Interesting Online Dating Experiment

[bsomberg]

Not very surprising results at all. Physical attraction is very high up on most men's criteria for a partner. It is important for women as well, but not nearly as much.

 

[Unsigned]

I think thats why the level of finances that attract women now (even very average women im my opinion) seem to be extremely high.

It's 100% true.
You have to be a 1%er to get girls exclusively with money.
8 figure net worth USD.
Being merely "well off" doesn't cut the mustard.

 

[Unsigned]

In the old days it was sufficient for them to have a good income to get the girl, now they can't rely on that anymore.

And IMO, this is part of the reason the West is in decline.
The old days ensured decent, honest, hardworking men would not be alone.

 

[insecure]

And IMO, this is part of the reason the West is in decline.
The old days ensured decent, honest, hardworking men would not be alone.

True, but there were also women who hated being a house wife, and who were very happy that they could go out into the work life.
It also made for many women who wanted a divorce to stay with their husband, because they were financially dependent.

 

[michael2]

I don't know, is that any different from in the real world?
When I was a lot younger, I had a colleague, he was good-looking, slim, did a lot of sports, the only thing against him was a slight stutter.
Lots of girls were interested in him, and this was just at after-work parties, no dating sites involved.
It's the way nature works, I wish it were different and we would alle go for intellectual capabilities, but even though I find I can have very meaningful, deep conversations with women, if there is no sexual attraction, I can't see myself starting a relationship with them.

In a way, I think it is better if women go for good-looking guys.
The stereotype is that they are just taken in by the amount of money a guy throws at them.
The question is whether this type of woman will stay with the guy for the money, but have secret affairs on the side with good-looking guys or she will be really faithful to a guy she's only respecting because of his money.
If she finds him really attractive physically the chances of her being faithful are higher.

I've had several women who've I was not physically attracted to at first, but after spending time around them I really fell for them. It's possible you might be the type of guy who is all about physical attraction. I have a roommate like that, all he cares is that the woman fits a physical prototype that he has in his head, and little else matters. He's even put up with abuse from these women for an extended amount of time because he was so lost in their physical appearance.

Yes physical attraction is usually the top way people fall for eachother initially, but people also do fall in love with someone's personality, and they accept the persons looks or realize the person didn't look as bad as they may have had thought. With the whole 'swipe right' thing people are swiping left on tons of people who they could have a really strong connection with, just because they aren't super attractive.

 

[TropicalStarfish]

I think I'm just going to post Neil Diamond songs, for these types of threads, from now on. lol.

Here ya go..

Love on the Rocks, Ain't No Surprise..

 

[user 139760]

I've had several women who've I was not physically attracted to at first, but after spending time around them I really fell for them. It's possible you might be the type of guy who is all about physical attraction. I have a roommate like that, all he cares is that the woman fits a physical prototype that he has in his head, and little else matters. He's even put up with abuse from these women for an extended amount of time because he was so lost in their physical appearance.

Yes physical attraction is usually the top way people fall for eachother initially, but people also do fall in love with someone's personality, and they accept the persons looks or realize the person didn't look as bad as they may have had thought. With the whole 'swipe right' thing people are swiping left on tons of people who they could have a really strong connection with, just because they aren't super attractive.

That's a bit how I am. Actually, I heard a phrase in a sci-fi show that always resonated with me "physical attraction is both the first and last thing important in a relationship". It's often an indicator of interest when you find someone attractive, but what really makes you fall for someone in my case is who she is as a person, her personality, tastes, idiosyncrasies. The physical aspect is, when that happens, far less important.
I wasn't particularly attracted to the mother of my children, she was the initiator in that case. I actually found her annoying at first . But, as I got to know her, I began to see who she was and she was admirable. That started the process going.
She was far from not attractive, just not someone I would have necessarily gone for. In a sense, she became far prettier. As opposed to my following relationship, which was the other way around.

 

[SquareBin]

Being ugly just sucks, that's the gist of the experiment IMHO :/

 

[okidoke]

Ugly is subjective as much as beautiful is.

 

[SquareBin]

Ugly is subjective as much as beautiful is.

yeah... I do believe in a little bit of certains universal beauty standard :/ (but that's just me)

at the end of the day, having a positive mindset will help as much as being beautiful and sad d:

 

[insecure]

Ugly is subjective as much as beautiful is.

Not really.
For instance, a totally asymmetric face (a normal face is not L/R a perfect mirror) indicates bad genes.
The ideal stereotype of a beautiful woman corresponds with a fertile, healthy woman.
So those images are based on a natural form of gene selection.

 

[user 139760]

Ugly is subjective as much as beautiful is.

Indeed.
I just find the experiment itself rather inane. It presuposes that beauty has certain standards and that men and women are fundamentally different. They're not.
I used to train a LOT. Not so much now, but I'm still in a rather muscly shape, bit on the skinny side, but I look healthy. If I walk around on the street in a tank top, I always get noticed (and I do because with temperatures like today, if I could peel off my skin and walk around in that, I would). Men and women, both denominers I hate because it presuposes a homogenous group with common characteristics beyond genitalia, are more similar than disimilar. If a cute girl in a tight skirt walks by, men will start drooling. If a guy without a shirt, or in a tank top, walks by, the same will happen. It's usually less obvious though. But it's the same exact thing. I was taken aback a couple times over the years by some of the more blatant and in your face iffers I got over the years of a roll in the hay because a random woman off the street thought I was "hot". I found the whole thing rather laughable and ironic. I'm sure I only have a couple years left before I look old enough that that won't happen anymore, but I'm enjoying looking at the "men only want sex" argument from the other side of the lens. Because I've had the opposite experience more than once.

A woman I tend to find beautiful is one I get to know who has no care or time for stereotypes. She'll like me for who I am, not what I look like. Which is, I assume, as hard to find for men as it is for women.
That's what makes someone beautiful to me.

Edit: Case in point, just now. I'm smoking a cigarette with my coffee outside, sitting on the second floor balcony. There's this younger, maybe mid 20's girl living across with whom I assume to be her boyfriend. Just caught her from her window, her cell out, not so subtly taking either a picture or a video of me from accross the street. Not cool. Not surprising either. Then proceeds to wave. I proceed to not say a word and get back in.
I'm sure in her mind, it was meant to be flattering. I equate it with a random girl being whistled at by a group of guys on the street. Don't find it particularly flattering.

 

[okidoke]

Not really.
For instance, a totally asymmetric face (a normal face is not L/R a perfect mirror) indicates bad genes.
The ideal stereotype of a beautiful woman corresponds with a fertile, healthy woman.
So those images are based on a natural form of gene selection.

meh. there are plently of "ugly" people in relationships. some societies aren't as shallow as others.

....., just now. I'm smoking a cigarette with my coffee outside, sitting on the second floor balcony. There's this younger, maybe mid 20's girl living across with whom I assume to be her boyfriend. Just caught her from her window, her cell out, not so subtly taking either a picture or a video of me from accross the street. Not cool. Not surprising either. Then proceeds to wave. I proceed to not say a word and get back in.
I'm sure in her mind, it was meant to be flattering. I equate it with a random girl being whistled at by a group of guys on the street. Don't find it particularly flattering.

Storing for her **** bank lmao

 

[user 139760]

Storing for her **** bank lmao

Yeah, no. I'm wired a bit differently as well. That's why I don't get along with many people. I'm very different from what most would expect. But that takes some scratching the surface and me willing to show it.

 

[insecure]

meh. there are plently of "ugly" people in relationships. some societies aren't as shallow as others.

Of course not everyone has the prettiest girlfriend / boyfriend.
That is because it is a bit of supply / demand.
If you are ugly as a man, you probably won't be able to get the most good-looking girls, unless they are after something else.
Just look at the animal world, males will compete for the best females (genetically), but in the end all males will try to mate, and might settle for second, third, ... best.
Why would we be completely different?

 

[okidoke]

Of course not everyone has the prettiest girlfriend / boyfriend.
That is because it is a bit of supply / demand.
If you are ugly as a man, you probably won't be able to get the most good-looking girls, unless they are after something else.
Just look at the animal world, males will compete for the best females (genetically), but in the end all males will try to mate, and might settle for second, third, ... best.
Why would we be completely different?

We are not completely different, but we are more evolved and enlightened than animals.

 

[insecure]

We are not completely different, but we are more evolved and enlightened than animals.

Or so we would like to believe.

 

[okidoke]

Or so we would like to believe.

Then perhaps your thinking is the source of your despondency.

 

[insecure]

Then perhaps your thinking is the source of your despondency.

You could see this more as realism.
Part of the problem with mankind is that we see ourselves too much as 'different' from the rest of animals or even nature.
This creates a feeling that we can do whatever we like, even destroy nature completely, because we are supposedly above that.
Climate change however, shows that our actions do have consequences in the long run.

 

[okidoke]

.........This creates a feeling that we can do whatever we like......

We're getting off point, but you're generalising here, and I don't agree.