dating as a highly sensitive person?

[Peaches]

Are there other people here who define themselves highly sensitive?
http://www.hsperson.com/
I suspect most of the people who come to this forum are, but I wonder, for those of you who date, if you also find it a massacring procedure, and if you also take a long time recovering from bad/abusive/humiliating encounters.

 

[AfterDark]

Um, I don't think there was one box I would tick on that test. I haven't dated before.

 

[Tiina63]

Hello Peaches, I am also highly sensitive and it does making dating harder. I over anayse both what I say and do and what the other person says. The 'don't be so senstive' comment is one I have had thrown at me often.

 

[maybelazy]

It's tough, it really is.

I've kept myself boxed off from so many people. Recently I let myself open up to someone.

I've always tried to be there for them and make them feel good about themselves but lately I've been going through a rough time, and instead of being supported or helped I was told I was being "always negative".

It hurt a lot, and tbh will make it harder for me to trust going forward.

 

[Peaches]

Yesterday I had some crazy guy to yell at me and threaten me because I didn't accept his BS and didn't want to see him anymore, and today I am completely crushed and life makes no sense.

 

[Stranger]

* Hugs Peaches *
Just give it some time, the pain will go away. It's tough being sensitive - every little confrontation hurts you a lot. Writing out your feelings on paper helps a little, and so does distraction (keeping busy with other things) or talking to a good friend. You'll feel better soon!

 

[ShadowMan2898]

Yesterday I had some crazy guy to yell at me and threaten me because I didn't accept his BS and didn't want to see him anymore, and today I am completely crushed and life makes no sense.

It's okay my friend...we all encounter people like him in our lives. Some just less frequent than others, but still. Are you okay now?

 

[Peaches]

better, thanks thank god we didn't even kiss! *hugs* back --- sometimes even the simpler things are a chore, and life is all the time so intense! A friend of mine, very different from me, is also into meditation, we were comparing experiences of meditating outdoors, and I was saying how, you know,how all the time I feel all these things and see each leaf of grass, each tree branch, so vividly, and every second would bring all these thoughts, and she was like "uh? is this what you feel all the time?!" But yes, I guess there are upsides as well as downsides, as having each bad experience or hurtful comment resonate for days--

 

[Thomas]]

I highly dislike two things: a) being called a liar and b) displays of supreme arrogance. If I'm having a hard time, I guess I'd be sensitive to those things.

Otherwise, I'd say I'm quite calm and laid back about most things.

However, being a very closed personality, losing the girlfriend I love who was the only other person who knew the true me apart from myself... was devestating. But all other failed personal encounters I've had with girls have not really affected me at all.

I think you will find here, that many people will be very sensitive to those that they open up to. I think a closed personality is common here, and sharing it well and truly with someone else you trust is bound to make you quite sensitive in a manner. Even if you have a super laid back approach to life like I do..

As for the "procedures", I've never found them annoying or troublesome at all. I love getting to know new people. They just often don't get to know too much about me! xD

 

[Bones]

Yes - it is worse for me than probably a lot of HSPs because I can remotely feel people's emotions that I am close too - it is the same with my grandmother, great-grandmother, etc on the maternal side of my family; however, it bypassed my mother and she almost never knows unless it is extreme - my grandmother use to surprise me when i was younger because she would call me out of the blue to make sure i was ok even when i lived a couple of hundred miles away from her for about five years - i got away with almost nothing as a kid and young adult.

Are there other people here who define themselves highly sensitive?
http://www.hsperson.com/
I suspect most of the people who come to this forum are, but I wonder, for those of you who date, if you also find it a massacring procedure, and if you also take a long time recovering from bad/abusive/humiliating encounters.

 

[In a lonely place]

Are there other people here who define themselves highly sensitive?
http://www.hsperson.com/
I suspect most of the people who come to this forum are, but I wonder, for those of you who date, if you also find it a massacring procedure, and if you also take a long time recovering from bad/abusive/humiliating encounters.

What do you mean by massacring? Not sure.
Glad you feel a little better.

 

[roguewave]

I recommend trying to find another highly sensitive person. I won't say that it's not going to work with someone who isn't sensitive, but it will be a lot harder on you and you will probably feel emotionally taken advantage of a lot.
As a highly sensitive person sometimes I like to come on intense right from the get-go so the other person knows what kind of relationship they're getting into with me.
The intention isn't to scare other people away but to weed out the individuals who want a light, low maintenance relationship because that's not what it's like dating me
The worst things you can do are to try and hide your sensitivity and water down your personality. If someone isn't digging you it will hurt less to know sooner, rather than later.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I beieve its just from people isolating themselves.
ii wasnt akways like that...but i isokated nyself.
I had a sort of cabin fever effect.. i became too
Sensitive to everything.
Even being around beautiful friendly wonen made me
Wanted to vomit. I physically felt illed.

Rather then pyhco annoulizing everything.

A simple cure for that was just me forcing myself to be more
Exposeed to people. I attended a suporrted group.
I lady understood me because she saw me trembling
So she reached out to me....just chit chating a little
Bit at a time...becuase i wanted vommit...
She was very beautiful..but she isolated herself
Before...so she understood what i was going through.

Today i can talk to complete strangers because
i simply put myself out there or expose myself
To people all the time to desentitized myself.