welcome to the forum Joyce. Thx for sharing your situation with us.
without knowing enough about your dynamic, and each of your, it's a little tricky to advise you thoroughly, so there's lots of questions we could ask you, but it's up to you how much you'd elaborate and divulge. I guess the most important thing to ask you is, do you still love him and love him enough that you actually DO want to stay with him? Have you discussed the issue with him? Told him what concerns you about your relationship with him? Are you interested in remaining with him, but having your own life, and would he be okay with that? That may or may not include having a secondary relationship. Couples have all sorts of consenting open relationships, or just discreet ones too. If you have needs he's not meeting, he needs to know, or not and you just do everything in secret. So many variables here. My wife and sleep in different rooms for better sleep and the fact that we're estranged. We live under the same roof, but live our own lives, but occasionally share experiences because we're still affable. It's not ideal and my needs aren't getting met, but I can't financially afford to leave while we still have two kids at home, or even without them without getting more funds in our lives. It comes down to how much you want to compromise, or sacrifice, in your life. He may have genuine reasons for his behaviour, but that doesn't mean you should accept his thinking or join him in his way of thinking; so you might agree to go to an event together and you might stay and revel on while he returns home, and he may accept that if you talk it out with him. If he's a jerk about things, well, perhaps it's time to consider life apart from him or you might send yourself crazy and end up really resenting him. Conversation is important in any case. Air needs to be cleared and thoughts shared and worked out.
