Do you get it from your parents

[Joturbo]

I am very much like my father a bit chip off the old block.He was very much a loner most of the time but would meet mates every month or so in a group setting just as I do.I inherited his temper....loyalty .....same routine ...long term married ...long term job..all the same traits I now have.He didn't say alot to me a trait which I find important  not to copy in that I encourage my kids to debate and talk to me as much as possible and I learnt to control my temper late 30's because I could see my youngest copying me.I also have a good female friend ...my wife's best friend also but only in the last few years has this developed.


Just wondered if others feel the same as me and have you been able to change things later in life.?Or even an opinion or advice on it would be great.

 

[Tealeaf]

I don't think either of my parents struggled the way I have, but it definitely runs in the family. Neither of them enjoy busy social lives or have many close friends. To me it's always seemed like they were able to approach and meet people when they wanted, though. My siblings are worse-- either at home with family/hobbies, or they moved far into the country. I think people learn a lot of behavior from their parents, consciously or otherwise.

 

[PurpleStar]

I am nothing like my father was, but as it turns out, I ended up marrying someone who became just like him, so I suppose in that regard I have become just like my mother.
She is very sociable and outgoing though which I am not, so that is about where the similarities end, lol

 

[Sci-Fi]

I have no idea if I get anything from my father, he was never around much so I didn't really know him and died when I was fourteen. I know he was into stock car racing and not to toot my own horn but I am a pretty good driver so maybe I get some skill from him. Definitely don't from my mom, she's had a few accidents and my brother takes after her in driving. She's not a bad driver but when I'm with them I wish their vehicles had a brake peddle on the passenger side. I don't think I'm much like my mother at all, she tends to overshare and she's a morning person. She tends to nag a lot and mother too much. She is so much like her mother was, and she always told my brother and I that if she ever turned into our grandmother to shoot her. She's lucky we don't own a gun, that's meant as a joke by the way I'd never actually shoot her. She is a bit annoying when she's sick even though she doesn't think she is, but she is. My brother is a bit like our mother though but he's worse when he's sick.

 

[Joturbo]

Hi Tealeaf

Yes same here my siblings pretty similar as well and I'm concerned about two of my kids who seem to have loose friendships but spend most time on there own ...should I try and break the cycle I don't know but they seem happy enough so maybe best they find there own way.

Thanks Purple I married a reincarnation of my mother so I know how you feel...I think

Hi Sci-Fi thanks for replying .Hope ok bringing up memories of your father ...he must have been an amazing driver,I went to Superstox in London alot when younger and contact driving at top speed round tight bends was a sight to behold..Thanks .

 

[Xpendable]

Inherited high inhibition and bad physical genes when, in their, time it wasn't a big deal.

 

[ManitobaBrit70]

I'm my Dad through and through........Thankfully because my Mom is one of the most horrible people I've ever met!
However a lot of my insecurities come from my mom due to her mental abuse.......So everyday I'm reminded of her.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Unless it's a genetic medical condition (so far, I have none, hopefully it stays that way) or a feature like my nose, I don't get anything from my parents.
I am my own person and I will continue to be. What I do is because it's what I want to do, not because anyone else did it.

 

[Joturbo]

Unless it's a genetic medical condition (so far, I have none, hopefully it stays that way) or a feature like my nose, I don't get anything from my parents.  
I am my own person and I will continue to be.  What I do is because it's what I want to do, not because anyone else did it.

Hi Callie

Great that you are obviously strong an independent and not effected by your your parents in any way.Did you have loving encouraging parents by any chance...because I had quite the opposite in my father and my mother who I was very close to was one of the kindest most gentle people you could meet.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Unless it's a genetic medical condition (so far, I have none, hopefully it stays that way) or a feature like my nose, I don't get anything from my parents.  
I am my own person and I will continue to be.  What I do is because it's what I want to do, not because anyone else did it.

Hi Callie

Great that you are obviously strong an independent and not effected by your your parents in any way.Did you have loving encouraging parents by any chance...because I had quite the opposite in my father and my mother who I was very close to was one of the kindest most gentle people you could meet.

No, "loving and encouraging" is definitely NOT how I would describe my parents. lol

 

[Joturbo]

Unless it's a genetic medical condition (so far, I have none, hopefully it stays that way) or a feature like my nose, I don't get anything from my parents.  
I am my own person and I will continue to be.  What I do is because it's what I want to do, not because anyone else did it.

Hi Callie

Great that you are obviously strong an independent and not effected by your your parents in any way.Did you have loving encouraging parents by any chance...because I had quite the opposite in my father and my mother who I was very close to was one of the kindest most gentle people you could meet.

No, "loving and encouraging" is definitely NOT how I would describe my parents. lol

If you don't mind me asking Callie where do you think you got your strength from?Or was it all your own work.I ask this because I know my father affected the way I am and it has taken years to sort myself out because he really was a big scarey unhappy man alot of the time which made for a very difficult childhood.

 

[TheRealCallie]

I suppose it came from me. I've been through a lot of **** and I've learned that if I'm the only one that can make myself be who I want to be. No one else can do it for me and I don't want to be who others want me to be or who they think I should be. I am my own person, so I will think and do what I feel is right for me.
The past can only hold you back if you allow it to. I haven't forgotten anything I've been through, but I have accepted it and learned from it. I can't change it, so what good will it do to hold on to it and let it hold me down? The only thing that matters is today. Live for today, don't worry about yesterday or tomorrow. Granted, I'm a mother, so I don't always have that one in check, but I try to stay in today. lol

 

[Joturbo]

I suppose it came from me.  I've been through a lot of **** and I've learned that if I'm the only one that can make myself be who I want to be.  No one else can do it for me and I don't want to be who others want me to be or who they think I should be.  I am my own person, so I will think and do what I feel is right for me.  
The past can only hold you back if you allow it to.  I haven't forgotten anything I've been through, but I have accepted it and learned from it.  I can't change it, so what good will it do to hold on to it and let it hold me down?  The only thing that matters is today.  Live for today, don't worry about yesterday or tomorrow.  Granted, I'm a mother, so I don't always have that one in check, but I try to stay in today.  lol

Thanks Callie...you really helped me when I first joined here and I'll never forget that.Your the reason I've discovered my new passion for art galleries very much appreciated

 

[user 139760]

I'm 50/50 on each of my parents. I got my father's looks and scientific approach to things, but my mother's feeling, emotions and intuition. Not to mention her nastiness (my dad's a pussycat compared to my mom).

And I'm all screwed up. If I was a bit more like either of them, maybe I wouldn't have ended up here today. Some days I think I'd take that as a kindness.

 

[Seahorse]

Both my parents died a long time ago. I miss them,dearly and enjoy the silly traits I recognize in my self that I got from each of them.

 

[ardour]

My mother was highly emotional, very sensitive, neurotically so times,apparently bullied quite badly for a while in school because of it. I can easily see that in myself. She didn't have a wide social circle, and was probably a bit too inhibited and decent to fit in to a lot of adult cliques. Didn't seem to care too much though, she wouldn't try to change herself to suit others. My aunt is a lot less inhibited, more open and relaxed, has less trouble socializing as a result, although she's has had trouble maintaining long term friendships.

The thought of having inherited character traits from my father scares me.

 

[LifePath1]

I take absolutely no good traits from my parents. My father's perfectionism and problems expressing emotion, my mother's anxiety/depression and sometimes a tendency to be over-dramatic. Also just like my mum I usually try to make everyone happy (that can be a bad trait too) On the other side, Both of my parents have lots of friends and I have none. My dad's obsession with money almost ruined my childhood... I'm a Buddhist and would quite happily be homeless if I had love.

 

[TheLoadedDog]

I am my father. It's ****** up my life.

 

[Enpatsu No Shakugan]

Not at all. I'm literally a black sheep in my family.

I guess I just have a different personality.

 

[DanL53]

Since mental disorders have been passed down from my mother's side of the family, I would say yes, my various interesting if at times annoying issues like the agoraphobia are inherited.

I recall some interesting discussion on this with my Psychiatrist, which is where I was first informed to quit blaming my youthful experiences as they may have been a catalyst but the makings for issues were generic.  I'll double check exactly what I was told next time I have an appt.  A few months.

Once I finally accepted my issues a few years ago, I am doing pretty well.  But the loneliness is the effect of being alone.  Nothing is going to change that until I make myself communicate more and get out of the house to actually be around people.