Do you actually NEED "romantic love"?

[Eteled]

I would need it. Sitting alone in a house/apartment/other for the majority of my life would either kill me or drive me to kill myself.

 

[LolaEliot]

I don't need "romantic love". I mean I can live without it.
But I want it, I think it will light up my life.

 

[TheSkaFish]

No, you don't need it. But like many things, although you may not need it, it does enhance the quality of your life.

I for one am committed to finding romantic love and will not quit until I get it!

 

[VanillaCreme]

I for one am committed to finding romantic love and will not quit until I get it!

So, you're in love with the idea of being in love?

 

[TheSkaFish]

I for one am committed to finding romantic love and will not quit until I get it!

So, you're in love with the idea of being in love?

I don't know. You could say that, I suppose. I meant it more along the lines of, I am committed to getting a girlfriend and I am not going to quit trying to figure it out and improving myself until I find someone. It's sort of a personal resolution, but also in response to a lot of threads I've seen lately about people saying they don't want a relationship anymore or that they've given up on it.

I could give in and say the same thing, citing my lack of success. But I am resolved to make it happen. I've said things were too hard in the past and gave up, I didn't commit. But I believe I'm a good guy, I believe that I have a lot to offer and even if I don't have a lot today I still believe I could have a lot to offer someday. I don't know who my girlfriend will be or when we will meet, but I am resolved to have a girlfriend someday and will try to take actions that are in line with my goal.

 

[LiLeila]

I need romantic love. How am I supposed to be with someone without this? I don't care about material **** and temporary emotions. Maybe I have different definition for "romantic", for me it's more like "spiritual connection" or something and it can't be described with words. Only feelings so I can't even write more what I mean...

However, most people as I see don't need this.

 

[BeyondShy]

However, most people as I see don't need this.

How the *&$^#*^(*@ do you know? HOW??

 

[LiLeila]

However, most people as I see don't need this.

How the *&$^#*^(*@ do you know? HOW??

From talks? From what I see?

 

[BeyondShy]

From talks? From what I see?

You don't see much then.

 

[LiLeila]

From talks? From what I see?

You don't see much then.

I didn't met anyone who admit that this kind of love is for him/her important much. I always see or hear that relationships are build on other things, like appearance, lies, comfort or safety. And usually there are just passing relations. So why I may think different? I can't have my opinion or observation? People don't even believe in such thing as romantic love.

 

[BeyondShy]

I didn't met anyone who admit that this kind of love is for him/her important much. I always see or hear that relationships are build on other things, like appearance, lies, comfort or safety. And usually there are just passing relations. So why I may think different? I can't have my opinion or observation? People don't even believe in such thing as romantic love.

Ok, now I understand what you mean.

 

[Niantiel]

Not really, no. But you have to be a DAMN strong person to handle life without it.
I'm 3 years in, by choice. I have my passing infatuations, but I never dig in too far because there's always a logical reason why the girl isn't good for me to be with.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

There are much more important things than romantic love. And many people never find the one, so no, I don't think of it as a need.

There's no such thing as "love" of any kind.

I disagree. I love certain family members, my friends, my pets, certain celebrities. And like Vanilla said, things like certain books, movies, TV Shows, music.

Oh, and I love technology, too.

If you can't love, there's a term for that. I think you need to be looking into therapy for those problems, because it's not healthy to not feel love, at all.

 

[Stonely]

People need certain things at different stages in life.

You may not need a relationship, love, or affection right now.

But you may desire/conquest it some day in the future.

Things change over time including one's desires.

 

[Triple Bogey]

Some people have no choice but to go without 'romantic love' for their whole lives !

 

[Eliraven]

@ninasju . We are on the same shoes. I also long for someone, not to be the hero of my life but for someone I can share the good and the bad in life. I have been thinking about that "need" lately and that comes since our childhood. We see our grandparents, uncles,aunts, and sometimes our parents being together for basically a lifetime. They have this connection between one another that you can see after all that time they respect and care for each other, especially when they share the stories of tough times sticking together.Who doesn't want that?. But times have changed, before we had to make our marriage work , now people just give up easily. We don't want to work for something that we were guaranteed since we were little to have, because we didn't saw our grandparents struggles, we may "heard" them which is totally different, and the movies depict this easy love we dream of.

I'm 21 years old who had three fails relationship of basically three months each. The first one took some of my money, the second one my self esteem and the third one was so emotionally insane that it took me months to be able to go back to myself and feel like myself.

Now, I haven't been lucky in love as of now, but let's take a look at my personal goals.Since I was 18 years old I work full time and study full time. I was able to buy a really good car with my school money, and next year by the middle of it I will be able to pay it off. I'm totally financially independent.I have my mom and some family members who support me emotionally and also a friend. In fact, I have been able to live more and be more strong when I am by myself.I have also set the example on my family that we can work and study at the same time, since everybody who starts working leaves school.On top of that I'm an excellent student and worker.

I have decided to take a break from dating, and take a deep look at myself. Think about all the baggage from my past three relationship, which I am guilty too but hey that's totally fine. I used to be so harsh on myself,but you know what? I'm worth it and I deserve the best and I am doing the best I can on my own pace. We need to stop looking for love on the wrong directions.

So, yes at such a short age I'm rethinking the possibility of being alone "romantically" not because I have give up on love, but because I am the person who should love myself the most, not my mom, not a man, me and only me. Because when you truly love yourself you will spread love to everything you do and you will get the same type of love you give, the one that is worth having. And when you love yourself , you will know allow anybody to take love, your worth or your spark away from you. Because you don't let that happen to people you love right? You want the best fro them.

I thought I was never going to say this, but no, you don't need romantic love. Set personals goals in your life which can only will be control by you and which you will enjoy as much if not more. Do you want to travel? Go and take your mom or your friend. Surround yourself with that long lasting and pure love, that is extremely hard to have.I will guarantee , you will enjoy it. And you will realize that is not about having any kind of "love" that will fulfill your life, you will not set for less anymore.

I'm doing just that, caring and loving for the people who honestly care for me. Because we are worth it. And once you have that love for yourself and for others, the romantic love won't be a need anymore because whether you have it or not, you LOVE yourself more than anything and you have more people who love you.

I feel love when I read a book, when I talk to old people, when I hug my mom, with food, with a movie,with walking on a park, with my dog, with my friend. The are so many ways to feel love and appreciate the small things in life. Do stuff you love or wanting to do. And let love fill your life in everything you do.

---

Don't give others the key to your happiness.