Desperate for a girlfriend

[rayeo]

I'm sorry you feel heartbroken. I have never had a relationship either and I'm 21, but I still believe i'm quite young so it doesn't bother me. Or maybe I'm just not looking.

But you're only 21...you are still young! After university there's still plenty of people out there looking. Get a new job, volunteer, anything. Chances are you WILL find someone if you go out there.

Though, I wouldn't fall for anyone who is nice to you at the bat or think they're at the same level with you right away. The thing with loneliness is: you tend to like/accept anyone because you're so exhausted of being lonely that you will take anything that comes your way.

Get to know them much more and longer. When you're desperate, sometimes you can't see what's in front of you, you only see the idea of them.

"You *know* that whatever it is your feeling is really just an attraction towards an image of that person you've create in your mind?"

Remember, wanting is not the same as having. We only want what we don't have... and we also tend to have what we don't want.

This is also why being Desperate doesn't work. Although the idea of needing someone to complete us is romantic, once the desperation is gone they are full and betray you.

When they are desperate their standards are lowered and they are hungry, once food becomes plentiful they become picky.

+1 I completely agree.

You are still really young.

When I was that age people met girlfriends and boyfriends usually through groups of friends, especially in college.

I met the girl I ended up marrying when I was 20 and it was because someone just happened to have my picture on their fridge door and she saw it and wanted to meet me. It was totally random.

It seems like people your age do a lot more online dating now though, I am often surprised by how many 20 year olds their are on dating sites as I'd always assumed those sites were more for adults.

Maybe you could try that out and make a profile.

Or join a class at a gym, especially something like kickboxing or boxing where there are usually a lot more girls than guys.

Or volunteer some place like an animal shelter or suicide hotline.

The more you increase your chances of having some random encounter with a girl you have chemistry with the better chance you will have.

Even with the online dating thing, have a profile and check it every once in a while but don't stress over it.

I find that to have a good social life you should try to limit your time on the internet as much as possible. A lot of people don't realize how virtual relationships and spending too much time online really damages your chances of having a social life in reality.

I once went two years with no internet connection and my computer was basically just a typewriter and I didn't miss it at all.

I spend way too much time on it now as is.

Aw. That is so sweet how she wanted to meet you after seeing your photo!

 

[abbeyroad92]

Thanks for the input everyone. It really means a lot.

 

[Hawx79]

Im 34, never had gf and probably never will, but it would be great if i did one day. And in meantime i do everything i like alone.

 

[ardour]

This may have been said to death, but I find that it's definitely true, you have a better chance of finding a girlfriend if you focus on your tasks and allow space for relationships to develop through them. Women don't like clingy guys, but when they meet a guy who is focused on his goals and has a purpose in his life, they get interested in him pretty quickly.

I know a few shy average to unattractive men with achievements under their belts and stimulating interests. Single women don't show interest. The only women relaxed enough to talk to them are those already partnered up.

 

[Triple Bogey]

Im 34, never had gf and probably never will, but it would be great if i did one day. And in meantime i do everything i like alone.

if you haven't got any friends you either sit at home doing nothing or go out and do stuff by yourself which I do.

 

[Hawx79]

Im 34, never had gf and probably never will, but it would be great if i did one day. And in meantime i do everything i like alone.

if you haven't got any friends you either sit at home doing nothing or go out and do stuff by yourself which I do.

And your point it?

 

[Triple Bogey]

Im 34, never had gf and probably never will, but it would be great if i did one day. And in meantime i do everything i like alone.

if you haven't got any friends you either sit at home doing nothing or go out and do stuff by yourself which I do.

And your point it?

just agreeing with you

 

[Hawx79]

Im 34, never had gf and probably never will, but it would be great if i did one day. And in meantime i do everything i like alone.

if you haven't got any friends you either sit at home doing nothing or go out and do stuff by yourself which I do.

And your point it?

just agreeing with you

'
Well one shouldn't just sit at home doing nothing, i would go crazy! There many things that you could do to occupy you mind at home doing stuff you like to or must do.

 

[Iceman1978]

abbeyroad, You're still young, so don't feel bad.

Imagine being 35, still a virgin, not dating in over 15 years, and being told by women that you're ugly, that you're a loser, and that only a woman desperate would go on a date with you?

Well...that's me.

Don't feel bad about yourself. 21 is young..very young, and you've got plenty of time ahead of you. Right now your number one priority needs to be finishing your education.

 

[Triple Bogey]

Im 34, never had gf and probably never will, but it would be great if i did one day. And in meantime i do everything i like alone.

if you haven't got any friends you either sit at home doing nothing or go out and do stuff by yourself which I do.

And your point it?

just agreeing with you

'
Well one shouldn't just sit at home doing nothing, i would go crazy! There many things that you could do to occupy you mind at home doing stuff you like to or must do.

I used to. From 2006 to 2011 I never left my home city once. Just worked and on my weeks off I played golf. Couldn't motivate myself into going anywhere. What was the point when I had nobody to go with ? But this year I have been all over, I have started a new hobby; photography and it's a great reason to go places and take photo's. I have plans for next year as well.