Confused

[SilentThinker]

I found it hard to work with dishonest people,so much more be friends with.If he continues to be dishonest,confront or the relationship will suffer.

Communication is a hard thing.The hardest thing to communicate is when people gives you bad responses.For the facebook thing,I would prefer to put a happy face than other kinds of faces.Maybe he is trying to lure people to visit his profile in facebook.

Have fun together by doing things that you both enjoyed.Sometimes through fun,you may get to know the real him.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Well, that's not good. You know, some times, you may need to lose someone for you to realize how important they are to you. Do you think perhaps if he had the scare of losing you because his behavior, he'd at least attempt to act right, and stop being so wishy-washy?

That's what happened when I had broken up with him during our first year together. Seemed the only way to get him to kinda sit up and take notice was when I'd either break up with him or talk about it. I don't like doing that though; I want him to be that way because he wants to, and not have to manipulate him.

Tonight he did make an effort to be cheerful and be affectionate but I dunno. I ended up cheering up for a bit, but after he fell asleep my mood went down a little bit.

Man I hate being emotionally dependent on someone else.

It's not about manipulating him... It's about him understanding that the only way for him to pay solid attention to your concerns is for you to go to that extreme... And that in itself is a problem.

Silent is right too. Maybe have some fun with him... He might oddly enough open up to you more, and you could find out some things about him he's not normally telling you.

 

[Estreen]

Well, that's not good. You know, some times, you may need to lose someone for you to realize how important they are to you. Do you think perhaps if he had the scare of losing you because his behavior, he'd at least attempt to act right, and stop being so wishy-washy?

That's what happened when I had broken up with him during our first year together. Seemed the only way to get him to kinda sit up and take notice was when I'd either break up with him or talk about it. I don't like doing that though; I want him to be that way because he wants to, and not have to manipulate him.

Tonight he did make an effort to be cheerful and be affectionate but I dunno. I ended up cheering up for a bit, but after he fell asleep my mood went down a little bit.

Man I hate being emotionally dependent on someone else.

It's not about manipulating him... It's about him understanding that the only way for him to pay solid attention to your concerns is for you to go to that extreme... And that in itself is a problem.

Silent is right too. Maybe have some fun with him... He might oddly enough open up to you more, and you could find out some things about him he's not normally telling you.

Like what though? We're online.... he does not really want me around posting up tons of comments on his Facebook and he doesn't really like MySpace, I'm not big into games and I don't think he plays any online ones and I don't have a PS3 to link up with him on. I've tried to get him to join certain sites I go on but he just isn't into them, and I've tried thinking of things that he likes to do that I could do with him but I've turned up with nothing.

Only time we really do anything together is when he's visiting me in real life. And those times are wonderful, but then I know he has to go back, and return to the life that I have no involvement in.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Hmm, I never even thought of that... Why doesn't he want you posting comments on his Facebook? That's kind of odd... I'd post some stuff anyway.

 

[Estreen]

Hmm, I never even thought of that... Why doesn't he want you posting comments on his Facebook? That's kind of odd... I'd post some stuff anyway.

Lol, I did, back when I still had him added on my friends. I said "I love you <3" and he didn't like that. I ended up removing it. He did, however post to mine saying he loves me or something like that, I guess to make me feel better. He said he didn't mind if I had that stuff on my profile but he didn't want it on his. But yeah..he doesn't like to draw attention to our relationship.

By the way, I'm feeling completely miserable at the moment. The good news, however, is that I no longer feel like I'm going to throw up.

 

[Estreen]

So an update on things:

We're talking, and what's more we're happier. I recently had a chat with his mum over the phone the other day and it just really made me feel better. She knows how he is so it's really great to be able to talk to her about him without having the immediate response being, "Dump him!" which is pretty much what my mom, and some of my friends do. But deep down, I don't ever want to. =\ He's a great guy, he just has some odd things about him that I can read too much into sometimes and become frustrated with, and there are some things I wish he'd do, but no one's perfect really.

He's been really helpful to me lately, as now I've been dealing with my dad finding out that I quit my previous job much earlier than I had originally told him. I've been unemployed for a year now, and he went ahead and read my W2 form and saw that I made nothing close to what I should have if I had worked until the late fall. Whilst I was wrong for lying, I'm a little peeved because he has a habit of going through my mail sometimes. I think he does it just to make sure that I'm not in trouble or owe money or whatever, but I'm 21 years old; if I make a mistake it's time I make it on my own and deal with it. -.-; I Spent, like, almost all day yesterday crying because I felt so bad for lying and him having to find out like that, plus PMS depression took effect, so that wasn't fun, but I was grateful to have Jason to talk to.