Are On-Line Friends BETTER than In-Person?

[August Campbell]

Are On-Line friends better than In-Person (irl)? It looks that way. Because although I have some friends irl (in real life), I still get along much better with on-line friends. Actually, just one in particular, because I meet her on line every single day. In comparison, my irl-friends are erratic so I can see them only once in a while. But my on-line friend is there every single day!
So how about any of you? Do you prefer on-line friends---even to the extent that you don't have any irl at all?

 

[TropicalStarfish]

Nothing compares to a good friend, in the flesh, in my opinion. An online friend is better than nothing though. Online friends can't pick you up from the airport, or help you out in any way, in the physical world, and vice versa.

So, it's not that one is better than the other, it's just a matter of simple proximity, when it comes to certain things. An online friend is unlikely to be visiting you in hospital, baby sitting for you, etc.. etc..

 

[Sunless Sky]

Well, I lean towards extroversion so I feel I might be a bit biased but I prefer irl friends. If I were to make a very good friend online, I would naturally at least try to meet them irl. I dunno... Something about being in the presence of someone else, meeting at a coffee shop or something for a chat in the fresh air. For me, that beats being behind a screen.

Don't mean to be most but, you said you talk with this friend every day? That's either one strong friendship or potentially something more.

 

[lotsarocks]

I don’t have any IRL friends at the moment, and though I like online friendships, I’m not sure if they’re preferable. They’re more accessible and do have a lot of pros, such as being able to talk to someone without them having to live in the same area. But they are not always online, for example, they do have lives outside the internet which is understandable.

 

[Running Alone]

No. Online friends are great, don't get me wrong, always nice to chat/text/email, etc with someone that genuinely wants to listen to you and exchange thoughts, etc, but nothing tops real life friends IMO, and the more the better - especially if you're chronically, hopelessly single. In fact I believe if you surround yourself with enough really good, close, real world friends and family, you can pretty much get by in life without the romance a gf/bf/wife/husband provides....almost anyway. I've been single for eons and probably always will but my real life friends keep me so busy and distracted i don't really care any more.

 

[Finished]

Friends IRL can easily screw you IRL. But, online friends usually can't do any harm to you IRL. So, online friends are safer. Well, unless you give them information that they can use against you. So, don't do that!

However, I've noticed that online friends quickly and easily ghost your ass if / when you say something that they do not like. So, it's difficult to have real, honest discussions with them.

But, I've had really bad luck with friends period, either online or offline. They use me and then when I stop helping them they ghost me. I haven't had a friend IRL for over a decade. I haven't even had a person to speak to IRL in over a decade. So, maybe things have improved? I doubt it. Ha! ha!

Friends suck! Ha! ha! Maybe real friends exist. But, I've never had one. I've never seen a real friendship that others have either. Everybody seems to be out for themselves. Sure people help each other sometimes. But, that's usually to make themselves feel better. I've found that people tend to just use each other. If they each get something out of it then they stay "friends." If not then the friendship is over.

IMO, it's best to learn to be alone.

 

[TheRealCallie]

I have great friends in person and great friends online. To me, neither is better, they both offer something different. Yeah, obviously, if your friend lives hundreds/thousands of miles away from you, you can't go out together, but that doesn't mean they can't be just as valuable as the friends that can. And just because a person can come give you a shoulder to cry on doesn't mean that an online friend can't give you a figurative shoulder. Both have value. I wouldn't trade any of my online friends for anyone in real life and I wouldn't trade my real life friends for anyone online.

 

[ringwood]

Being a hard-core introvert, I find it a lot easier to express my real, genuine self to people I’ve met online. When I’m online, I have the chance to think about what I want to say and how best to express it. There’s none of the awkardness and social anxiety that often creeps up in real life. On the other hand, as some have already mentioned, there’s definitely nothing quite like having a good in-real-life friend to hang out and do stuff with.

I don’t make IRL friends easily, so I really value my online friends. Some of my online friends probably know me better than friends I’ve known for years and there’s a few I’d be happy to meet in-person if they lived close enough (there’s a few people here too that I think would be cool and fun to hang out with). I only have one or two IRL friends, neither of whom live nearby, so they’re basically online/phone friends anyway.

 

[TropicalStarfish]

Being a hard-core introvert, I find it a lot easier to express my real, genuine self to people I’ve met online. When I’m online, I have the chance to think about what I want to say and how best to express it. There’s none of the awkardness and social anxiety that often creeps up in real life. On the other hand, as some have already mentioned, there’s definitely nothing quite like having a good in-real-life friend to hang out and do stuff with.

I don’t make IRL friends easily, so I really value my online friends. Some of my online friends probably know me better than friends I’ve known for years and there’s a few I’d be happy to meet in-person if they lived close enough (there’s a few people here too that I think would be cool and fun to hang out with). I only have one or two IRL friends, neither of whom live nearby, so they’re basically online/phone friends anyway.

Ever since I was young, I always found it so much easier to socialize online, through text, than in real life, voice, or video.

It feels weird to say, but, I feel like if I met, in person, any of my online friends, I feel like I'd be losing that connection with them, that I had only through text. heh

A good match in friendship would probably make physical proximity a greater gain than the loss, though, one would hope..

 

[user 148069]

online or offline, I find people difficult and unpredictable. Making friends is very challenging as I don't feel I fit in anywhere even here. I'd like to have friends but at this point it feels more comfortable being alone so that I don't accidently say the wrong things and people leave me. There's always a voice at the back of my head telling me that I can't make a single mistake in any interaction and it's better if I just isolate myself.

 

[Adamridge79]

My irrational and paranoid mindset, and the fact I'm a bit set in my ways, and I have a hard time dealing with most people, has left me friendless for quite a number of years. I don't even do well in an artificial setting. I figure if I can at least maintain basic communication with another person, I've done quite well.

 

[ringwood]

online or offline, I find people difficult and unpredictable. Making friends is very challenging as I don't feel I fit in anywhere even here. I'd like to have friends but at this point it feels more comfortable being alone so that I don't accidently say the wrong things and people leave me. There's always a voice at the back of my head telling me that I can't make a single mistake in any interaction and it's better if I just isolate myself.

I understand how you feel, Orangecat, as I often feel the same - I don't really fit in anywhere. Hence my life-long difficulty in making friends in real-life - I'm always somewhat guarded with people, obviously a defence mechanism to avoid being hurt. And I'm loathe to let people in real-life get to know the 'real' me as I'm naturally private and don't want to be judged - the online environment feels safer to me. Anyway, I just wanted to say I think you're one of the people on this site who I could see hanging out with in real life - you're a fun, witty, interesting, cat-loving gamer with a cool grumpy cat avatar that always makes me laugh.

 

[StarDust]

Setting boundaries with online friends is easier ❤ we take less risk because we invest less in the relationship.

 

[StarDust]

However, I've noticed that online friends quickly and easily ghost your ass if / when you say something that they do not like. So, it's difficult to have real, honest discussions with them.

Guilty as charged!! But this forum (or perhaps some people ) have grown on me..... not ghosting any time soon.

 

[Forgottendanfan]

Better? Probably not....but there's less pressure with online friends, at least for unsociable buggers like me.

 

[August Campbell]

But they are not always online, for example, they do have lives outside the internet which is understandable.

Actually quite the Opposite of what you said--the lady I communicate with On-line is in contact with me Every day.

 

[ManDss]

Personally Ive never met people online to consider as friends. Ive been 6 years joining to different depression forums and chat rooms and I have 0 Ive made 0 contacts, once in a while I find someone to chat in those sites, and I end up bored.

 

[Finished]

Personally Ive never met people online to consider as friends. Ive been 6 years joining to different depression forums and chat rooms and I have 0 Ive made 0 contacts, once in a while I find someone to chat in those sites, and I end up bored.

Well, IMO, you really need to take the initiative. If you hang around and wait for others to contact you, you'll be waiting a long time. Instead start reading what others write to get a feel for them. Then send them messages. Many times they'll be glad you did. That's how you meet people online. I've meet several people and continued having conversations with them outside of the various forums, well, until they ghosted me. Ha! ha! But, that's just the chance you have to take.

 

[user 188644]

Well, IMO, you really need to take the initiative. If you hang around and wait for others to contact you, you'll be waiting a long time. Instead start reading what others write to get a feel for them. Then send them messages. Many times they'll be glad you did. That's how you meet people online. I've meet several people and continued having conversations with them outside of the various forums, well, until they ghosted me. Ha! ha! But, that's just the chance you have to take.

Honestly this is the most practice what you preach **** ever lol. I always see you making an effort here and I really respect it.

 

[user 188685]

Well, IMO, you really need to take the initiative. If you hang around and wait for others to contact you, you'll be waiting a long time. Instead start reading what others write to get a feel for them. Then send them messages. Many times they'll be glad you did. That's how you meet people online. I've meet several people and continued having conversations with them outside of the various forums, well, until they ghosted me. Ha! ha! But, that's just the chance you have to take.

very true