are some people too broken to have a significant other?

[1000lifetimes]

It may or may not be a good idea to hook up, if both of you are messed up... but that's besides the point.

I disagree!! I mean you're right it MAY not be a good idea to hook up with anybody (screwed up or otherwise)! But this idea that people who are broken up inside cant fix each other?!?! I don't know about that.

Seems to me that someone who knows what it's like to be broken maya be the only one who could fix it. You wouldn't go to a manicurist for a broken hand would you? You may not find the solution to your problems, but comfort in the arms of an understanding and relatable counterpart...that sounds too good to be true.

 

[ladyforsaken]

It may or may not be a good idea to hook up, if both of you are messed up... but that's besides the point.

I disagree!! I mean you're right it MAY not be a good idea to hook up with anybody (screwed up or otherwise)! But this idea that people who are broken up inside cant fix each other?!?! I don't know about that.

Seems to me that someone who knows what it's like to be broken maya be the only one who could fix it. You wouldn't go to a manicurist for a broken hand would you? You may not find the solution to your problems, but comfort in the arms of an understanding and relatable counterpart...that sounds too good to be true.

You know what? I think my opinions on this are now more open than when I posted that. I wasn't sure if it would be a good idea but from further observations I think you make a point here and it could be a good idea, I do think that in some ways, when both parties are in a similar situation.. they seek comfort in that.. and whether it works out or not, is not for me or anyone to say, for all we know, it could be a blessing in disguise and help them both get better.

It does help to be with someone who can understand what you're going through.

 

[khaoz_ferox]

This thread has got me thinking I'm broken.

I've just come out of a long term relationship in which I got burnt bad ( I've had 2 major relationships and get cheated on 4 times over the course of both, hows that for a track record ) and now I'm finding I don't trust women.

But here's the thing, I KNOW that all women aren't the same and the two I was with don't reflect the attitudes of every woman on the planet. So why, in my mind, does the idea of getting close to a women conjure up warning signs?


I just don't get it.

 

[ladyforsaken]

But here's the thing, I KNOW that all women aren't the same and the two I was with don't reflect the attitudes of every woman on the planet. So why, in my mind, does the idea of getting close to a women conjure up warning signs?

I just don't get it.

It's only natural and human that you do feel this way after having gone through that. I'm sorry though. I really hope that with time, you can heal and move on from this and meet a woman worth your time and effort.

 

[khaoz_ferox]

It's only natural and human that you do feel this way after having gone through that. I'm sorry though. I really hope that with time, you can heal and move on from this and meet a woman worth your time and effort.

I've no doubt that in time those trust issues will heal over, I'm just not sure I even want another relationship. I'm not sure it's worth risking another broken heart.


Maybe I'll just hang around here for the rest of my days

 

[Revengineer]

Sometimes I feel like I'm broken in the sense that I'm too inexperienced in relationships for anyone to want to stick around for me. Also the fact that I'm very adverse to taking risks which really kills any attraction before there's even a chance.

 

[lonelyfairy]

Nope, there is someone for everyone. I was very broken when I met my boyfriend.

 

[Smokey]

I am beginning to believe that I am simply too broken to get into a relationship.

I don't see anybody finding me attractive enough to date, first of all. And second, I don't see myself being a good boyfriend. I think I would be terrible in bed, too.

Does anybody else feel this way?

Nope not me, I'm a good looking man and a good boyfriend, you know, the type you'd love to introduce to your parents.... and as for the last remark, that is truly a matter of opinion but I can't recall a poor report.

With the attitude you displayed in your OP Muse my man, I wouldn't get your hopes up on ever lasting love just yet...

gotta put a little more effort into moulding yourself into an upstanding guy. With good attractive qualities inside and out.

 

[Batman55]

Nope not me, I'm a good looking man and a good boyfriend, you know, the type you'd love to introduce to your parents.... and as for the last remark, that is truly a matter of opinion but I can't recall a poor report.

With the attitude you displayed in your OP Muse my man, I wouldn't get your hopes up on ever lasting love just yet...

gotta put a little more effort into moulding yourself into an upstanding guy. With good attractive qualities inside and out.

Maybe so, but I would never tell someone to give in to pride and self-celebration just so they can appear more ready to be in a relationship. That is what I see from your advice here. And I don't cut you down for it, as your advice may be right. But if society requires pride and/or arrogance for you to get anywhere, I'm sorry but I think that is extremely sick.

 

[ardour]

Some people are a better off staying single so they don't end up breaking someone else.

I get the feeling you need a thick skin to be that close to someone, be married, live with them, and thick skinned I certainly am not.

 

[ladyforsaken]

It's only natural and human that you do feel this way after having gone through that. I'm sorry though. I really hope that with time, you can heal and move on from this and meet a woman worth your time and effort.

I've no doubt that in time those trust issues will heal over, I'm just not sure I even want another relationship. I'm not sure it's worth risking another broken heart.


Maybe I'll just hang around here for the rest of my days

With time, your feelings and outlook in life might also change. You never know what the future holds. I guess for now you just let it flow and recover from the past.

 

[Smokey]

Nope not me, I'm a good looking man and a good boyfriend, you know, the type you'd love to introduce to your parents.... and as for the last remark, that is truly a matter of opinion but I can't recall a poor report.

With the attitude you displayed in your OP Muse my man, I wouldn't get your hopes up on ever lasting love just yet...

gotta put a little more effort into moulding yourself into an upstanding guy. With good attractive qualities inside and out.

Maybe so, but I would never tell someone to give in to pride and self-celebration just so they can appear more ready to be in a relationship. That is what I see from your advice here. And I don't cut you down for it, as your advice may be right. But if society requires pride and/or arrogance for you to get anywhere, I'm sorry but I think that is extremely sick.

Taking pride in keeping your mind and body in good condition is a good foundation for everyone... but if people want to slouch around and be miserable all the time then rock on, it just makes threads like this more of an exercise in self loathing than actual seeking for advice.

 

[Batman55]

Some people are a better off staying single so they don't end up breaking someone else.

finally that dose of optimism i was looking for

---

Taking pride in keeping your mind and body in good condition is a good foundation for everyone... but if people want to slouch around and be miserable all the time then rock on, it just makes threads like this more of an exercise in self loathing than actual seeking for advice.

Did I say that's what I wanted to do, and did I suggest it to anyone else?

No, I just believe excessive pride, as a requirement to attain desired goals, is a very sick notion. It looks like it might be true, unfortunately, given how the arrogant seem to take all.

 

[Smokey]

Some people are a better off staying single so they don't end up breaking someone else.

finally that dose of optimism i was looking for

---

Taking pride in keeping your mind and body in good condition is a good foundation for everyone... but if people want to slouch around and be miserable all the time then rock on, it just makes threads like this more of an exercise in self loathing than actual seeking for advice.

Did I say that's what I wanted to do, and did I suggest it to anyone else?

No, I just believe excessive pride, as a requirement to attain desired goals, is a very sick notion. It looks like it might be true, unfortunately, given how the arrogant seem to take all.

---

I'll leave you to chew on your Rusk.

 

[Batman55]

I'll leave you to chew on your Rusk.

That's a flat out insult. I don't understand how my opinion about arrogance, which is my own opinion after all and has nothing to do with you, nor was it ever implied that I thought you were arrogant, would lead you to act in such a callous way.

If it is not an insult, then perhaps I don't understand the saying, as I've never heard anyone say it. If I simply misunderstand you here, let me know.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

This is a really old thread. I'm trying to be more optimistic now.

 

[Mike510]

I feel like my last relationship ruined me. I asked her to marry me and then she left after we planned are lives together. I have gone out on several dates with other people but I just feel like none of them I can connect with like I did before, I also feel like I am just going out with friends which makes it more awkward.

 

[Sowie]

I don't think you can be too broken to have a significant other. Sometimes, two broken people find each other and find comfort and strength in each other. That could develop into love in some form and that could supply you with what you need to get the brokeness together and slowly maybe even heal you.

 

[jjessea]

I don't think you can be too broken to have a significant other. Sometimes, two broken people find each other and find comfort in each other. That could develop into love in some form and that could supply you with what you need to get the brokeness together and slowly maybe even heal you.

I'd like to believe this. I'm going to choose to believe this.

 

[raincloud]

I'm definitely too broken, and that's fine. I don't understand why people find it necessary. Honestly, I can count the number of happy couples I've met in my life on one hand, and that's just the face they put forward, so who knows? I think that if we would accept that it's not necessary to have a significant other and you're not "weird" or even "broken" (despite my use of that word in this very post) if you don't want/need/have one, I think a LOT more people would realize what fools they make of themselves just out of desperation to cling to someone.