Bored for lack of a better word

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aceface0

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Lonely doesn't accurately describe what I'm feeling but it was close enough so I figured I'd try this forum. I've got plenty of friends and can usually find someone to talk to about the typical teenager ********, but as soon as you question existence and talk about your nihilistic thoughts people back off really fast. It's like I've got two lives. My happy normal life and then the other one where everything is pointless and humanity is the worst possible thing that could have happened. None of these thoughts make me want to kill myself or other people it's just a strange acceptance that no one else seems to understand. It doesn't even really make me upset. My periods of what others would probably consider depression are the most productive periods of my life. Sure I ignore any work I have to do and avoid most people but internally I'm the most profound I've ever been. Not having these dark periods is the worst thing I can possibly think of.
 
It's the dark periods that put our minds to thinking right?
If everything goes well we don't really have to stand still and realize or understand what we're doing.
Looking at it like that, to some point all philosophers must be unhappy or displeased to say the least.

Anyway, I can kind of get into what you're saying.
Luckily I have a friend who's very much into philosphy, so we can talk about deeper things too.
I'd be so annoyed if I could only talk about trivial matters.
Maybe you're missing a friend like that. And in that way, you are kind of lonely.

In any case, welcome to the forums.
 
First of all, welcome! :)

I definately know what you mean (even though I'm miserably lonely, haha). I think that some people tend to back off at subject whice they might see as negative or "dark". Personally I don't understand why, but maybe it's instinctivly, maybe it's easier for some people to deal with these subjects and thoughts? *shurgs*

Oh, and I can also relate to what you're saying about the dark / depressive periods. I think they are valuable, in a way. Sometimes when I've felt really, really messed up, I've also felt emotions like never before, it's a very pure state of mind and I definately appreciate being able to feel like that. I might just be weird though. ;)

Sorry for rambling on, I hope these forums will be of use to you in some way. :)

/Terminus
 
I totally get that, in fact though I might not be as socially active as you are, I am doing quite well. In fact whenever I am around people for too long I need to be just alone and whenever I am alone for too long, I just need to be around people. It's a very strange cycle.

And as far as talking philosophy is concerned, I am blessed in that I have access to a couple of friends who are most of the times willing to engage me in my pseudo-philosophical insights. I love filmmaking and am someday going to become one (one way or the other). It is strange that you don't have people to talk to. Somehow I expect filmmakers to be interested in some kind of philosophy. A director has a unique way of looking at world and that is where his/her style of direction stems from. I can't imagine an artist without that side to him/her.
 
Welcome aceface, hopefully you can find people here to relate to.

somniloquy said:
In fact whenever I am around people for too long I need to be just alone and whenever I am alone for too long, I just need to be around people. It's a very strange cycle.

Wow, that's me!
 

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