Do you admit you're lonely?

[edamame721]

I don't say I'm lonely, but I do try to be more social with people when I feel the need to. I ask, but it doesn't always work. Sometimes, I'll meet someone and still feel disconnected from them because the interaction is just on the surface level or they seem disinterested. I have at times referred to someone as a "friend," even if I haven't seen them in a few years. So, a lot of white lies. There's this stigma associated with being alone -- that there must be something wrong with you. And I think most people seek out people who have an established circle of friends, since you can make multiple friends easily that way, and in general, groups tend to be more fun.

 

[Veruca]

I very rarely admit that I am lonely. Its easier to confide in friends online. I guess I feel like by telling people, I am basically saying that something is wrong with me because guys dont find me attractive.

Well, nope. Forget it. Never mind.

Whats up, Beyondshy? =)

 

[BeyondShy]

Whats up, Beyondshy? =)

I said forget it. Just not worth it.

 

[reynard_muldrake]

I don't tell people in day-to-day life about my loneliness. Too many around here wouldn't know what to say, so it's best not to bother. People don't inquire much about my personal life anyway, so it makes the secret that much easier to keep. Confiding in online friends has been a mixed bag. Some have shown concern and support, while others were out of touch. Usually I just talk about the subject with people I've met here or on similar sites.

 

[lifestream]

I've never actually been asked 'Are you lonely?' It seems to be almost a taboo question.

 

[JJSpark]

Nah, I normally pretend like everything is okay and play Candy Crush on my phone. Level 225 here I come. But here is something of value that I have done to help me when I feel lonely, I seek out other lonely individuals and spend time with them. Nursing homes, restaurants, and parks have been very beneficial to me to get out there and meet people. I often just have random conversations with people that are brief and surprisingly people have been very accommodating.

 

[Pulse]

I wouldn't know how to tell anyone and it's embarrassing. I'm more used to hiding everything.

What difference would it make? I don't have anyone to tell anyway.

 

[Guy_In_The_Corner_]

I seldom reveal how lonely I am, but I guess my loneliness comes as a result of a disconnect with friends rather than a lack of them. I really wish there was someone who I could connect with, and stay connected with. Often, if I get over the initial hump of talking to someone I feel connected to them, but as I get to know them better and care about them more I drift away for fear of losing them. I talk less to them, and eventually they're just another person that I feel too awkward to say hi to. It's like a self-fulfilling prophecy. I have a lot of stuff I hide from most of my friends.

Also, I try and talk to my psychologist on a bi-weekly basis, but even with the whole confidentiality thing it's still hard because she's nice and I don't want her to dislike me either.

 

[BreakingtheGirl]

The only person who knows the depth of my loneliness & sadness is my mom...well I guess her husband too since she can't keep her mouth shut sometimes & he's nosy & sees me after I've cried many times when I've stayed at their house. But no I don't share freely since people are so judgemental & THINK they know how to solve my problems bc most people I know (my family) are "know-it-alls" to an extreme.

Last year, I used to pretend that I had a social life & would hang out + sleep in my car for a few days to not burden anyone (mom & grandparents homes) by staying too long at their homes. After 3 days of staying at either home, both get irritated really easily over anything, so I just leave to my car to not start any arguments & feeling in unwelcomed. I tell them I'm staying with the other or with (non-existing) "friends".
Now I don't give a damn & just endure my stays.

 

[BeyondShy]

I hate this, I really do. I hate that so many people are so lonely.

 

[dd11]

Some of us have existential loneliness. Whixh you may feel even if surrounded by friends and family. And people who dont really dont understand.

 

[dd11]

However, I think saying that implies a negative connotation. If you are lonely, then you are somehow a "loser". So, I agree it isn't something to discuss out loud. I think that there are some people, like us on the board here, who view life a bit differently. And, that we have to understand that while we may lay awake at night wresting with existential questions, that the vast majority of people around us are really only concerned with what they are having for supper and what time is the game on and what did Kim Kardashian wear today. They truly do not view the world in the same terms. I used to be perplexed and wonder how people could not see the suffering all around them, but they just don't process life in the same way. So, once you understand and accept that you view the world in slightly different ways, then you can be OK with that. You can be OK and know that what you feel isn't wrong and they are right nor vice versa but just a different viewpoint and processing.

 

[AmytheTemperamental]

I have no problem telling people I'm lonely. People I am close with anyways.

 

[lonelypanda]

Never, I think I wear a pretty good mask in real life. I don't want anyone to know how I really feel, it's almost like depressed or lonely people are an emotional burden to the normies. I just keep it to myself, when someone doesn't understand they don't know what to say, it's almost like you make them uncomfortable by telling them.

 

[Oldyoung]

No, I won't. I suppose it would just come off as needy.

I'd rather tell them I'd like to do something. Go eat dinner, go for a walk, such things.

 

[Minty]

I heard a saying once; 'what's worse than being lonely, is people knowing that you're lonely'

 

[Jafo]

As you go about your daily life do you ever tell anybody how lonely you feel?
I am about as isolated as it's possible to be, at home every day alone and only leaving the house a couple of times a week for shopping.
I have family but they don't live near me so I rarely see them although I do talk to some of them on the phone occasionally but would never dream of saying how lonely I feel.
It seems, for me, to represent some kind of failure as a human to confess loneliness and I think there is a certain stigma attached to it.
Am I wrong to feel this way.............does anyone else feel this way too?

Every day. I tell people how lonely I am, but they don't care. After awhile I got tired of it and just dropped my close friends all together. I keep to myself. I have a job and when I'm not working I'm at home with only going out to the movies or to shop. It os what it is I guess. Some of us are just meant to be lonely.

 

[Pulse]

I can say it online to a degree, but how could I say it in real life?

Not that there's anyone to tell. But I can't even use that l-word to my counselor. I'd rather substitute "alone" and "isolated."

What does it matter? I can't make connections with those out there and no one can solve my existential crisis.

 

[Tealeaf]

I heard a saying once; 'what's worse than being lonely, is people knowing that you're lonely'

Yep, I can relate to that. I feel like I have to wear a mask because people like things in life to be simple and their people to be average. Admitting I'm struggling in something people aren't supposed to struggle in would shatter the image of normalcy I give off in at least some situations, where I feel like I'm part of the goings-on at least.

Even worse, I feel like I have to wear a mask online in niche communities for people outside of the norm. Like people won't value me if they don't think I'm cute, silly, and can rescue them from their own depression--many don't even message those who aren't listed as female. So many "friends" only cared about how much sympathy I could give them.

 

[ardour]

No because talking that way would eventually turn acquaintances/friends off me and act as red flag to anyone else. It's not the done thing. Maybe with family, but no-one else.