Back after 7 yrs…

[KJay]

I guess I’m not “new”, but a lot changes in 7 years. Now I’m 10 wks pregnant, going to be homeless again (3x the charm), and still no friends that stuck. The “friends” I’ve made during these years fell off due to break-ups (exes friends), life changes (marriages & children), COVID, or just not being social and only texting through social media. It seems no one cares to actually SPEAK to one another and would rather converse through social media… or memes. I guess I’m too old to hang with the world as it is (35 yrs old in March).

I live in Texas now, so I literally have NO CHOICE and am forced to carry out my pregnancy and raise my baby alone. Texas law (started Sept 2021) states a ban for women to terminate their pregnancies past 6 wks…not even if said woman was sexually assaulted. Most women do not know they are pregnant at 6 wks. The scariest place I never wanted to be in for my child and myself. My family is in California and we do not communicate due to a divide happening with everyone because of the COVID vaccine. Some (me included) got the vaccine, others didn’t, so now everyone is bullying and throwing harsh words to others. I stopped communicating because everyone really showed their true colors and our family will not be the same. That’s such a toxic environment I do not want to be a part of for myself and, now, baby.
So… I’m back here again. Still 7 yrs of loneliness. Things don’t get better even when I’ve tried so d*mn hard, along with medication. Hello.

 

[Homebound]

Welcome back.

 

[KJay]

Welcome back.

Thank you Angie, appreciate it.

 

[littlefish555]

i just came back too

 

[KJay]

i just came back too

! We both came back, knowing we could find others like ourselves here. Welcome back!

 

[Minus]

I hope thing get looking better for you.
Welcome back.

 

[KJay]

I hope thing get looking better for you.
Welcome back.

Thank you so much, Minus.

 

[verticalray]

Hi!

 

[KJay]

Hi!

Hello!

 

[TheRealCallie]

Welcome back

 

[Finished]

Welcome Back! Winter time pregnancy doesn't sound fun to me. But, I really don't think pregnancy sounds fun at any time.

 

[KJay]

Welcome back

Thank you, Callie! I remember you last time I was around! I’m glad to see familiar names still here.

 

[KJay]

Welcome Back! Winter time pregnancy doesn't sound fun to me. But, I really don't think pregnancy sounds fun at any time.

Thank you, Finished! And you are so right…currently having unbearable “hot flashes” then seconds later dripping “cold sweats” to the point I have to keep changing my clothing is…something else! Plus the constant taste of iron or pennies that mouth wash doesn’t get rid of.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Thank you, Finished! And you are so right…currently having unbearable “hot flashes” then seconds later dripping “cold sweats” to the point I have to keep changing my clothing is…something else! Plus the constant taste of iron or pennies that mouth wash doesn’t get rid of.

I totally thought that said penis at first. Had to read it three times to see that it said pennies I was all....I don't remember that symptom. lol
But seriously, if you ever want to talk or just rant about pregnancy or motherhood, feel free to PM me.

 

[KJay]

I totally thought that said penis at first. Had to read it three times to see that it said pennies I was all....I don't remember that symptom. lol
But seriously, if you ever want to talk or just rant about pregnancy or motherhood, feel free to PM me.

Omg that is great!!! Thank you so much! I definitely need some validation when it comes to my symptoms because so many things are changing rapidly. My Google search history is…interesting lol.

 

[Sunless Sky]

Hey kjay, welcome back. Hope you find some respite here. We are all in this together.

What happened to the father if you don't mind my asking?

 

[Colster]

I guess I’m not “new”, but a lot changes in 7 years. Now I’m 10 wks pregnant, going to be homeless again (3x the charm), and still no friends that stuck. The “friends” I’ve made during these years fell off due to break-ups (exes friends), life changes (marriages & children), COVID, or just not being social and only texting through social media. It seems no one cares to actually SPEAK to one another and would rather converse through social media… or memes. I guess I’m too old to hang with the world as it is (35 yrs old in March).

I live in Texas now, so I literally have NO CHOICE and am forced to carry out my pregnancy and raise my baby alone. Texas law (started Sept 2021) states a ban for women to terminate their pregnancies past 6 wks…not even if said woman was sexually assaulted. Most women do not know they are pregnant at 6 wks. The scariest place I never wanted to be in for my child and myself. My family is in California and we do not communicate due to a divide happening with everyone because of the COVID vaccine. Some (me included) got the vaccine, others didn’t, so now everyone is bullying and throwing harsh words to others. I stopped communicating because everyone really showed their true colors and our family will not be the same. That’s such a toxic environment I do not want to be a part of for myself and, now, baby.
So… I’m back here again. Still 7 yrs of loneliness. Things don’t get better even when I’ve tried so d*mn hard, along with medication. Hello.

Welcome back, sorry that the circumstances were not better. Hope you don't mind me pointing our the irony, pregnant yet lonely. However, I hope that works out for you.

 

[ewomack]

Welcome back! I wasn't around when you were first around, so this is actually more of a "hello," but hopefully things work out for you and your situation. In the meantime, stick around and post!

 

[KJay]

Hey kjay, welcome back. Hope you find some respite here. We are all in this together.

What happened to the father if you don't mind my asking?

Thank you, Sky!

Well I had a 4 yr relationship with my ex. 2 years while he was in the military, 2 years out (pandemic). He has PTSD, volatile rage issues (never towards me but towards any small inconveniences), and mental health issues I cannot get him to get diagnosed because he doesn’t want to know. Family & his friends told me to “stick it out, he loves you, when he’s out of the military he will be happier, watch!” He has only gotten worse these 2 yrs since being out of the military and more depressed. The V.A. has also not been helpful during his transition to the civilian world + pandemic has his appointments pushed back. His appointments are 3 month intervals. He has rages daily and meltdowns weekly. I’ve tried endlessly to get his parents to help me get him help, but I’ve discovered that they like to sweep problems under the rug and that has enabled his behavior all his life. His mother told me this year “we thought him joining the military would solve that issue”…but years before his mom told me it was the military CAUSING him to be depressed and act out. He is also adopted, and diagnosed with A.D.D. but his mother didn’t give him his medication like prescribed as a child. I’ve been raised by aggressive and mentally unwell women in my family, so I do not want him to act this way with our child. I’ve had bad anxiety due to my family dynamics since I was 5 years old, but everyone said I was “just a nervous child”. I never want any child to be raised in fear like I was and I see this happening in the future with child if I continued with this man. Irresponsibly got pregnant…I know the date because we were intimate 1x in 2 months. We have had horrible arguments, broke up, and he kicked me out to go back to California to my family to have an abortion. He knows I’m not speaking with family, so he said that to hurt me. Before, I had been living in the guest room for 6+ months, avoiding each other, not talking to one another, as if we were ghosts. Isolating and lonely existence for us both, while waiting for his therapy appointments, staying home due to Covid, and me waiting for the end of our lease.
I now sneak back into our apartment (still have the key) when he is working, and leave to sleep in my car when it’s 6pm and he’s leaving work. So I guess I’m not homeless if I have a car to stay in.

 

[Sunless Sky]

Thank you, Sky!

Well I had a 4 yr relationship with my ex. 2 years while he was in the military, 2 years out (pandemic). He has PTSD, volatile rage issues (never towards me but towards any small inconveniences), and mental health issues I cannot get him to get diagnosed because he doesn’t want to know. Family & his friends told me to “stick it out, he loves you, when he’s out of the military he will be happier, watch!” He has only gotten worse these 2 yrs since being out of the military and more depressed. The V.A. has also not been helpful during his transition to the civilian world + pandemic has his appointments pushed back. His appointments are 3 month intervals. He has rages daily and meltdowns weekly. I’ve tried endlessly to get his parents to help me get him help, but I’ve discovered that they like to sweep problems under the rug and that has enabled his behavior all his life. His mother told me this year “we thought him joining the military would solve that issue”…but years before his mom told me it was the military CAUSING him to be depressed and act out. He is also adopted, and diagnosed with A.D.D. but his mother didn’t give him his medication like prescribed as a child. I’ve been raised by aggressive and mentally unwell women in my family, so I do not want him to act this way with our child. I’ve had bad anxiety due to my family dynamics since I was 5 years old, but everyone said I was “just a nervous child”. I never want any child to be raised in fear like I was and I see this happening in the future with child if I continued with this man. Irresponsibly got pregnant…I know the date because we were intimate 1x in 2 months. We have had horrible arguments, broke up, and he kicked me out to go back to California to my family to have an abortion. He knows I’m not speaking with family, so he said that to hurt me. Before, I had been living in the guest room for 6+ months, avoiding each other, not talking to one another, as if we were ghosts. Isolating and lonely existence for us both, while waiting for his therapy appointments, staying home due to Covid, and me waiting for the end of our lease.
I now sneak back into our apartment (still have the key) when he is working, and leave to sleep in my car when it’s 6pm and he’s leaving work. So I guess I’m not homeless if I have a car to stay in.

Do you have any plans for the future? I know you are not speaking with your family but can you move in with them? At least until the baby is born? I cant imagine this kind of stress is good for the baby.

You said his anger is never directed at you, that's a good sign at least right? Doesn't it show he must at least care about you a little bit?

I don't mean to pry so you don't have to answer me if you don't want to.