Prodigy said:
The idea of marriage just scares me so much.
I find myself easily annoyed by people all the time. I don't show it on the outside, but this is how I often felt deep down.
I'm currently living together with my parents and brother, and I constantly find myself annoyed by them. The same thing goes for my coworkers in my workplace, I constantly feel anxious around them and I'm unable to be myself around them.
I see everyone else around me getting married, and my mom is also urging me to get married, but idk if marriage is for me. I'm not sure if I'm able to tolerate living together in the same space with people without getting annoyed by them.
Does anyone else feel the same way too?
Marriage is a scary word, until you find yourself in love. "Love" is a word the majority of people have no idea about. I have said "I love you" to women in the past. My horrible toxic 23 marriage I said <I love you> to her. The three year relationship following my separation and divorce, I said I love you. Yet I thought I was, until the real thing happened. And I recognized it for what it was, even though it was the first time I had ever experienced it.
In the first, the marriage, I REGRETTED marrying her over and over. A legal commitment that was hard to disentangle from. The three year girlfriend I was so into, but unwilling to committ to her on that level.
I am in love now. I recognize it for what it is, even though I've been in relationships prior where I SAID it, THOUGHT it, yet this relationship is amazing. Marriage was made for a relationship where people are in love. Its the perfect framework, to place around it. I have been with her for two years, the fastest and best two years of my life and I will marry her. I feel so damn lucky..... Love, is strange. Its the best and worst feeling you well ever have. It sucks up all your thoughts and energy, yet you'd change nothing.
I plan on marrying this girl, and even though I went through a bad marriage, I KNOW I'll do this one right because I love her. When you truly love someone, you naturally do everything right.