Cheaters?

[Drew88]

So I do not know if this is the right place to post this, but I would like some opinions. Should a cheater (or by extension a person that the person cheats on with) be outed? On the dating site I tried outing the person as well as the person she cheat with, but my account got ban from posting and my post deleted. I understand that i would be shaming them, but it seems like it would be an act that you would like to know about someone before you enter a serious relationship with them, but thats just me i guess.

 

[The Good Citizen]

Do you have any personal involvement with either of them? It's no ones business plus could put people's well being in danger without knowing all the facts. It's not yours or anyone else's job to be a moral judge on the lives of others. In my opinion.

 

[Drew88]

Do you have any personal involvement with either of them? It's no ones business plus could put people's well being in danger without knowing all the facts. It's not yours or anyone else's job to be a moral judge on the lives of others. In my opinion.

Take away the fact that cheating is right or wrong, and instead look at that fact that it would be a vital piece of information that one should know if they are about to enter a relationship. Let the people who is about to enter the relationship make up their minds about it being right, wrong, a problem, or a one time thing. It is something that isn't always a one time thing. As you well know from my past post, I am/was hurt. Maybe i am looking for a sense of justice.

 

[Sci-Fi]

I am/was hurt. Maybe i am looking for a sense of justice.

That's the first thing I thought of when I read your post. Even though it would seem like the right thing to do, I agree with Citizen. Those "dating" sites are full of cheaters. There are some honest decent people on them but also cheaters looking for a quick hookup or one night stand. I know a guy who was on one just so he could hookup and try out different ethnicity of people.

Unless you know them personally and want to protect a friend from getting involved it's best to stay out of strangers business. You can just get yourself tangled into a web you'd rather not be in.

 

[The Good Citizen]

I don't know anything I haven't read all your past posts. So you were the aggrieved party, I see. Well... Urgh dunno, I can see why you would want to. I think having been on the wrong end of it I would say now it's best to try and put it behind you but at the time I did everything I could to ruin the other person, not my ex the third party. We'd been together years, kids he was a work associate who was too close to us both and took advantage when things became strained and had no other interest than an affair. Even while trying to patch it up he didn't walk away. I hated him, told his girlfriend and almost got him the sack for gross indecency at work. I'm a forgiving sort but I honestly wouldn't piss on him if he was on fire perhaps the only grudge I've ever held. People make mistakes and it hurts when it's aimed at you but it doesn't mean they will always be the same in future. You just gotta be honest with yourself and decide if they deserve retribution I guess, were they weak, unhappy, were they remorseful after or were they just laughing at you. I guess it's your call.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Do you have any personal involvement with either of them? It's no ones business plus could put people's well being in danger without knowing all the facts. It's not yours or anyone else's job to be a moral judge on the lives of others. In my opinion.

Take away the fact that cheating is right or wrong, and instead look at that fact that it would be a vital piece of information that one should know if they are about to enter a relationship. Let the people who is about to enter the relationship make up their minds about it being right, wrong, a problem, or a one time thing. It is something that isn't always a one time thing. As you well know from my past post, I am/was hurt. Maybe i am looking for a sense of justice.

A sense of justice depends on the people involved. If you weren't one of them, you have no idea what that entails. Personally, I think cheating is terrible, and I'd rather completely walk away from a relationship than to ever go behind someone's back. However, unless I'm in that situation, I wouldn't know. People have no idea what leads anyone to cheat. We don't know what goes on behind closed doors. It could have been a horrible situation that someone was in, or it could be just someone wanting to get a little something extra on the side. We don't know.

 

[Walley]

the dilema I see is how can it be policed?
what is to stop someone from making such claims about other members that may be unfounded?
someone may go on a date and then not call them, so the jilted person starts going to all the dating sites pointing fingers saying" he's a cheater" just for spite.
I bet the staff of these sites makes it a general rule to avoid it all together solely based on that possibilty.

 

[Loser#1]

Suck It up. Why ********* some guy from blowing out a whore. He's helping you out by taking that one off the books

 

[Bones]

Personally, I think people should mind their own business; however, I do understand wanting justice to prevail because cheating is wrong.

 

[Parabolani]

I don't think you should have judged them, just because someone cheats on their partner doesn't mean they should never be able to have a relationship.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Dating sites are made for dating????
Some people date lots of people at the sametime and gose through people.

WTF???
If you and her have some sort of serious relationship or a committment..then what in the hell
are you still on a dating for? Obviously.....
It's like the kettle calling the kettle black.....FFS

 

[Drew88]

Do you have any personal involvement with either of them? It's no ones business plus could put people's well being in danger without knowing all the facts. It's not yours or anyone else's job to be a moral judge on the lives of others. In my opinion.

Take away the fact that cheating is right or wrong, and instead look at that fact that it would be a vital piece of information that one should know if they are about to enter a relationship. Let the people who is about to enter the relationship make up their minds about it being right, wrong, a problem, or a one time thing. It is something that isn't always a one time thing. As you well know from my past post, I am/was hurt. Maybe i am looking for a sense of justice.

A sense of justice depends on the people involved. If you weren't one of them, you have no idea what that entails. Personally, I think cheating is terrible, and I'd rather completely walk away from a relationship than to ever go behind someone's back. However, unless I'm in that situation, I wouldn't know. People have no idea what leads anyone to cheat. We don't know what goes on behind closed doors. It could have been a horrible situation that someone was in, or it could be just someone wanting to get a little something extra on the side. We don't know.

I guess a sense of peace about what happen is what i more meant.
I DO know why she cheated. Maybe the relationship had to end, but that is hardly a way to end a relationship.

the dilema I see is how can it be policed?
what is to stop someone from making such claims about other members that may be unfounded?
someone may go on a date and then not call them, so the jilted person starts going to all the dating sites pointing fingers saying" he's a cheater" just for spite.
I bet the staff of these sites makes it a general rule to avoid it all together solely based on that possibilty.

Chalk one up for another thing you have to "suck it up"

Suck It up. Why ********* some guy from blowing out a whore. He's helping you out by taking that one off the books

Would not say this, but agree with this.

Personally, I think people should mind their own business; however, I do understand wanting justice to prevail because cheating is wrong.

So you would not want to know if the person you are interested in has a history that MAY make them a little bit more untrust worthy?

I don't think you should have judged them, just because someone cheats on their partner doesn't mean they should never be able to have a relationship.

Not Judging them, nor did I say they should never be in a relationship, i think it would be nice to know ahead of time, ask I guess.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Dating sites are made for dating????
Some people date lots of people at the sametime and gose through people.

WTF???
If you and her have some sort of serious relationship or a committment..then what in the hell
are you still on a dating for? Obviously.....
It's like a crackpot calling the kettle black, FFS

Justice???? Please stab me with a fork.

 

[Drew88]

Dating sites are made for dating????
Some people date lots of people at the sametime and gose through people.

WTF???
If you and her have some sort of serious relationship or a committment..then what in the hell
are you still on a dating for? Obviously.....
It's like the kettle calling the kettle black.....FFS

*sigh* I met her on a dating site,
we starting dating,
I deleted my dating site accounts,
she cheated on 10/15,
I open a new account on 10/16,
had to wait 3 days to post a new forum,
today posted what I said in OP,
WATCH WHAT YOU ACCUSE.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

K.....you started dating her and then????
You own her now...OIC

K...youre single now. Sign up on as many dating sites as you want.
Date grips of women at the sametime or one at a time...IDK
Too simple?

 

[Drew88]

I don't know anything I haven't read all your past posts. So you were the aggrieved party, I see. Well... Urgh dunno, I can see why you would want to. I think having been on the wrong end of it I would say now it's best to try and put it behind you but at the time I did everything I could to ruin the other person, not my ex the third party. We'd been together years, kids he was a work associate who was too close to us both and took advantage when things became strained and had no other interest than an affair. Even while trying to patch it up he didn't walk away. I hated him, told his girlfriend and almost got him the sack for gross indecency at work. I'm a forgiving sort but I honestly wouldn't piss on him if he was on fire perhaps the only grudge I've ever held. People make mistakes and it hurts when it's aimed at you but it doesn't mean they will always be the same in future. You just gotta be honest with yourself and decide if they deserve retribution I guess, were they weak, unhappy, were they remorseful after or were they just laughing at you. I guess it's your call.

I am just going to avoid her, thats all

the dilema I see is how can it be policed?
what is to stop someone from making such claims about other members that may be unfounded?
someone may go on a date and then not call them, so the jilted person starts going to all the dating sites pointing fingers saying" he's a cheater" just for spite.
I bet the staff of these sites makes it a general rule to avoid it all together solely based on that possibilty.

another thing to sallow I guess.

K.....you started dating her and then????
You own her now...OIC

K...youre single now. Sign up on as many dating sites as you want.
Date grips of women at the sametime or one at a time...IDK
Too simple?

So because that other person doesn't own you, you should cheat just because you can instead of just say "we are though" or "I think we should see other people" to end the relationship? OIC

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Well...Maybe that's her way of telling you...she's through with you. Actions speaks louder than words sometimes.
Some women dont know how to let guys down...or they keep them on a leash. IDK her...Like i say, maybe
she's just dating different men at this piont in time of her life and not ready to settle down or make a commitment
to anyone.

I was dating this chick once. We hang out, party or whatever.
I didnt ask her to be my GF, an item, or a couple...ect.
a week later some dude got into a bar fight with me saying she was his GF becuase she started kissing me.
I was like O fucken really??? Your GF??? The one Ive been ******* for months?

She wasnt hiding anything. She was just dating. I wasnt her BF.
Every so often I see her with other people at the clubs.
We're mature and had an understanding.....Our relationship didnt developed into something serious.
She was 29. I was only 19. I had to grow up fast.lol

Cheating while in a marriage or a committed relationship...When it's clear to both partners they're a couple...
Been on the recieving in of that ****.....

 

[Drew88]

Well...Maybe that's her way of telling you...she's through with you. Actions speaks louder than words sometimes.
Some women dont know how to let guys down...or they keep them on a leash. IDK her...Like i say, maybe
she's just dating different men at this piont in time of her life and not ready to settle down or make a commitment
to anyone.

I was dating this chick once. We hang out, party or whatever.
I didnt ask her to be my GF, an item, or a couple...ect.
a week later some dude got into a bar fight with me saying she was his GF becuase she started kissing me.
I was like O fucken really??? Your GF??? The one Ive been ******* for months?

She wasnt hiding anything. She was just dating. I wasnt her BF.
Every so often I see her with other people at the clubs.
We're mature and had an understanding.....Our relationship didnt developed into something serious.
She was 29. I was only 19. I had to grow up fast.lol

Cheating while in a marriage or a committed relationship...When it's clear to both partners they're a couple...
Been on the recieving in of that ****.....

it was a committed relationship, for better clarification.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

K....

Obviously, you still have feelings for her.
You can heal from it. You can move forward. I know it's possible.
You can love again. You can date different women or even get back with her again someday.
I know all these things are possible. It was possible for me.....

Justice??? No....
Anger??? Yes...
Peace??? Yes...

No matter how much and hard I bashed my so call freind face in ( i almost killed him) The past could never be unchanged.
Vengence,..I wanted vengence
The anger I felt sometimes lead me into some very unhealthy situations and actions.
Other times I was able to channel my anger toward something positive.
It would take many years or decades for my wounds to heal.
Many many more lessons in the journey of my life.

All we can do is move forward. Right, wrong or indiffernce.
I cant beat up myself nor beat up on her for the many poor decisions and mistakes we both had made.
She knows her own mistakes. I know mine. I need not remind her nor talk about it anymore.
Whats done is done. Im not her god, judge or jury.
Peace, happiness and love.... These too are chioces I must make everyday.
My love for her is greater than my anger. She loves me too. i piss her off sometimes too.
Life gose on.....

 

[Parabolani]

OP, you did the wrong thing that's why they banned you from the site. It's not up to you to come out and say "this person is a cheater, consider that before dating them".