Contacted an ex after 13 yrs, need advice.

[petef]

I looked up an ex on Facebook after 13 years and sent an email. She contacted me within 90 minutes and also sent me a friend request and we real timed emailed back and forth for about 30 minutes catching up etc with her asking me a lot of questions. I then had to go and she said she would contact me.

Two weeks later, she messaged me and we exchanged a couple of emails, but not in real time. I emailed if she would like to talk on the phone instead and she emailed back to give her my phone number.

A few days later, on a Saturday morning, she emailed me to see if I was going to be around for the weekend and what would be a good time to call. I wasn’t on the computer that Saturday and emailed back on Sunday morning to call me any time early Sunday evening.
I didn’t hear back, so 11 days later, I emailed saying just checking in didn’t hear from you. She emailed me 3 days later apologizing stating that her uncle and nephew had Covid and she was also busy with other stuff and asked how I was doing. I emailed back I was fine and if she wanted to call me and then never heard from her again.

What happened? I was hoping to be friends or just talk. Why email me then never follow up. Now I feel like a fool and an *****. Would appreciate any feedback.

Thanks

 

[Fragilegirl]

How long has it been since you heard anything from her? Sometimes life gets in the way no matter how good our intentions. There may be things going on in her life that are keeping her very occupied. Sometimes I have a tendency to think that if someone doesn’t get back to me it’s because I did something wrong or said something wrong. Usually it ends up that it has nothing to do with me. Something is going on in their life and they haven’t been able to get around to contacting me. I would say give it a little more time see if she gets in touch with you if not you can always reach out again. If she doesn’t respond this time, Then you’ll have your answer. But don’t feel like a fool either way. There’s nothing wrong with reaching out trying to connect with old friends. The fact that she did get back to you initially says that she was interested in continuing a friendship. But something in her life may have changed so I wouldn’t assume that it has anything to do with her rejecting your offer of friendship.

 

[petef]

It's been a couple of months since this happened, so I don't expect to be getting any more contact from her. Would have liked a reason.

 

[Fragilegirl]

I understand. It would’ve been nice if she could’ve at least told you why she didn’t have time to renew the friendship. Because if you’re like me you start making up your own reasons. And most of my reasons end up being that I did something wrong or I was wrong in someway. I hope you’re not thinking of it that way. And I hope it doesn’t stop you from reaching out to other people. It’s a mystery Why she decided to handle it this way but it could be something completely unrelated to you or her feelings about you. You could find out somewhere down the line that’s something major happened in her life and she was unable to get in contact with you. Fingers crossed that you’ll hear from her again. With a great explanation.

 

[Finished]

Welcome to the site Pete! Well, you could always email her again. It's a woman's prerogative to change her mind. There are so many reasons why that could be. You should never feel like a fool for trying to reach out to someone. Also don't feel ashamed if you do it again. Make things simplier for yourself. If you want to email her again, do it. If not don't. There's no need to place any judgement on that. You can only control and understand what you do.

 

[TheRealCallie]

So is your name Joe or Pete? Did you lose the password to your other account? There's a handy forgot password feature you could have used.

https://www.alonelylife.com/threads/contacted-an-ex-online-after-13-years-need-advice.42206/

 

[charlotte craig]

I looked up an ex on Facebook after 13 years and sent an email. She contacted me within 90 minutes and also sent me a friend request and we real timed emailed back and forth for about 30 minutes catching up etc with her asking me a lot of questions. I then had to go and she said she would contact me.

Two weeks later, she messaged me and we exchanged a couple of emails, but not in real time. I emailed if she would like to talk on the phone instead and she emailed back to give her my phone number.

A few days later, on a Saturday morning, she emailed me to see if I was going to be around for the weekend and what would be a good time to call. I wasn’t on the computer that Saturday and emailed back on Sunday morning to call me any time early Sunday evening.
I didn’t hear back, so 11 days later, I emailed saying just checking in didn’t hear from you. She emailed me 3 days later apologizing stating that her uncle and nephew had Covid and she was also busy with other stuff and asked how I was doing. I emailed back I was fine and if she wanted to call me and then never heard from her again.

What happened? I was hoping to be friends or just talk. Why email me then never follow up. Now I feel like a fool and an *****. Would appreciate any feedback.

Thanks

These people want you to be at their beck and call, this has happened to me often. They ONLY want to speak to you or meet up with you if you are free today at the time that suits them at no notice. If they have to plan it and set time aside and stick to it more exciting things and life come along and it gets put in the bin. They think they want to phone you or meet you but they really mean if nothing better comes along you are plan b.

 

[Adamridge79]

I'm not reading that, but, by the title...DON'T. Was it that hard?