Do you want to get married?

Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum

Help Support Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.
Actually, I don't see it the same as I see living with roommates or family members, Surely if I'd lived with a woman, we would probably drive each other nuts every once in a while but it's just different because you are the one choosing to live with him/her so it usually someone you get along with, as oppose to family and in many cases roommates.
 
Your reasons for questioning marriage have more to do with living together, than your willingness to commit to someone. Thats why you live together, to work all that out. Relationships go through stages; dating obviously first. Spend time together doing fun things, romance, mundane. Working your way up to taking trips together, spending weekends or more together. From there you learn if you click, if there's durability in the chemistry, if there's love actually which I should have placed further up on the priority list. Then you live together, and when that happens you go through a transition, you learn to communicate on a different level than when just dating. There will be miscommunication to work out as you get to know each other. There will be times where you're in-sync, conflict-resolution, there will be a deepening of intimacy, and your love should grow. Then you have to decide if you want to take this relationship and frame it with marriage.

The marriage framework provides a greater level of security, or at least it should.
 
**** no. It's not worth it, especially if you're a man. To me, getting married and settling down is a waste of a life. I want to live my life within reason, not be tied down by a wife and family.
 
Depends on the country I choose to live in long term and whether or not I have kids. If I had to live in a conservative society, kids or no kids, then yes. I wouldn't want me or my kids to be ostracized. But it wouldn't matter either way if it were a liberal country.
 
Assuming life-long monogamy is on the table, I can't see what the problem would be. Asuming one believes if it's just a meaningless title that doesn't necessarily discount it. In most countires division of assets laws for de-facto couples apply, typically after 2-5 years living togethor, so there's no protection by not marryng. There needs to be a legally recognized agreement (and there's no denying that implies a lack of trust - again assuming 'life-long' is what both parties claim to want).

If a hypothetical long term girlfriend said they would never consider getting married it would suggest certain things and be a red flag for me, though obviously not to others with a more jaded, less idealistic sort of outlook.
 
Maybe at gunpoint. Marriage today and marriage historically are not the same thing anymore.
Governement thanks you for your generous financial contributions to the economy more than anything else.
 
Probably not, if things keep going the way they have for me. I'd hate to be financially tied to someone I'm only lukewarm about at best, only because I couldn't get where I really wanted, and then things fall apart and on top of all of that I find that they get to take my stuff or I owe them money and there's nothing I can do about it.

I've been to a few of my friends' weddings and the ceremonies are nice, and I feel like the families like it, it means something to them. But I don't think it would be a good idea unless things change for me somehow.
 
Well I might reconsider if I was bribed into it.
I mean, I never claimed to be a Saint. :)
 
Prodigy said:
The idea of marriage just scares me so much.

I find myself easily annoyed by people all the time. I don't show it on the outside, but this is how I often felt deep down.
I'm currently living together with my parents and brother, and I constantly find myself annoyed by them. The same thing goes for my coworkers in my workplace, I constantly feel anxious around them and I'm unable to be myself around them.

I see everyone else around me getting married, and my mom is also urging me to get married, but idk if marriage is for me. I'm not sure if I'm able to tolerate living together in the same space with people without getting annoyed by them.

Does anyone else feel the same way too?

Marriage is a scary word, until you find yourself in love.  "Love" is a word the majority of people have no idea about. I have said "I love you" to women in the past.  My horrible toxic 23 marriage I said <I love you> to her.  The three year relationship following my separation and divorce, I said I love you.  Yet I thought I was, until the real thing happened. And I recognized it for what it was, even though it was the first time I had ever experienced it.

In the first, the marriage, I REGRETTED marrying her over and over. A legal commitment that was hard to disentangle from. The three year girlfriend I was so into, but unwilling to committ to her on that level.

I am in love now. I recognize it for what it is, even though I've been in relationships prior where I SAID it, THOUGHT it, yet this relationship is amazing.  Marriage was made for a relationship where people are in love. Its the perfect framework, to place around it.  I have been with her for two years, the fastest and best two years of my life and I will marry her.  I feel so damn lucky..... Love, is strange. Its the best and worst feeling you well ever have.  It sucks up all your thoughts and energy, yet you'd change nothing.

I plan on marrying this girl, and even though I went through a bad marriage, I KNOW I'll do this one right because I love her. When you truly love someone, you naturally do everything right.
 
I do not want to get married because of following reasons:
1) marriage is slavery and a burden (especially for men and for me particularly);
2) in order to get married I have to become a rich man;
3) I have big need for personal space;
4) I am afraid that a wife can take my freedom and my money away;
5) any relationship with women demands time and money but I do not want lose my time and money;
6) I think that *** is possible and allowed without marriage.
 

Latest posts

Back
Top