Do you wish women would approach you first?

[EveWasFramed]

Gosh you have just made my day....

The sarcasm meter just hit a dangerously high level with that response.

Then you might want to rethink what you consider sarcasm. I could be completely wrong, but I don't think that was meant to be sarcastic. If it was, I apologize in advance.

Gosh, you have just made my day! lol

that better?

I was right, it wasn't sarcasm, was it?

 

[Triple Bogey]

I think women make it obvious, they are clear about who they want.
The trouble is it hardly ever happens with me, it's not I can't see it, it just doesn't happen. I can tell the difference between genuine attraction and some sympatric words which sometimes happen.

 

[Rosewood]

My approaching a guy first is usually a disaster. They think I'm easy if I am flirty. A geek if I say something to smart. I get nervous and oversell. I hope guys feel comfortable approaching me. I can't say I'd never say "hi". Take a chance right?

 

[Wanderer145]

Women just don't make the first move its up to Men to do it, just how it works. It would be a huge confidence boost if that happened but it rarely ever happens.

 

[painter's radio]

No.

Don't approach me, I wont approach you, and we can avoid slowly destroying each others souls and will to live and years of heartbreak and therapy and chocolate icecream when it inevitably ***** up. Stay the **** away from me. (But love me! I'm so alone!)

And yeah it did look sarcastic, both times, though I wouldn't see the logic in rephrasing it if it was meant to be sarcastic.

 

[WildernessWildChild]

Considering I'm covered in grime, sweat, and smell like a swamp-donkey no sane women are gonna approach me....but I am on ALL, anythings possible here *howling with laughter*

---

No.

Don't approach me, I wont approach you, and we can avoid slowly destroying each others souls and will to live and years of heartbreak and therapy and chocolate icecream when it inevitably ***** up. Stay the **** away from me. (But love me! I'm so alone!)

And yeah it did look sarcastic, both times, though I wouldn't see the logic in rephrasing it if it was meant to be sarcastic.

That was absolutely poetic until the chocolate ice-cream part....maybe substitute 'angst' for 'chocolate ice cream'?

 

[Dexter]

As I am struggling a lot myself with approaching other people, it would be great if someone else would approach me.
And I am not just talking about women here, I wish people in general would approach me first.

 

[Veruca]

My approaching a guy first is usually a disaster. They think I'm easy if I am flirty. A geek if I say something to smart. I get nervous and oversell.

I am in the same boat with Rosewood. Whenever I approach men, they either think I'm some wild girl who wants to have a good time, or they get scared and run away. Seeing that it has never worked for me, I let guys make the first move now. Except, they never do! lol..

 

[VeganAtheist]

I do wish women would approach me. It hasn't happened to me in public.
It has happened a few times with online dating.

I am not a particularly attractive guy so I would be very surprised if it happened.

 

[Mike413]

I think if it was going to happen to me it would probably be more likely to happen in person than online. It has happened to me very rarely in both cases. I'd actually rather do the approaching. I'm not sure I would want the women who have approached or would do it.

 

[Mike510]

That's pretty much how I have gotten every girlfriend in my life. Everytime I approached women it was an automatic no, or get lead on for a long period of time.

 

[SimonT]

Can I just say as a woman...that a woman taking the lead is a mistake for the woman? If she does, she may flatter the man's ego but she will never be chased and never be as adored as the woman he had to chase.

I wish this was not true but it is! At least for masculine men.

I am for flirting and letting the man know you are available and interested so he can take the next step...but talk to him first. Nope. Doesn't work. It even turns off even the most liberal of men and they don't even know why themselves.

I disagree with that. I've had my low days, and been single a while. I have anxiety, so approaching a girl causes me a lot of approach anxiety. I have however been at the bus station waiting for a bus, and been so low it is untrue. Seen a girl, and checked her out, to the point she'd have noticed, and wished she'd just come talk to me, harmlessly, but no, never happens does it. A girl showing me she liked me would have had such a massive impact on my confidence and mood it would have probably changed my life. Oh and btw, I wasn't displaying any signs of being depressed, I know I can't say that for sure as I'm unable to see myself through somebody elses eyes, but fairly certain. I was being calm and collected. So it wasn't anything I said that made her not approach, it's just the way it is, and for men like me, it sucks bigtime.

---

What it is, is that sometimes, and it works both ways is, if the woman was attractive, then the man she approached would feel great and wow, I must be an attractive guy then, which is great, but if the girl wasn't so attractive, then the guy would probably not want her to approach him. Sad really, but that's just how it would be in most cases I reckon, cause men go for looks, and women for personality. If she wasn't greatly attractive though, it could also depend on the way she acted as well. If she was genuinely a nice sweet girl, then yeah, great, have a chat, it'd still make you feel good and warm your day, but sadly this is never gonna happen anyway is it. Mainly because it comes down to 2 things. 1) Women being the weaker sex, and therefore are more wary, and have to see what a man is like first. i.e - if she doesn't let him make the first move and see how he acts and comes across first, then she could be chatting to a guy who might be a bit of nutjob, but is good at hiding it, or she might not be able to tell cause she's doing most of the talking. 2) Women who approach men first, as mentioned in this thread earlier, would be seen as easy, and some men would call her a slag or whatever. I wouldn't myself, but it's just what it's like isn't it, which isn't fair. Men who sleep with lots of women are seen as a stud, and women who sleep with lots of men are seen as a ****. So other men labeling girls this way has stopped men like me being approached by women and thus living a lonely life, excuse the pun.
Going back to the original thread topic though, I've had plenty of women I wish would've just said, "Hi! how are you, you alright/ok?" when I've been depressed as hell, and to be honest, it's really all I would've wanted. On those occasions though, I've wished I could've made the first move, but think it's due to being anxious and depressed that I didn't. Also, cause of the fact that on the majority of occasions I do pluck the courage to approach a girl I don't know, it generally doesn't go greatly. I must be so anxious when I do so it just makes me come across a bit strange and not flow good.
To sum up:- Women ain't never gonna approach men anytime soon so basically, we're gonna have to deal with this and get over it, sadly.
It must be noticeable though by women who may not be as attractive as others, they must see the way men ogle/stare at women who are very attractive, and that must make them feel unattractive if they're single. Also not getting approached as much as the hotter women, and it must make them dislike them a bit.

 

[thelonegamer]

Real men approach women first I mean, everyone has that dream of some beautiful hot woman/man dying just to meet u But for me it's just a dream, nothing further, it's not like I ain't dating other people 'cause I'm expecting someone to get to me.
Plus, I think it's foolish but it's relative: what's nice for me isn't for u.
Something of the kind

 

[Triple Bogey]

i see women approach men all the time.
It happens but not to me.

 

[MrPaul]

I've never been approached and if I approached someone I think it would turn out with me sounding creepy xD which it may or may not... but at the end of the day there is no other way to get to know women. Just gotta take the chance(s) or watch life go by while you sit and hope... I should really stop being such a scaredy-cat xD I keep telling myself 'just do it... yeah I'll do it next time'..... 'ok, maybe the next time...' lol

 

[EveWasFramed]

Maybe if the sexes stopped making assumptions and stereotyping each other, we wouldn't have a thread like this one.
Just sayin...

 

[M_also_lonely]

No. Because if they did, I would die of happiness, surprise and shock. And I don't want to die.

In a way, yes. Because I could never figure out what steps to take. Atleast I wouldn't be rude with someone who would approach me. I would try to understand incase I survived the initial stage of shock. I read all the different articles online, and tried them. Also watched videos. But they didn't actually work. Might be my mistakes but how can you figure that out? I am not telling that every woman should approach men and men shouldn't approach women.

Moreover, I always saw girls approaching the smart, funny and handsome etc. guys during school and college. Since it never happened to me, I can assume that I am not smart and handsome. I was quite jealous of those guys who were approached, because I wouldn't even get proper responses when I approached. I wish I was one of those guys.

Since I know the feeling of being invisible, I wouldn't do it to the girl. I would listen to them and try to connect with them. But for that you have to become charming and handsome. That I couldn't become.

But then again, what would I say in-case they would approach me. That I don't know. So on one side, I feel that its good that I was the invisible guy. I would scare them anyway. I have bored enough women in my life. :-D

But I just wish I could meet a woman in this life. And her approaching me would be definitely be the most beautiful experience I would have. But great things aren't for everyone. That's what make great things great.

I have heard that girls would approach in very rare, special cases. But everyone is not special, because otherwise, being special would be meaningless. Relationships weren't supposed to be a thing for me. So I have moved on and accepted that I have to live alone. And it mostly feels good except when you know that the girl whom you dared to approach and spent days planning what you would say to her, is getting married.

 

[wallflower79]

I approach men as in going up to talk to them, but I don't try to pursue them as a romantic option because I know that they will never value me as much as they would if they had done the pursuing. Every instance of me doing those things has failed miserably. :/

 

[Xpendable]

The prettier the woman, the less she ahs to worry about apporaching first.

 

[Sun35]

The prettier the woman, the less she ahs to worry about apporaching first.

Neither do I approach women and neither do I wish that women approach me first. Even if women approach me first, it's still my choice if I want to make friends with them or not but I really don't care