Lonely doesn't accurately describe what I'm feeling but it was close enough so I figured I'd try this forum. I've got plenty of friends and can usually find someone to talk to about the typical teenager ********, but as soon as you question existence and talk about your nihilistic thoughts people back off really fast. It's like I've got two lives. My happy normal life and then the other one where everything is pointless and humanity is the worst possible thing that could have happened. None of these thoughts make me want to kill myself or other people it's just a strange acceptance that no one else seems to understand. It doesn't even really make me upset. My periods of what others would probably consider depression are the most productive periods of my life. Sure I ignore any work I have to do and avoid most people but internally I'm the most profound I've ever been. Not having these dark periods is the worst thing I can possibly think of.