Confidence

[Mr. Sir]

As a result, any little bumble you make in life, people will notice it



It's just tiring, trying to do everything 100% perfect.

 

[Mysis]

This really shouldn't be such a social issue.

For me the topic of my relationships or lack thereof never comes up unless I bring it up.

Maybe you should just stop telling people openly that you've never been in a relationship if you feel they're judging you this harshly, and instead, just not mention it?

Or maybe you're hanging around people who aren't doing you any good and you need better friends who are going to be more understanding and less accusing.

Or maybe they're judging you so harshly because you keep bringing it up to the point where they think you're complaining, and this is their way of spurring you to improve yourself and fix your problems.

If you look at other guys who are in healthy relationships, they're far from perfect. Look at the statistics on how many women go through abusive relationships. Doesn't sound like those men were quite perfect...

The way you feel on the inside will always influence the way you act or respond on the outside. I think your problems may extend beyond what you do and don't do in your daily routines...

 

[Minus]

For me the topic of my relationships or lack thereof never comes up unless I bring it up.

Right, i have no idea what the relationship status is of most of the 20 year olds that i know. It isn't something that concerns me unless it is something they decide to talk about.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Agreed with Mysis. Also, it seems to me you want to be a robot. No one can be 100% perfect. It's unrealistic. And in my opinion there's nothing wrong with never having a relationship at any age. Not everyone has to be in one by a certain age. Have one when you're ready.

 

[evanescencefan91]

ohh *hugs scorates x*
no one deserves to be alone

a lot of times it isn't even your habits, and why the hell would the gpa affect your dating status, trust me it doesn't.

Sometimes it's just bad luck. One of my friends she's 19 and super awesome but she's never had a boyfriend before.

Confidence is tricky, but my take on it is, I know I'm not the ****, but thinking I am make's it 10 times easier to get through the day

have you ever tried asking a girl out before? I know it's hard and it can be big blow to get rejected, but really that's the worst that could happen you get rejected, sometimes it's hard to get over the freeze up


but just go for it

okay you are the ****, you are the freakin badass stud that ladies love

go for it!!

and if it doesn't work out feel sad take a long shower sleep for a day or two, get over it and then go for it again ( with another girl of course)

best of luck
and for our ever on going quest for a girlfriend

--evfan gives socraties x +5 confidence and charisma

 

[Naleena]

When people meet a 20-year old or over who has not had a relationship, they think "****** up". Don't try to be all nice about it, that's just what people think.

As a result, any little bumble you make in life, people will notice it like a hawk, and jump on it and say "NO WONDER YOU DONT HAVE A GIRLFRIEND, YOU ******* LOSER"

You pretty much have to lead a perfect life (eating right, not smoking, being polite, doing all your homework, working hard, dressing well, working out) in order for anyone to ignore your incel. Because people will use any of these things you do wrong to point out a reason why you don't have a girlfriend, telling you you deserve it.

It's just tiring, trying to do everything 100% perfect. I feel extremely guilty when I sleep late or smoke a cigarette or eat fast food. I feel like a stupid immature kid who deserves his problems.

Here is my revised version of how I think your post could read to be more intune with such things. My opinion only but, do have a look see.

***
When people who are very nieve and don't know thier ass from a hole in the ground meet a 20-year old or over who has not had a relationship, they think "****** up". Don't try to be all nice about it, that's just what people without a lick of sense think.

As a result, any little bumble you make in life, people will notice it like a hawkbecause they have nothing better to do and judge people on the dumbest of things, and jump on it because they themselves apparently don't have a life eitherand say "NO WONDER YOU DONT HAVE A GIRLFRIEND, YOU ******* LOSER"
As Eleanor Rosevelt said,"Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.

You pretty much have to lead a perfect life (eating right, not smoking, being polite, doing all your homework, working hard, dressing well, working out) in order for anyone to ignore your inceland even then that may not work because some people just thrive off others failures..especially if they were good up until said incel. It makes for better gosip and drama,ya know. Because childish,ignorant people will use any of these things you do wrong to point out a reason why you don't have a girlfriend, telling you you deserve it so they can feel better about their own self (and thier screwups)and by pointing your fuckups out, they take the spot light away from thiers. Clever little devils, aren't they?

It's just tiring, trying to do everything 100% perfect. And the best thing is that no one has to because everyone ***** up. I don't care who you are or how perfect you appear. As long as your feet are made of clay...your gonna **** up. The important thing is to learn from it and do better and depending on where you are and your choices in the past, it may take a while.I feel extremely guilty when I sleep late or smoke a cigarette or eat fast food because I may have allowed others opinions to become more valuable than my own. Like Eleanor Rosevelt said,"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Do what you feel in your heart to be right- for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't. I feel like a stupid immature kid who deserves his problems but have faith in me. I have the ability to change. I'm not a lost cause. I am not what those people say. I just can't see that nor can i see yet that as Eleanor Rosevelt said" What you don't do can be a destructive force." But I do sense it and thats why I come here. I look for answers because it does matter to me what I become and because I care, I will find my way

Watch your thoughts,kiddo. They are the biggest enemy you have. Some time we have to ask ourselves..is this REALLY how things are or how we percieve them to be? Oh, and I found a quote that spoke to me today..wanna hear it? And you'll never guess who it's by Yes, you know who. Here it is "We are afraid to care too much, for fear that the other person does not care at all. " That's me sometimes. Especially in certain circumstances. Hope I didn't offend you. Hang in there. Your gonna be the hero!

 

[VanillaCreme]

When people meet a 20-year old or over who has not had a relationship, they think "****** up". Don't try to be all nice about it, that's just what people think.

As a result, any little bumble you make in life, people will notice it like a hawk, and jump on it and say "NO WONDER YOU DONT HAVE A GIRLFRIEND, YOU ******* LOSER"

You pretty much have to lead a perfect life (eating right, not smoking, being polite, doing all your homework, working hard, dressing well, working out) in order for anyone to ignore your incel. Because people will use any of these things you do wrong to point out a reason why you don't have a girlfriend, telling you you deserve it.

It's just tiring, trying to do everything 100% perfect. I feel extremely guilty when I sleep late or smoke a cigarette or eat fast food. I feel like a stupid immature kid who deserves his problems.

Here is my revised version of how I think your post could read to be more intune with such things. My opinion only but, do have a look see.

***
When people who are very nieve and don't know thier ass from a hole in the ground meet a 20-year old or over who has not had a relationship, they think "****** up". Don't try to be all nice about it, that's just what people without a lick of sense think.

As a result, any little bumble you make in life, people will notice it like a hawkbecause they have nothing better to do and judge people on the dumbest of things, and jump on it because they themselves apparently don't have a life eitherand say "NO WONDER YOU DONT HAVE A GIRLFRIEND, YOU ******* LOSER"
As Eleanor Rosevelt said,"Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.

You pretty much have to lead a perfect life (eating right, not smoking, being polite, doing all your homework, working hard, dressing well, working out) in order for anyone to ignore your inceland even then that may not work because some people just thrive off others failures..especially if they were good up until said incel. It makes for better gosip and drama,ya know. Because childish,ignorant people will use any of these things you do wrong to point out a reason why you don't have a girlfriend, telling you you deserve it so they can feel better about their own self (and thier screwups)and by pointing your fuckups out, they take the spot light away from thiers. Clever little devils, aren't they?

It's just tiring, trying to do everything 100% perfect. And the best thing is that no one has to because everyone ***** up. I don't care who you are or how perfect you appear. As long as your feet are made of clay...your gonna **** up. The important thing is to learn from it and do better and depending on where you are and your choices in the past, it may take a while.I feel extremely guilty when I sleep late or smoke a cigarette or eat fast food because I may have allowed others opinions to become more valuable than my own. Like Eleanor Rosevelt said,"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Do what you feel in your heart to be right- for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't. I feel like a stupid immature kid who deserves his problems but have faith in me. I have the ability to change. I'm not a lost cause. I am not what those people say. I just can't see that nor can i see yet that as Eleanor Rosevelt said" What you don't do can be a destructive force." But I do sense it and thats why I come here. I look for answers because it does matter to me what I become and because I care, I will find my way

Watch your thoughts,kiddo. They are the biggest enemy you have. Some time we have to ask ourselves..is this REALLY how things are or how we percieve them to be? Oh, and I found a quote that spoke to me today..wanna hear it? And you'll never guess who it's by Yes, you know who. Here it is "We are afraid to care too much, for fear that the other person does not care at all. " That's me sometimes. Especially in certain circumstances. Hope I didn't offend you. Hang in there. Your gonna be the hero!

Owned. I agree with all the purple.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

lmao...I ate fastfood, smoke ciggs, got ******* face, didn't have a a dime in my pocket, wasn't going to school, I was wearing ripped jeans and worn
tennies, **** i even had just gotten bailed out jail the sameday and a woman asked me out.hahahaaaaa

Attitude...man
I had a fucken attitude...and I love beautiful women.

Some people might said that I didn't give a ****...maybe? And **** those ass holes anywho.
At the sametime I wasn't worrying about a lot of **** either.

I still have a fucken attitude
if people don't like me..they can eat **** and die, i don't really give a ****.hahahaaaa
**** thier good graces. I'm nobody's fool or pawn.

people putting other people down to make themelves feel better are fucken dime a dozen.
As ****** up as it was growing up with an abusive parent...at a very young age...on the flip side of that. i knew life wasn't all rossie and i also intuitively knew
I don't have to buy into other people's ******** or had to learn how to have thick fucken skin.

You know....my teachers were always say..."what's up with this kid?...**** always gose in one ear and out the other with him"
It was my intuition at work. I saw the fucken box they were trying to ream me into..hahahaaa
They were trying to ream a fucken round peg into a square..So i rebel
So i got punished more...tired to beat the **** into me...hahahahaaa
Then have the fucken nerves to tell me i was ****** up.lmao

i ma perfectly ****** up..hahahaaaa

See...man i already did my personal moral inventories...I know what my assets and liabilities are.
I can piont them out. I know what they are. I work on my liabilities not to please other fucken people...man. I do it for me.
It's like...I got clean and sober for me. I did it for me not anyone else.
I didn't do it to get accepted or fit in. i didn't do it becuase it was the right or wrong thing to do...I did it for me. It was something I needed and wanted to do for myself.

And I've also learned to laugh at myself...man. I can be a fucken dork or retard at times.hahahahahaaa
Once i can laugh at myself...what people think or saY about me has no fucken power so whatever. I don't get tugged anymore.
i make stupid ass jokes to make friends sometimes...I don't take myself too serious all the freaken time. Light heart or light spirited.
They'll say ..."dude check that out, it's totally awesume"
I'll say...."What the ****??? that's totally retarded...Oh yeah sorry my bad, my fucken eyes are fucken slanted i can't see so good out of them"...hahahaaaa
It's something about self-acceptence....I'm okay with me.

Btw..all the women that asked me out are cuacasian, blonded hair, blue or hazel eyes. Very beautiful ..and had other guys chasing them.

Also..Six months ago, I was unemployed, didn't have a dime in my name. Chelle called me. I was up front with her about my situations.
She didn't run. She loves me for me...I know what love is.

 

[Badjedidude]

When people meet a 20-year old or over who has not had a relationship, they think "****** up". Don't try to be all nice about it, that's just what people think.

Actually, one of the coolest, nicest, most stand-up good guys that I know is a consummate relationship failure and bachelor. And he's 40. I wish I could wave a magic wand and get him a woman, but nothing just seems to work out for him. *shrug*

My point is that some people just end up being shorted in life...life is NOT fair, not for anyone. And some people do get the short end of the stick...but THAT IS NO REASON TO LET IT DESTROY YOU AS A PERSON. This friend of mine...I would trust him with my life, and I would give mine for him in a second. He's an awesome guy, and he refuses to let his singleness define him.

I think that's pretty ******* heroic. And it's an example to follow.

 

[Brian]

I will say we meet a little bit of resistance and a few road bumps here and there.

But dude, it's not the world of scorn you make it out to be. Otherwise BJD wouldn't talk to that guy he mentioned, and I wouldn't have any friends at all. Sometimes they tease me about it and say I need to ball up and talk to girls, but I tease them right back so it's fine (and at the end of the day, they really just want to see me have somebody...that's just how they show they care).

 

[Minus]

You've got to accept the truth though. Maybe my age isn't a big deal. But 26 and over, and you've never been seen in a relationship... people will think you're gay or a pervert who rapes little boys.

That may be the truth of how you think, but i don't recall having that thought.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

You've got to accept the truth though. Maybe my age isn't a big deal. But 26 and over, and you've never been seen in a relationship... people will think you're gay or a pervert who rapes little boys.

Or just a downright creepy, disgusting person.

Stop thinking so god damn much what other people think about you.

You're letting a bounch of ******** renting space in your head.
It burns up so much freaken time and energy from you...then you end up doing nothing.
Then you do nothing and nothing changes...then it feeds on itself in a cycle.
Then you get all these damn depressive and self defeating thoughts...then you feel like **** even more...and on gose the cycle.

Juses man...they're not going to pay your bills, bleed for you,
cry your tears or even wipe your fucken ass for ya...
This is straight up truth and facts.

You're going hinge your life and happiness on what you think what people think about you?
Think about this for a minute.
It dosn't make any sense or is healthy for ya.
Use your brain and head for you..not against you.
it's simple common sense...it's your life and living. It's not fucken rocket science.

Save the other aynalization thinking for solving mathematic equations, science or whatever inventions you get into.
Learn how to use your brain in an appropricate manner.

if you want a GF...go out and get one. Do whatever it takes. You just sitting around thinking this or that is not getting you closer to having a GF and having what you want.
It's simple.

 

[Mysis]

How the hell do you make the jump from "Hasn't been seen with another women" to "Probably rapes little boys"?

That's ridiculous...

Who are all these people who are so concerned about your relationship status? Normal people do not give two ***** what your relationship status is, or has been in the past. In fact, with out you directly coming out and saying something, they have no way of knowing what your love life has been like...

It's not like these people are watching you 24/7. How do they know you've never been with a woman? Just cause they haven't seen her? That's a pretty piss poor assumption since plenty of couples decide that they just don't have the same interests but get along great when they're alone together. Or maybe you're in a long distance thing? Stats say that a little more than half of college relationships are long distance.

There's far more rational assumptions that people would make, if they were going to make any assumptions at all, which they probably wont. People have more important **** to worry about than trying to assume the worst of you...

The older you get, the more mature your peers will be, and the less anyone will give a **** about anything you do that you haven't gone and told them about.

 

[Steel]

You've got to accept the truth though. Maybe my age isn't a big deal. But 26 and over, and you've never been seen in a relationship... people will think you're gay or a pervert who rapes little boys.

Or just a downright creepy, disgusting person.

The fact that nobody agrees with you should make you at least question your preconceptions.

Honestly, the best thing you could do, Socrates, is to open your mind and to start listening. You need to accept that all of these crazy ideas you spout are actually one of the big things that are preventing you from having a meaningful relationship with the opposite sex.

Oh, and coincidentally, there is no such thing as "involuntary celibacy". Celibacy, by definition, is a freely chosen lifestyle choice.

 

[Badjedidude]

You've got to accept the truth though. Maybe my age isn't a big deal. But 26 and over, and you've never been seen in a relationship... people will think you're gay or a pervert who rapes little boys.

Or just a downright creepy, disgusting person.

I don't know where you're getting these ridiculous notions. Do you just make them up? Seriously. No one automatically assumes that a single older dude is a perv or pedophile.

You're projecting your own thoughts onto society as a whole, dude. Just because that's what YOU think of yourself doesn't mean it's what others think. Come on. I suggest you take Steel's advice and LISTEN to what everyone is telling you.

 

[mintymint]

Most of this is in your head dude. You're the one making it hell for yourself. If you think you're a piece of **** for being a virgin, you're gonna project that lack of confidence onto people around you. Most people won't think that way about you, and the ones worth your time certainly won't. If you get a GF and get laid, are all your issues gonna magically be gone? And if you break up, are they gonna reappear? You're just setting yourself up to live and die by relationships. To me that kind of person is weak. They don't know how to love themselves, and need constant external affirmation. Maybe once you have a relationship you'll realize that they aren't rocket science, they aren't a magic bullet, and they're a sonuvabitch unto themselves

 

[SophiaGrace]

Wow Xsocrates you must really hate yourself to say those horrible things about yourself that I wouldnt ever think of another person unless I absolutely ******* hated their guts.

It must be hard to live with the person you hate the most day after day. How do you do it? I couldn't.

 

[Badjedidude]

Most of this is in your head dude. You're the one making it hell for yourself. If you think you're a piece of **** for being a virgin, you're gonna project that lack of confidence onto people around you. Most people won't think that way about you, and the ones worth your time certainly won't. If you get a GF and get laid, are all your issues gonna magically be gone? And if you break up, are they gonna reappear? You're just setting yourself up to live and die by relationships. To me that kind of person is weak. They don't know how to love themselves, and need constant external affirmation.

Damn straight. I don't think I could have said it any better.

 

[Mr. Sir]

Wow Xsocrates you must really hate yourself to say those horrible things about yourself that I wouldnt ever think of another person unless I absolutely ******* hated their guts.

It must be hard to live with the person you hate the most day after day. How do you do it? I couldn't.

Well, I'm a political cartoonist, a vigilante, and a person who likes to debate on social issues (with views, that although justified, are considered "racist"), I am paranoid 24/7 about appearing my best in public.

On the incel forum I post on, the guys there say they won't change themselves for women or to fit in. They refused to get jacked or dress well. I'll do all that, but I will not change the fact that I'm a philanthropist, sociologist, vigilante, and debater.

 

[suckaG]

don't head-trip yourself man. you become your own worst enemy when you start to judge yourself against imaginary standards of normalcy. you want to get into a relationship? then focus on getting to know, understand and change yourself in the areas you think could use improvement. At least as best you can manage, anyways. Just don't tear yourself down before you even give yourself a chance to grow.

As a friend of mine once wrote in a song: "and all the things that put you out, are really things that you should not think twice about."

If you can't come to accept or even tolerate yourself in all your flawed humanity, how can you reasonably expect anyone else to? It might be hard, but just give yourself some slack.

Besides; when the potentially 'right type' of person crosses paths with you and sparks fly, I reeeaally doubt your lack of experience would matter to them nearly as much as your negative and self-hating attitude. [an even bigger problem may be your gross and blatent racism. **** that!]