fool! Don't let those people break who you are! Stand strong,value yourself and try to look else where! trust me,I've been there and all I learned is that I don't like people much.I am certain that there are better things for you out there,just don't let those people take that away from you! I believe that you have a high level of empathy and wouldn't dream of ignoring your friend like what he did to you...You have great morals and you need to share your values and ethics with the world.How would you do that if you have difficulties in making eye contact with people? When you fall down,get right back up and stand stronger than you were before! I really wish that someone else was there to tell me that when I was going through something similar but I would really urge you at least TRY to be a bit more stronger.I know when you share a lot with people,you give them something special too! Your trust and expectations but most people don't value that at all.I would agree that you would need to do that a little less but don't close yourself all together. Try not to let things get to you like that...Individuals like me more when I go out with an "I hate people" attitude... lol

Stay Awesome,
the ugly duckling