Am I wrong?

[wolfblood]

Am I wrong for not sharing more info with people?
I love making new friends but some people ask uncomfortable questions and I feel guilty for avoiding their questions. Am I wrong to push away potential friends just because they start asking personal questions on day 1?
Sometimes I feel like I'm missing out on making friends because I like to keep some things to myself.
I mean, friendships are all about sharing stuff with each other? Is that necessary in order to make friends?
I'd love to know your thoughts on this.

 

[147]

No, your comfort is your prerogative.
Friendships have to develop, and there is more to a bond between people than knowing personal stuff about each other.
It can always go the other way, as well. You may start out sharing a lot of personal things, just to have the beginning friendship end after a month, and you being left regretting whatever it is you shared.

I think when you meet a moment where you're in doubt (should you share something or not?), take a step back and ask yourself first: If this friendship doesn't turn out the way I want it to, or ends prematurely, am I going to regret sharing this detail?

 

[wolfblood]

No, your comfort is your prerogative.
Friendships have to develop, and there is more to a bond between people than knowing personal stuff about each other.
It can always go the other way, as well. You may start out sharing a lot of personal things, just to have the beginning friendship end after a month, and you being left regretting whatever it is you shared.

I think when you meet a moment where you're in doubt (should you share something or not?), take a step back and ask yourself first: If this friendship doesn't turn out the way I want it to, or ends prematurely, am I going to regret sharing this detail?

Great advice! Thank you!
I will now ask myself that question, every time.

I often felt guilty for not sending people the pictures they asked or for avoiding their questions. I was always told that I'm too reclusive.
But at the end of the day I have to be ok with whatever I share, my peace of mind is more important than trying to please everyone all the time.

 

[okidoke]

You can always say “I’m not yet comfortable sharing that, but I hope to be.”

 

[wolfblood]

You can always say “I’m not yet comfortable sharing that, but I hope to be.”

Yes, indeed!

 

[147]

my peace of mind is more important than trying to please everyone all the time.

This!

 

[HellsLittleAngel]

Am I wrong for not sharing more info with people?
I love making new friends but some people ask uncomfortable questions and I feel guilty for avoiding their questions. Am I wrong to push away potential friends just because they start asking personal questions on day 1?
Sometimes I feel like I'm missing out on making friends because I like to keep some things to myself.
I mean, friendships are all about sharing stuff with each other? Is that necessary in order to make friends?
I'd love to know your thoughts on this.

I'm a very private person in my life and if someone asks me something too personal, I just tell them directly how I feel about it. I'm not a person that easily makes friends, because people are easily offended by my assertiveness. I expect respect when people talk to me. Otherwise, they'll get their feelings hurt. Friendships are earned in my life and it takes time. Never give yourself away on the first day.

 

[wolfblood]

I'm a very private person in my life and if someone asks me something too personal, I just tell them directly how I feel about it. I'm not a person that easily makes friends, because people are easily offended by my assertiveness. I expect respect when people talk to me. Otherwise, they'll get their feelings hurt. Friendships are earned in my life and it takes time. Never give yourself away on the first day.

Thank you for this!

 

[HellsLittleAngel]

Thank you for this!

You're welcome!