Are you happy enough that you can you live to be single your whole life? Is it possible?

[Azariah]

topic. discuss.

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

I'm a Creative Misanthropic Introvert, so: Yes.
Being single doesn't really bother me, I'm quite used to it.

My longest relationship was 8 years, from 16 - 24.
Then I had a 3 year relationship from 24-27.
And that's basically where I got my fill.
I quit caring after I turned 30.

I'd always told myself that I wanted a relationship where the two people build a life together instead of one person just waltzing in the door of the other and being like: "Hey, cool life! Can I crash here for a while and take advantage of you so I don't have to be a responsible adult??

The later is, disappointingly the likelihood of most relationships.
I can't even be mad about it, because I just don't care anymore.
I've already been mad about it, and now I just passively accept it for what it is.

I got a tattoo on the day I accepted it, to remind myself for the future to not be a ******* and overly invest into others and to remind myself that if it's structural stability I'm looking for in life, that it's something I literally have to create for myself, and by myself.

I am getting older, I do not need the emotional validation of others in order to find emotional fulfillment within myself. Nor do I want to invest in starting a family that I cannot afford to start.

So as for happiness, I don't really define happiness as anything relating to romantic or platonic love, I define happiness by stability and healthiness. Which, is a progressive work in progress.

So far, I'm handling it better than other people I know because I actively try not to let that which detours or derails me become a permanent state of stagnation for me. I'm very much personally, internally driven by my external pressures and will to survive.

Life kind of shaped me into being the hardass that I am. Which, in this day and age, is also part of why I'm so socially reclusive. It's not my intent to run around offending and trolling people, I don't have the time and energy for that. What happens instead is that I just exist as I am, and that upsets people. So it's more worth my effort to just not socialize as much, and since I'm introverted, that works in my favor.

 

[Azariah]

I'm totally fine with being single forever now. I don't need to chase after women. They can chase me if they want. im still open sex with no strings attached or maybe a lapdance.

 

[user 176211]

This ebbs and flows with time and age. When I was in my late teens and early 20s, I was fine with having flings and casual hook ups. It was fun. And it should have been for that period of anyone's life.

But now in my late 30s, I can see the benefits of fine companionship. Your tastes change with time and sometimes you just want someone to put on the slouchy comfy sweatpants and watch mindless TV with. I know that sounds like a death sentence to anyone under 25, but one day may see it differently haha

Having said that, Yes, I KNOW people who are going through their lives making the conscious decision to be alone. Whether they are asexual or overall impacted by their earlier life experiences, or both, I can totally respect people's decision for this. Although I will say that the people who I know who are like this are very wonderful folks who have tons to offer but would rather keep it to themselves, which is completely okay.

I have lucked out and this past summer I met a wonderful woman who is seemingly everything I would have chosen in a woman. She's extremely smart (a scholar and Dr). Despite that, she is the perfect amount of goofy and we have tons of mindless fun, but also have tons of thoughtful conversations. We actually drive around and explore little podunky towns with hidden little bistros and crepe restaurants. She's introduced me to some nice things in life that I didn't feel like I would ever be a part of. But she makes me feel like I belong.

She is so amazing that it makes me wonder how I ever did and said some of the things that I said and did to women in my youthful ignorance. I am feeling halfway torn between wondering if she's some kind of test/lesson of life that I am going to lose to pay for something I did to someone at some point in time, or if its really just time to start thinking of marriage.

Anyway, that was a really long winded way of me explaining that you can live both lives in one lifetime. Be young, sew your oats, sleep around, make out, etc. One day you won't want to move as fast. Enjoy everything.

 

[beingnobody]

My common answer: yes, once you recognize, first of all, that happiness comes from the mind, and has nothing to do with anything outside, or external, and that happiness is not permanent. Don't expect it to be. Moment to moment, happiness is always possible, but it always passes.

 

[A02]

nope i hate being single

 

[Finished]

I would prefer to be married to someone that is a good match with me. However, it has proven to be impossible for me to find someoned that's a good match. So I quite looking. I've learned to become content being alone. Sometimes I love it though. There are SOOOOOO many advantages to being alone. One can be very selfish with no repercussions.

I would dread being married and stuck with someone that isn't a match or worse. My neighbor's wife is cheating on him with a loser ahole married neighbor guy because she is bored and wants attention. I'm soooo glad I'm not involved in any of that crap.

 

[11volcano]

I'm totally fine with being single forever now. I don't need to chase after women. They can chase me if they want. im still open sex with no strings attached or maybe a lapdance.

I' believe I'll be single for rest my life. I have a background that changed me for who I was and I feel I dont deserve anyone. I'm not attracted to no one in peticular

 

[Adamridge79]

Sorry...just a jump plate to see if anyone is alive and present...ok, not that sorry