Bob's rants & randomness

[Bob Arctor]

[youtube]NUmJfkTaVA8[/youtube]

 

[Bob Arctor]

I don't understand what's going on with me. I recently quit smoking pot (43 days now). In the first 2 weeks it was tough: insomnia, loss of appetite, anxiety, amplified chronic pain...all that mess. Then I started to feel better. I was taking supplements, eating well, sleeping better and doing tai chi. Overall, the shadow of my substance abuse and self neglect was lifting. I felt clear headed and healthier; I was ready to take on the world again.

Within the last 2-3 weeks however I seem to be stuck in a vicious cycle. My brain is so foggy it's really hard to remember exactly when or how it started. Maybe it's from a disrupted sleeping pattern that I haven't really recovered from yet. All I know is that I've been feeling physically and emotionally worse every day. The anxiety, depression, insomnia and chronic pain have returned with a vengeance. I feel just as awful and out of it now as when I was using drugs and neglecting my body.

I understand that it will take a while for my system to get back to normal. I realize there will be ups and downs along the way. I just don't understand the severity of this down. Where did I go wrong and what action do I take? How can I do right when I don't know what the wrong was (rhetorical)?

I'm not giving up, not by a long shot. I just wanted to vent. It's just really frustrating when I'm trying my best to be healthy and it feels like my efforts are having the opposite of their desired effect.

 

[Barbaloot]

(((hug)))

 

[Bob Arctor]

(((hugberb)))

 

[Bob Arctor]

I've been feeling a lot better since I made my last post in here. The day after I felt worse, but it started to turn around after that. It's difficult to put my finger on exactly what the difference was. I started taking vitamins more regularly so that's one possibility. I started practicing tai chi every day instead of every other day. More so than those things it almost feels like I just willed myself to get better...it's hard to say.

When I was at my worst it was like being taken over by a split personality. It was kind of like having a headache, only I would describe it as more of a mental opaqueness. My brain felt like it was made out of concrete, and every stimulus just seemed to bounce off my perception and become negative energy. I hated the person I was becoming but just couldn't seem to break away. This isn't the first time I've gone through a cycle like this, but I was more self aware this time. Maybe being able to better recognize the change that was taking place helped me turn things around faster. It's hard to say for sure, but I thought the experience was worth noting.

 

[Bob Arctor]

[youtube]h8_wlfAu274[/youtube]

 

[Bob Arctor]

Snow fort, phase 1.

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The snow was so deep this only took me and my sister about an hour of shoveling. Now we let it sit overnight and then hollow it out once it's settled/solidified. This type of snow shelter is called a quinzhee.

 

[Bob Arctor]

[youtube]h1RXDEW9XxE[/youtube]

 

[Bob Arctor]

I've come to the conclusion that I will never remember how to spell certain words as long as I live.

 

[Bob Arctor]

[youtube]4NZdggNUvq0[/youtube]

 

[Bob Arctor]

Please don't kick me with crampons on.

 

[BrokenInside]

How are you doing now with out smoking?

 

[Bob Arctor]

How are you doing now with out smoking?

Pretty good, there are still ups and downs. The main thing is sleeping. Pot was a pretty good sleep aid for me, as I've always been prone to insomnia since I was little. I can't take any other herbal supplements or pharmaceutical sleep aids because they make my skin itch like crazy. It's some weird immune system thing that an allergist has been trying to figure out for a while.

On the plus side it's been over 2 months so I'm 100% confident that I can pass a drug test. I've been wanting to get a job with the electrical union for a while and now and using pot was the major road block to that. I went and applied at the union hall today and should be working within the month. I can't wait to get back out there and earn some money.

 

[BrokenInside]

Glad to know about it You will pass the test for sure. Would you please explain your insomnia? You cant sleep at all or sleep little?

 

[Bob Arctor]

Glad to know about it You will pass the test for sure. Would you please explain your insomnia? You cant sleep at all or sleep little?

It's kind of random. Sometimes I can't fall asleep until very late, or can't fall asleep despite being exhausted, or wake up after only having slept for 3 hours or so and can't get back to sleep. On an unrelated note:

[youtube]qWCxTMeC2xg[/youtube]

 

[Lilianna]

^^^^^^LOL^^^^^^ That made my day!

 

[BrokenInside]

i cant see the picture.
Did you check non-drug sleep therapies?

 

[EveWasFramed]

Ever tried melatonin for sleep?

 

[Barbaloot]

Ever tried chloroform for sleep?

 

[Zak]

Who is this Bob Arctor? I see only this guy's rants in ALL nowadays. This guy should be banned for trolling