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WildernessWildChild
Guest
StormChild said:
This. Conflict is too draining.
Help Support Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum:
This. Conflict is too draining.
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AmytheTemperamental
Guest
Someone who isn't willing to dance. Just once, let go and have fun with me 
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Bob Arctor
Guest
Doesn't shave legs.
TheRealCallie
Princess Pink Love
Bob Arctor said:
So a lady can have hairy armpits and a mustache and that will be okay with you?
Frostburn
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Kids. I actually kinda met this attractive lady at work who seemed to atleast be somewhat into me. But she has a child. I know she probably wouldn't be looking for a father figure, but I wouldn't be able to be in commited relationship with someone and not partake in the responsibility of their child. That with the addition of possible drama/baggage of their last relationship would be just too much for me at this stage of my life.
Strong atheist and/or intolerant of religious beliefs. I just don't think I would really click with someone who is not atleast some level at the same page as I am about these things. If I'd were to marry this person she would have to be ok and even support the fact that I'd be part of the clergy. I guess it comes down to having compatible worldview for it to work.
Uncaring about animal rights. I would be open to the idea of having relationship with someone who eats meat, but as borderline vegan I would have kinda hard time dealing with someone so close who would constantly question my choices or think it is meaningless. Ideally we would both share the same views about this.
Strong atheist and/or intolerant of religious beliefs. I just don't think I would really click with someone who is not atleast some level at the same page as I am about these things. If I'd were to marry this person she would have to be ok and even support the fact that I'd be part of the clergy. I guess it comes down to having compatible worldview for it to work.
Uncaring about animal rights. I would be open to the idea of having relationship with someone who eats meat, but as borderline vegan I would have kinda hard time dealing with someone so close who would constantly question my choices or think it is meaningless. Ideally we would both share the same views about this.
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AmytheTemperamental
Guest
Bob Arctor said:
I swear, I only forget about it. Stop holding it over my head :club:
TheRealCallie
Princess Pink Love
Jafo said:
Frostburn said:
I met a guy, probably 5 years ago. Swore up and down that he would NEVER get into a relationship with a woman who had kids. It was a COMPLETE deal breaker for him.
Fast forward to about a year and a half ago and he gets into a relationship...wait for it...with a woman who had a kid. lol Now, he's told me before that if a woman he was interested in had a kid, he would go the other way. But not this one. He found the right woman, making the kid not be an issue for him at all. They are engaged now and very happy together.
Now, I'm not saying that kids aren't a HUGE deal and I can completely understand why they would be a deal breaker for some people. What I am saying is that when you meet the right person, something like having a kid isn't really as much of a deal breaker as you thought it was.
Frostburn
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TheRealCallie said:
Yeah I can agree with that. It's just the idea of having a child in my life inderectly or directly seems like something that I can't really handle. I think it is that pressure that is what makes me uncomfortable about it. I don't consider myself "real adult" yet so I don't feel it would be fair for her or for the child for me to get involved. But when I and people around me get older and if I haven't settled down with anyone then I will probably be able to look it differently.
Reminds me actually when I was dead set on having kids someday and then I fell for a woman who was dead set on not having kids. Suddenly it didn't seem that big deal with me either.
Ikarmue
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Deal breakers for me depend on who the person is, but, generally, as my friendship has been deteriorating with my friend from high school for the past month or two, I can think of a few things that are deal breakers for any friendship of mine based off of my experience with him:
-Getting upset over what game system I play on: considering that the XBone is going to have cross-platform compatibility with the PC to some extent, I do not know why my friend wants me to go and buy a system that I have told him on several occasions that I do not want. I realize it may be a feature not supported by every game that comes out on the system, but the way he acts towards me about the issue has led to arguments in the past between us that has made me wonder why we are still friends. I mean, we both like to play video games, even if we have different genres of interest, and it's not like I am acting like playing on consoles is a bad thing. It's just that, for the first time in my life, I feel like building a PC so I can play everything without having to worry about whether the PS5 or the Xbox Two (or whatever the next potential system will be called) will be able to play everything that I spent my money on in the past. If I want to play Bioshock Infinite or Far Cry 3 20 years from now, as long as DirectX and all the other software still supports the code to play games from that era, I'll still be able to play the game and feel like I got my money's worth.
-People who act like they know what they are talking about when they have not done their research, and won't admit to being misinformed: for those who have kept up with the COD series, you would know that the games are being made by three different companies right now: Infinity Ward, (who, from what I've heard about their games post-MW2, are a shadow of their former selves) Treyarch, (my favorite COD dev atm) and Sledgehammer Games, who made COD: AW. My friend does not like Sledgehammer Games because they "ruined Zombies in COD" by making the Zombies mode in Advanced Warfare supposedly worse than Treyarch's. To each his own, (I haven't even played the game myself) but that is not what gets me mad: he acts like Treyarch, whose pockets are being filled by the same publisher as Sledgehammer, is going to sue Sledgehammer because they stole the idea of COD: Zombies from them, like Treyarch owns the IP to COD and all of the modes produced therein. I try to tell him how his logic makes no sense, but he gets mad at me because I supposedly never let him win an argument, which is so far from the truth that it's not even funny. If Treyarch was going to sue Sledgehammer, there surely would have been some news about it on the Internet, of which the only COD-related suit that I found in my research was between Infinity Ward pre-MW3 and Activision. I don't mind someone not being informed about something they don't really care about, but when someone is just defending their own ego because it's being done by their favorite company, I can't help but feel like I am with someone who is worshiping the Golden Calf metaphorically speaking. The thing is, too, I am trying to be his friend by pointing out flaws in his thinking so he can try to think rationally about things and carry on an informed conversation with others, but it's like he wants to stay in the dark about how that works. Which is his decision, so there's not much I can do about that.
-People who try to take things more seriously than they really are: I was playing Smash 4 on Wii U once with my friend, and I happened to win the fight. For the record, I tended to win a lot of the fights that I played with him and his friends and siblings. Anyways, I won and I made a comment to the effect of "Got you!" in a playful manner. My friend's reaction? He goes up the stairs and says I owe him an apology for "making fun of him." I was thinking, "You can't be seriously mad after losing only one match." I apologized to him, but he still takes other things more personally than he should. Sometimes, when we are playing Zombies, he will just get upset after going down several times to the point of just ragequitting the game, even if doing so will ruin others' fun at the moment by ending the game. I try to convince him that it's just a game, but he acts like little things just tick him off and that he claims that he "doesn't know" why they do that.
Stuff like this has made me consider breaking off my friendship with him, considering that, while I may get frustrated at a game at times, I usually can contain my frustration enough to not just completely quit and ruin other peoples' fun. Granted, he has his own problems when it comes to controlling his behavior (nothing violent, thankfully), but I can only tolerate so much as I get further into college and other things come up in life. The only reason I have not broke off my friendship with him is that he's the only friend I have in real life right now. I still have yet to check that video game group at college, so hopefully things will change for the better soon.
Once again, I typed up a wall of text. I really should become better at saying what I want to say in forums in a smaller and more concise manner...
-Getting upset over what game system I play on: considering that the XBone is going to have cross-platform compatibility with the PC to some extent, I do not know why my friend wants me to go and buy a system that I have told him on several occasions that I do not want. I realize it may be a feature not supported by every game that comes out on the system, but the way he acts towards me about the issue has led to arguments in the past between us that has made me wonder why we are still friends. I mean, we both like to play video games, even if we have different genres of interest, and it's not like I am acting like playing on consoles is a bad thing. It's just that, for the first time in my life, I feel like building a PC so I can play everything without having to worry about whether the PS5 or the Xbox Two (or whatever the next potential system will be called) will be able to play everything that I spent my money on in the past. If I want to play Bioshock Infinite or Far Cry 3 20 years from now, as long as DirectX and all the other software still supports the code to play games from that era, I'll still be able to play the game and feel like I got my money's worth.
-People who act like they know what they are talking about when they have not done their research, and won't admit to being misinformed: for those who have kept up with the COD series, you would know that the games are being made by three different companies right now: Infinity Ward, (who, from what I've heard about their games post-MW2, are a shadow of their former selves) Treyarch, (my favorite COD dev atm) and Sledgehammer Games, who made COD: AW. My friend does not like Sledgehammer Games because they "ruined Zombies in COD" by making the Zombies mode in Advanced Warfare supposedly worse than Treyarch's. To each his own, (I haven't even played the game myself) but that is not what gets me mad: he acts like Treyarch, whose pockets are being filled by the same publisher as Sledgehammer, is going to sue Sledgehammer because they stole the idea of COD: Zombies from them, like Treyarch owns the IP to COD and all of the modes produced therein. I try to tell him how his logic makes no sense, but he gets mad at me because I supposedly never let him win an argument, which is so far from the truth that it's not even funny. If Treyarch was going to sue Sledgehammer, there surely would have been some news about it on the Internet, of which the only COD-related suit that I found in my research was between Infinity Ward pre-MW3 and Activision. I don't mind someone not being informed about something they don't really care about, but when someone is just defending their own ego because it's being done by their favorite company, I can't help but feel like I am with someone who is worshiping the Golden Calf metaphorically speaking. The thing is, too, I am trying to be his friend by pointing out flaws in his thinking so he can try to think rationally about things and carry on an informed conversation with others, but it's like he wants to stay in the dark about how that works. Which is his decision, so there's not much I can do about that.
-People who try to take things more seriously than they really are: I was playing Smash 4 on Wii U once with my friend, and I happened to win the fight. For the record, I tended to win a lot of the fights that I played with him and his friends and siblings. Anyways, I won and I made a comment to the effect of "Got you!" in a playful manner. My friend's reaction? He goes up the stairs and says I owe him an apology for "making fun of him." I was thinking, "You can't be seriously mad after losing only one match." I apologized to him, but he still takes other things more personally than he should. Sometimes, when we are playing Zombies, he will just get upset after going down several times to the point of just ragequitting the game, even if doing so will ruin others' fun at the moment by ending the game. I try to convince him that it's just a game, but he acts like little things just tick him off and that he claims that he "doesn't know" why they do that.
Stuff like this has made me consider breaking off my friendship with him, considering that, while I may get frustrated at a game at times, I usually can contain my frustration enough to not just completely quit and ruin other peoples' fun. Granted, he has his own problems when it comes to controlling his behavior (nothing violent, thankfully), but I can only tolerate so much as I get further into college and other things come up in life. The only reason I have not broke off my friendship with him is that he's the only friend I have in real life right now. I still have yet to check that video game group at college, so hopefully things will change for the better soon.
Once again, I typed up a wall of text. I really should become better at saying what I want to say in forums in a smaller and more concise manner...
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Bob Arctor
Guest
TheRealCallie said:Bob Arctor said:
So a lady can have hairy armpits and a mustache and that will be okay with you?
Well Jen let's go out on some dates and I'll see.
AmytheTemperamental said:
Oh sure, I hold something over your head so you club me in the head, that seems fair. ಠ_ಠ
TheRealCallie
Princess Pink Love
Bob Arctor said:TheRealCallie said:Bob Arctor said:
So a lady can have hairy armpits and a mustache and that will be okay with you?
Well Jen let's go out on some dates and I'll see.
Did you just ask me out? (ono)
Sadly, I'm sorry, but I don't have a mustache and never did. Also, I shave my armpits.
-People who hold on to grudges/cannot let go of the past/can't get over minor mistakes. Obviously things like cruelty, abuse and cheating aren't forgivable and can't be considered minor issues. But things such as 'I can't forgive you for talking to your colleague/coming home later than usual/forgetting the milk..' Shhhh. Don't talk. See? Much better.
-Someone who pretends to care/doesn't communicate honestly. A half truth is still only a half. The rest is a lie.
-A person who isn't open to trying things outside their comfort zone. Someone who doesn't care about or care to know about things outside of what they already know. Read. Travel if you're able to do so. Try something different. Be curious. Give a damn.
-Arrogance. Being rude to those who help them. Drink/drugs/smoking. Metamorphosing into a cockroach or already being one.
-Someone who pretends to care/doesn't communicate honestly. A half truth is still only a half. The rest is a lie.
-A person who isn't open to trying things outside their comfort zone. Someone who doesn't care about or care to know about things outside of what they already know. Read. Travel if you're able to do so. Try something different. Be curious. Give a damn.
-Arrogance. Being rude to those who help them. Drink/drugs/smoking. Metamorphosing into a cockroach or already being one.
Someone who tries to reach me many times, a bit more than it is normal, and then blames me because I wouldn't answer. Stalkers (I had one!).
Guys who would call you "dear" or "sweetie" and not by your name.
Guys who haven't evolved a bit since they were in high school and now they are in their 40ies.
Guys who would call you "dear" or "sweetie" and not by your name.
Guys who haven't evolved a bit since they were in high school and now they are in their 40ies.
ardour
Well known loser
With some of the single women around my age, I can kind of see why they're single:
Casual rudeness. A lack of awareness of other people's feelings. Like a child or adolescent who never learnt any social skills or doesn't care.
No, I don't mean to say they have to be overly polite or submissive and I have my own idiosyncrasies and awkwardness as well. Some basic social etiquette would be nice though.
I'd be embarrassed introducing someone like that to family members.
Casual rudeness. A lack of awareness of other people's feelings. Like a child or adolescent who never learnt any social skills or doesn't care.
No, I don't mean to say they have to be overly polite or submissive and I have my own idiosyncrasies and awkwardness as well. Some basic social etiquette would be nice though.
I'd be embarrassed introducing someone like that to family members.
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Bob Arctor
Guest
TheRealCallie said:Bob Arctor said:TheRealCallie said:Bob Arctor said:
So a lady can have hairy armpits and a mustache and that will be okay with you?
Well Jen let's go out on some dates and I'll see.
Did you just ask me out? (ono)
Sadly, I'm sorry, but I don't have a mustache and never did. Also, I shave my armpits.
Fine by me
Aisha said:
But what if that's your superpower?
Sometimes
Well-known member
1. Bad hygiene.
2. Disrespectful language.
2. Disrespectful language.
